Anonymous wrote:One reason - support network. Women have more friends than men.Womem maintain their friendship and help each other in times of emotional distress.

Men don't have friends. They have drinking and sports watching buddies.

Anonymous wrote:Having been held down for a long time is like rubber band being released. He put me in the hole by using my credit cards.
Once I got rid of him, here came to rubber band to the other direction. My net worth skyrocketed.
Same with the emotional abuse. I get so much done when nobody is putting me down at home.
Before you ask where I find the losers, I said 'no' to about hundred other ones.

Anonymous wrote:Rather than make it a gender thing, why not just say that if one person is dead weight in the marriage, they will often fair worse in a divorce than their spouse. If one partner takes much better care of themselves, they'll do better on the dating scene than a spouse who let themselves go. If one partner has a significantly better career, they'll eventually end up in a better place most of the time, but this will vary by couple based on their age, length of marriage, where they live, and what they got in their settlement.

Anonymous wrote:Sure, men have the wealth. But women are far happier without that wealth and the man-baggage that seems to come with it.

Anonymous wrote:Is this true? Men seem to remarry pretty quickly and move on.

Anonymous wrote:Why do women do so well post divorce compared to men? Women look and act happier. Their love life is better. Men on the other hand go downhill....

Anonymous wrote:Anecdotal, but in my social circle, the women mostly initiated the divorces. After that, there was a period where they were really happy - dating a lot, celebrating being single, etc. That died down and they are single, don't date much, and are financially worse off than they were.

Their husbands, meanwhile, seemed more dejected initially. But they have mostly gotten re-married and are financially the same or better off.

*That said* the women who initiated the divorces are probably better off overall because the men they divorced simply were not great partners for one reason or another.

I can't say who is doing better overall. Depends how you keep score, I guess.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IME the men remarry faster and earn more; the women over 50 get plastic surgery and look desperate or spend time with their kids and never remarry. Sometime the women will have a boyfriend but it fades.

Agreed and I'm a woman. I'm spending a lot of my time trying to make ends meet and raise the kids and getting judged by my peers. My friends are kind but judge negatively and worry about divorce spread and without a husband I often don't fit in well. Money is low so less ability to do social things. The kids are needy. It's a lot of work and my friendships have gone down, not up. I do feel more capable but that's mainly because I now have to do more. I got the house for the kids and its a ton of upkeep. I now get to do all the volunteer work and am looked down on if I dont do my share. Swim team is almost a daily second job. My ex is doing worse if you mean social status and better if you mean more money and a relaxing life. He's moved onto easy street with the responsibilities of someone single and out of college with no debt. Lives in some apartment in DC with a revolving door of lovers. It's like an early retirement. Meanwhile my child from age 10 on had to grow up basically without a father.

I assume there is good reason why the kids dad isn’t involved and splitting some of the parenting responsibility?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have seen the exact opposite in the 50-year date range. The men have zero problem moving on and doing well. Many of the SAHMs had complete lifestyle downgrades and had to get a job. Dating is much, much harder for them too. Easy to find someone to screw- but not an actual relationship.

Okay, so I’ve seen this too, but the women still seem happier than the men.
My friend went to live in a tiny apartment on the river and got a job coaching a D3 college team in a sport that she loves. She dates different men if she feels like it. She stays with me when she comes back into town to visit her college aged children, and she seems genuinely much happier.

I can see how you could say that she had a lifestyle downgrade, had to get a job, and doesn’t have a long term partner. But I don’t know that those things are all they are cracked up to be.