Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so sad. Our kids are both in HS at this point and we do things without them all the time. They're old enough to be home alone. Literally we go out together or with friends every single weekend. We don't do overnight stays without them of course but it sounds like people went from helicopter parenting teens that were close to being adults to having them off at college.

Just curious why "of course"? We have done plenty of overnight stays without our 15 and 17-year-old kids.

This depends on the child's age as well as the capability of the specific children. One of ours just turned 13 and I think in MoCo we can leave him alone at night, he's probably not quite ready for it yet.

My youngest son (for example) was fine all alone over night at 13/14 but when 15-17 happened there was too much pressure from friends to have a party.

My oldest we in college and one of us would stay home when visiting him (he played a sport so we went often) because my youngest had his own stuff and couldn't go and he said his friends would just show up with beer and he didn't think he could say no.

My oldest OTOH had no problem saying no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I started talking up GMU since my kids were 3.

My kids had a blast going away to school - worked hard but also so much fun, great college experience.

Try not to make it about you.

I agree. Our two went off to college within two years of each other.. The best time ever for them.
We love hearing all their stories and on their time.

Y'all don't need to do more to proof your worth to live. Do what's necessary and what makes you happy.

I miss mine yet am using the time to learn a new language. I was able to speak with a neighbor in the new language and understood what she told me!

Just took a work trip and added in lots of time with friends. I’ve gotten in touch with old friends I’d lost touch with. My kids were high needs and sucked up a lot of energy, which was fine back then.

In the past, I worked hard jobs in mostly toxic environments. Now I own a small agency and have lots of flexibility.

The worst thing for me is feeling like I should be doing more, and I have some goals that I’m no making good progress on. So it’s not all rainbows. But I’m working on that and aiming to improve.

First off, loathe the term empty nest.
Live in a building with walls & a roof.
Mammal, so no wings or feathers.

Be happy that your kids are independent, starting new lives. Learn how to have new relationships with your adult children.

Once we dropped child off, we went to Asia to teach & travel. Spend time with spouse, husband or partner.

Have fun.

Most of all, be understanding of adult children's need for space to become their own people, not 2D images of your vision for them.

*Also guide your adult kids plan their independent lives with their own career track, income, health insurance, life partners and vision of the future so if you aren't there, they don't feel lost or overwhelmed.

Uninvolved or super involved, all parents enter a new phase as empty nesters. Its an emotional transition, everyone adjusts in their own way but consciously reshaping your lives is a necessity. You still have good 20+ years left so reconnect with each other as couple, with children as adult to adult and with friends as free birds. Enjoy freedom, downsize possessions and liabilities, travel, plan for post-retirement and elderly years. Its time to be flexible, untethered, enlightened so you can float freely without trappings of the world.

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so sad. Our kids are both in HS at this point and we do things without them all the time. They're old enough to be home alone. Literally we go out together or with friends every single weekend. We don't do overnight stays without them of course but it sounds like people went from helicopter parenting teens that were close to being adults to having them off at college.

Why such a judgmental bit—? We do things by ourselves and without kids. I’ve always worked and had hobbies and so has DH. But we love our family and family time. I love spending time with my kids too. That’s not helicopter parenting. So FU.

DH and I fell immediately back into our pre-child routines from decades prior. It's been great, but I miss the hustle and bustle and organizing force of having children. However, the latter part faded as the kids grew, so it's time to move on.

Life is amazing.
Absolutely zero issues now that our nest is empty.

We actually moved once our second went off to college.

Embrace and Enjoy it!

Ma.

Anonymous wrote:My daughter went through 4 years of undergrad and will start her last year of her masters in social work in September. She had not lived home since going to college. She is our only child. I stayed home with her till she went to first grade. My sweet dog passed away last year. I thought my husband and I would be able to bond and go on vacations. Instead nothing changed. I feel so lonely and lost. What am I doing wrong does anyone else feel this way? Btw my daughter and I were so close. It makes it hurt even more. Please don’t tell me to get a life thank you dawn [youtube]

That's super depressing. Do you live in DC, MD, or VA?

My daughter went through 4 years of undergrad and will start her last year of her masters in social work in September. She had not lived home since going to college. She is our only child. I stayed home with her till she went to first grade. My sweet dog passed away last year. I thought my husband and I would be able to bond and go on vacations. Instead nothing changed. I feel so lonely and lost. What am I doing wrong does anyone else feel this way? Btw my daughter and I were so close. It makes it hurt even more. Please don’t tell me to get a life thank you dawn [youtube]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so sad. Our kids are both in HS at this point and we do things without them all the time. They're old enough to be home alone. Literally we go out together or with friends every single weekend. We don't do overnight stays without them of course but it sounds like people went from helicopter parenting teens that were close to being adults to having them off at college.

Just curious why "of course"? We have done plenty of overnight stays without our 15 and 17-year-old kids.

This depends on the child's age as well as the capability of the specific children. One of ours just turned 13 and I think in MoCo we can leave him alone at night, he's probably not quite ready for it yet.