Spit on the first and the third

Are we all being honest about what teen boys do with unsupervised free time? Best case, my 13 year old is gaming.

It may be hard to define overscheduling, but no one can really give an answer as to why kids being so busy is a good thing

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really see kids these days having much different schedules then my friends and I had in the Midwest in the 80s. Year round swim team from a young age, plus several other sports depending on the season or age, an instrument, etc.

I'm in the Midwest and that is what people do today. Competitive swim or hockey/baseball, plus another sport or two each season. Some do an instrument, but nobody calls out families for overdoing sports. Only if the kid is taking an instrument or doing academic enrichment is he "over scheduled." Meanwhile I'm side eying the elementary kid who can't make half his practices due to his "main sport", and when he shows up to games and practices he's a tired mess.

DP, but I do find it interesting that this thread is in the sports forum, but the one study mentioned in the article is about everything kids do after school, including homework. It also found the effects strongest in high school, not younger. It feels like kind of the reverse of your situation (probably cultural in different regions), but I see a lot more overscheduling discourse here around the problems elementary schoolers in travel sports and not high schoolers with too much homework.

(I have neither a high schooler nor a kid in travel sports, so I'm not coming at this from either angle personally)

Kids at every age need and should have free time, they deserve it . I understand wanting to keep high school aged teens out if trouble, and some business is good, but overscheduling is never good.

I don't think it's a helpful contribution to say "overscheduling is bad." Overscheduling is by definition not good, it has the word "over" in it, because it means "too much." I think the conversation of "how much scheduling is overscheduling" is much more complicated.

I also don't know any kids who don't have any free time. My kids are elementary school aged, so maybe this changes, but the kids I know in lots of activities are doing five maybe six hours a week of activities out of 70ish hours they're not in school or asleep. It may be that six hours a week isn't giving them enough free time, but again, that's a harder thing to figure out than just saying "kids need free time."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really see kids these days having much different schedules then my friends and I had in the Midwest in the 80s. Year round swim team from a young age, plus several other sports depending on the season or age, an instrument, etc.

I'm in the Midwest and that is what people do today. Competitive swim or hockey/baseball, plus another sport or two each season. Some do an instrument, but nobody calls out families for overdoing sports. Only if the kid is taking an instrument or doing academic enrichment is he "over scheduled." Meanwhile I'm side eying the elementary kid who can't make half his practices due to his "main sport", and when he shows up to games and practices he's a tired mess.

DP, but I do find it interesting that this thread is in the sports forum, but the one study mentioned in the article is about everything kids do after school, including homework. It also found the effects strongest in high school, not younger. It feels like kind of the reverse of your situation (probably cultural in different regions), but I see a lot more overscheduling discourse here around the problems elementary schoolers in travel sports and not high schoolers with too much homework.

(I have neither a high schooler nor a kid in travel sports, so I'm not coming at this from either angle personally)

Kids at every age need and should have free time, they deserve it . I understand wanting to keep high school aged teens out if trouble, and some business is good, but overscheduling is never good.

The thing is - overscheduling is never defined. I don't know a single kid who doesn't have free time. The elementary schoolers who play travel sports and practice 3x per week? Still seem to hang out with neighborhood friends plenty. The high schoolers who have summer jobs, play in the orchestra, and are multi-season varsity athletes taking rigorous courseloads? Still seem to be hanging out at the pool when they aren't working there.

Anyone who uses their time well, to include kids, can usually find free time. Is it enough free time? That's up for debate. But you can usually wring free time out of a day.

I guess the definition of overscheduling varies from family to family, as others have said. My 14 year old kid who does a travel sport isn’t overscheduled in my opinion. He has two hour practices twice a week, one game mid-week, and a doubleheader on Sundays, which I grant can be time-consuming.

He gets home from school at 2:45 and one night a week, has an hour of tutoring. I think he has plenty of downtime, but I recognize that many would disagree. I know others who have their children in two travel sports at the same time, or families with multiple kids, one of whom is in rec baseball, travel baseball, and middle school baseball, with siblings who play on two teams simultaneously. That wouldn’t work for our family, but I don’t know they would say they feel overscheduled.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really see kids these days having much different schedules then my friends and I had in the Midwest in the 80s. Year round swim team from a young age, plus several other sports depending on the season or age, an instrument, etc.

I'm in the Midwest and that is what people do today. Competitive swim or hockey/baseball, plus another sport or two each season. Some do an instrument, but nobody calls out families for overdoing sports. Only if the kid is taking an instrument or doing academic enrichment is he "over scheduled." Meanwhile I'm side eying the elementary kid who can't make half his practices due to his "main sport", and when he shows up to games and practices he's a tired mess.

DP, but I do find it interesting that this thread is in the sports forum, but the one study mentioned in the article is about everything kids do after school, including homework. It also found the effects strongest in high school, not younger. It feels like kind of the reverse of your situation (probably cultural in different regions), but I see a lot more overscheduling discourse here around the problems elementary schoolers in travel sports and not high schoolers with too much homework.

(I have neither a high schooler nor a kid in travel sports, so I'm not coming at this from either angle personally)

Kids at every age need and should have free time, they deserve it . I understand wanting to keep high school aged teens out if trouble, and some business is good, but overscheduling is never good.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really see kids these days having much different schedules then my friends and I had in the Midwest in the 80s. Year round swim team from a young age, plus several other sports depending on the season or age, an instrument, etc.

I'm in the Midwest and that is what people do today. Competitive swim or hockey/baseball, plus another sport or two each season. Some do an instrument, but nobody calls out families for overdoing sports. Only if the kid is taking an instrument or doing academic enrichment is he "over scheduled." Meanwhile I'm side eying the elementary kid who can't make half his practices due to his "main sport", and when he shows up to games and practices he's a tired mess.

DP, but I do find it interesting that this thread is in the sports forum, but the one study mentioned in the article is about everything kids do after school, including homework. It also found the effects strongest in high school, not younger. It feels like kind of the reverse of your situation (probably cultural in different regions), but I see a lot more overscheduling discourse here around the problems elementary schoolers in travel sports and not high schoolers with too much homework.

(I have neither a high schooler nor a kid in travel sports, so I'm not coming at this from either angle personally)

Anonymous wrote:I don't really see kids these days having much different schedules then my friends and I had in the Midwest in the 80s. Year round swim team from a young age, plus several other sports depending on the season or age, an instrument, etc.

I'm in the Midwest and that is what people do today. Competitive swim or hockey/baseball, plus another sport or two each season. Some do an instrument, but nobody calls out families for overdoing sports. Only if the kid is taking an instrument or doing academic enrichment is he "over scheduled." Meanwhile I'm side eying the elementary kid who can't make half his practices due to his "main sport", and when he shows up to games and practices he's a tired mess.

Anonymous wrote:Why do pro overscheduling parents always feel attacked? They're the ones who "attack" parents who refuse to overschedule or who give their kids limits and boundaries on activities.

Are you reading the same thread I am? The "attacking" here is basically all parents accusing other people of being over scheduled.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do pro overscheduling parents always feel attacked? They're the ones who "attack" parents who refuse to overschedule or who give their kids limits and boundaries on activities.

So you didn’t read the article.

I did read the article, I stand by my opinions. Except the one where I insinuated that Katie ledecky raised her wrong, that was harsh.

The article says some kids thrive with that schedule and under schedulers need to stop blaming those parents for doing what is right for their kids and not cave to do what is wrong for their kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do pro overscheduling parents always feel attacked? They're the ones who "attack" parents who refuse to overschedule or who give their kids limits and boundaries on activities.

So you didn’t read the article.

I did read the article, I stand by my opinions. Except the one where I insinuated that Katie ledecky raised her wrong, that was harsh.

Anonymous wrote:Why do pro overscheduling parents always feel attacked? They're the ones who "attack" parents who refuse to overschedule or who give their kids limits and boundaries on activities.

So you didn’t read the article.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every child is different.

Some thrive at being extremely busy and some don’t.

Parent the child you have.

The problem is parents (like OP) who are trying to shame other parents into NOT being busy so she can feel better about her kids not being busy.

OP is afraid the kid who thrives on being super busy will get into a better college and “that’s not fair”.

Parent your child in a way that is best for them.

You obviously have a very narrow view of parenting and success. I do not need my child to get into a specific highly ranked college to feel like a good parent. Nor does my child need to prove anything to me.
I feel sorry for your kids and your way of thinking.

Neither do my kids but one likes to be busy and another doesn’t. I raise them each the way that is best for them.

You’re only mad about the way I raise one of my kids because now you feel pressure to do the same.

That’s your problem not mine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do pro overscheduling parents always feel attacked? They're the ones who "attack" parents who refuse to overschedule or who give their kids limits and boundaries on activities.

Do you know what thread you’re on?

Of course I do. It was a question?