Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes Op, you should give in because it's not that important to you

It’s her wedding. Of course it’s important to her. She doesn’t like the idea of separate venues and wants to get married at the venue they have booked. She doesn’t want to lie to a priest about how she will raise her kids. She wouldn’t have posted here if this issue wasn’t important to her.

There is no reason religion should be considered more important than the desire to have a non-religious wedding.

Is it HER wedding? Nobody else involved?

Reading comp fail. We were discussing in particular what is important to OP. The PP said this isn’t important to her. I said of course it is, it’s her wedding. Most people care about their wedding. It’s a huge logical leap to go from “her wedding” = hers and hers alone.

If I say “I love my kids” that doesn’t mean I’m asserting that they are my kids alone and don’t have a father. But you’re twisting yourself in knots to follow that line of thinking.

You're not very smart. And bad analogy. The her fiancé wants a church wedding. Full stop. They are at an impasse. Someone will give in and will be resentful. That they didn't get the wedding "they" wanted. The marriage is doomed but good to know before they end up divorced.

You (or whoever the PP was) equated stating that it’s her wedding with meaning no one else is involved. I was pointing out the stupidity in that particular logic (not the merits of this wedding itself).

If you walked into a bakery and said “I’d like to order a cake for my wedding day” and the baker said “YOUR wedding day? Are you marrying yourself? Is there no one else involved?” you would probably think wow, that baker is pretty stupid.

Just stop with the stupid analogies. A wedding is about more than just the party. It's about compatibility, values, and mutual respect. There is a red flag here that they aren't on the same page in several ways.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes Op, you should give in because it's not that important to you

It’s her wedding. Of course it’s important to her. She doesn’t like the idea of separate venues and wants to get married at the venue they have booked. She doesn’t want to lie to a priest about how she will raise her kids. She wouldn’t have posted here if this issue wasn’t important to her.

There is no reason religion should be considered more important than the desire to have a non-religious wedding.

Is it HER wedding? Nobody else involved?

Reading comp fail. We were discussing in particular what is important to OP. The PP said this isn’t important to her. I said of course it is, it’s her wedding. Most people care about their wedding. It’s a huge logical leap to go from “her wedding” = hers and hers alone.

If I say “I love my kids” that doesn’t mean I’m asserting that they are my kids alone and don’t have a father. But you’re twisting yourself in knots to follow that line of thinking.

You're not very smart. And bad analogy. The her fiancé wants a church wedding. Full stop. They are at an impasse. Someone will give in and will be resentful. That they didn't get the wedding "they" wanted. The marriage is doomed but good to know before they end up divorced.

You (or whoever the PP was) equated stating that it’s her wedding with meaning no one else is involved. I was pointing out the stupidity in that particular logic (not the merits of this wedding itself).

If you walked into a bakery and said “I’d like to order a cake for my wedding day” and the baker said “YOUR wedding day? Are you marrying yourself? Is there no one else involved?” you would probably think wow, that baker is pretty stupid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes Op, you should give in because it's not that important to you

It’s her wedding. Of course it’s important to her. She doesn’t like the idea of separate venues and wants to get married at the venue they have booked. She doesn’t want to lie to a priest about how she will raise her kids. She wouldn’t have posted here if this issue wasn’t important to her.

There is no reason religion should be considered more important than the desire to have a non-religious wedding.

Is it HER wedding? Nobody else involved?

Reading comp fail. We were discussing in particular what is important to OP. The PP said this isn’t important to her. I said of course it is, it’s her wedding. Most people care about their wedding. It’s a huge logical leap to go from “her wedding” = hers and hers alone.

If I say “I love my kids” that doesn’t mean I’m asserting that they are my kids alone and don’t have a father. But you’re twisting yourself in knots to follow that line of thinking.

You're not very smart. And bad analogy. The her fiancé wants a church wedding. Full stop. They are at an impasse. Someone will give in and will be resentful. That they didn't get the wedding "they" wanted. The marriage is doomed but good to know before they end up divorced.

Anonymous wrote:she said it's not important to her

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes Op, you should give in because it's not that important to you

It’s her wedding. Of course it’s important to her. She doesn’t like the idea of separate venues and wants to get married at the venue they have booked. She doesn’t want to lie to a priest about how she will raise her kids. She wouldn’t have posted here if this issue wasn’t important to her.

There is no reason religion should be considered more important than the desire to have a non-religious wedding.

Is it HER wedding? Nobody else involved?

It’s her wedding just as much as her DH’s. What she wants should matter more than what DH’s family wants. If DH personally wants to marry in a church he can articulate the reasons to her. But “my family all got married in a church and mommy and daddy want me to marry in a church” is a pretty stupid reason for the couple to decide this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes Op, you should give in because it's not that important to you

It’s her wedding. Of course it’s important to her. She doesn’t like the idea of separate venues and wants to get married at the venue they have booked. She doesn’t want to lie to a priest about how she will raise her kids. She wouldn’t have posted here if this issue wasn’t important to her.

There is no reason religion should be considered more important than the desire to have a non-religious wedding.

Is it HER wedding? Nobody else involved?

Reading comp fail. We were discussing in particular what is important to OP. The PP said this isn’t important to her. I said of course it is, it’s her wedding. Most people care about their wedding. It’s a huge logical leap to go from “her wedding” = hers and hers alone.

If I say “I love my kids” that doesn’t mean I’m asserting that they are my kids alone and don’t have a father. But you’re twisting yourself in knots to follow that line of thinking.

Anonymous wrote:Oh, and “We aren’t religious, don’t go to church, and will not be raising our kids in any religion.”

Yet.

Because if the influence of his parents and family is such that he wants to create what looks like a church wedding to satisfy them (and probably a part of him), everything else is up for grabs too.

it’s not that important to me

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes Op, you should give in because it's not that important to you

It’s her wedding. Of course it’s important to her. She doesn’t like the idea of separate venues and wants to get married at the venue they have booked. She doesn’t want to lie to a priest about how she will raise her kids. She wouldn’t have posted here if this issue wasn’t important to her.

There is no reason religion should be considered more important than the desire to have a non-religious wedding.

Is it HER wedding? Nobody else involved?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes Op, you should give in because it's not that important to you

It’s her wedding. Of course it’s important to her. She doesn’t like the idea of separate venues and wants to get married at the venue they have booked. She doesn’t want to lie to a priest about how she will raise her kids. She wouldn’t have posted here if this issue wasn’t important to her.

There is no reason religion should be considered more important than the desire to have a non-religious wedding.

Is it HER wedding? Nobody else involved?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not religious and think it will be easier to get married at the same venue as our reception. Fiancé grew up catholic but isn’t a practicing catholic. His family and him think a church wedding is more appropriate, but I feel it’s weird to get married in a church when I’m not religious. I feel like it’s making a mockery of the religion. Should I give in because it’s not that important to me?

No I would have the wedding you want. They had their wedding now you have yours.

I guess OP can marry herself then b/c the title is "Fiance wants a church wedding" and last I checked a wedding is between two people. The two people involved here do not agree.

The title is not accurate because in a follow up post she says:

“OP here. He wants to appease his family and get married in a church like almost all of his family.”

So really the title should be “Fiancé wants a church wedding to appease his family even though his bride to be doesn’t want to get married in the church.”

They’re talking about lying to a priest that they intend to raise their kids Catholic. I share OP’s concerns that the vibes are off on getting married under false pretenses.

So, the fiancé wants a Catholic wedding for reason: x,y, z. Same difference. They are not on the same page.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes Op, you should give in because it's not that important to you

It’s her wedding. Of course it’s important to her. She doesn’t like the idea of separate venues and wants to get married at the venue they have booked. She doesn’t want to lie to a priest about how she will raise her kids. She wouldn’t have posted here if this issue wasn’t important to her.

There is no reason religion should be considered more important than the desire to have a non-religious wedding.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not Catholic but I can't imagine lying about being Catholic to get someone from the religion to perform my wedding ceremony and let me marry in their church, how does that feel right?