Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 21:24     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
As a CRNA without student debt you should be able to do the kids / part time schedule while still keeping your clinical skills sharp.

Who knows - you may find that 6-12mo is enough and then increase shifts especially if you’ve found a great daycare.

The $80k he makes now will eat you alive and make for vulnerability surrounded by Doctors and their Mercedes. Meaning you’ll be in an environment where it’ll be hard to compete / obvious that you’re the breadwinner. This will weigh on your mental health and emotional stability as a couple.

The crux of the CRNA. Just relocate to Manhattan KS or in a dual practice state where your impressive income can provide everything and anything all while he is able to make a geographically adjusted $80k “forever”
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 21:22     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not looking for a meal ticket.

Age: I’m 29 and he’s 30.

Salary: I make base of $180k but can go up to $230k if I work OT. He makes $80k and his salary will not increase.

Outlook: I’m not sure if I would ever stay home but I want the option to take a couple of years off to raise my kids while they’re young.

I grew up in a large family where we didn’t have a lot of extra money. My dad was the sole provider while my mom took care of us. We couldn’t partake in after programs or extra curricular activities because we didn’t have the expendable income to cover it. I had to work 60 hour weeks and delay college so that I could save up and not take out so many student loans. I didn’t finish my degrees until 23 and 27 because of it.

I want to provide my kids with the opportunities I didn’t have. I want them to be able to partake in any activities they want, go on a family vacation, and pay for their college.

I’ve only ever dated men that have matched my salary or made more. It’s a new territory for me.


This problem will work itself out. You're only six years away from a geriatric pregnancy. It doesn't seem likely that you'll find someone that checks all of your boxes before then.


yep - op posts like she's 21-25


She should think about why she's single at nearly 30.


OP here. I’ve gone through tragedy in my life. Dealt with an ex who ended up with an addiction and spent the last 2 years in therapy after a violent SA by an acquaintance.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 21:21     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:Am I that out of touch for thinking that making $80k at 30 is doing pretty well? I’m 50+ and just cracked $100k this year.



OP here. His salary is above average - most men make $40k-year. I know men making $100k+ is a small percentage, but I want that if possible.

I don’t expect a man to match my salary or make a ridiculous amount. I do hope to marry a man who will make $100-150k. If this was 5 years ago, I would think $80k was good, but you can’t raise a family comfortably on $80k anymore.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 21:18     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:Yeah, and women aren't gold diggers...OP will happily marriage a POS man who's rich. But dump a great guy who happens not to be rich.

This is why so many women are unhappy. You're still stupid enough to think money does buy happiness. It doesn't after a few years.


OP here. I don’t date men who are jerks and who don’t treat me with respect.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 21:18     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What do you do that you make 180 at 29?


OP here. I’m a CRNA.


Someone here called it.

Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 21:18     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
I'm not a grammar nut, but OP needs to work on theirs.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 21:17     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:What happens if you can’t have kids?


OP here. I don’t think that would be an issue. I froze my eggs last year. I’m also open to adopting if I can’t have kids.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 21:15     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:What do you do that you make 180 at 29?


OP here. I’m a CRNA.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 21:13     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not looking for a meal ticket.

Age: I’m 29 and he’s 30.

Salary: I make base of $180k but can go up to $230k if I work OT. He makes $80k and his salary will not increase.

Outlook: I’m not sure if I would ever stay home but I want the option to take a couple of years off to raise my kids while they’re young.

I grew up in a large family where we didn’t have a lot of extra money. My dad was the sole provider while my mom took care of us. We couldn’t partake in after programs or extra curricular activities because we didn’t have the expendable income to cover it. I had to work 60 hour weeks and delay college so that I could save up and not take out so many student loans. I didn’t finish my degrees until 23 and 27 because of it.

I want to provide my kids with the opportunities I didn’t have. I want them to be able to partake in any activities they want, go on a family vacation, and pay for their college.

I’ve only ever dated men that have matched my salary or made more. It’s a new territory for me.


This problem will work itself out. You're only six years away from a geriatric pregnancy. It doesn't seem likely that you'll find someone that checks all of your boxes before then.


yep - op posts like she's 21-25


She should think about why she's single at nearly 30.


GMAFB. 30 is young.


Not if she wants kids. She's only got 6 years left.


Um, what? I hadn’t even met my dh at 36. Got married at 38, had two kids at 41 and 44. I won’t say it was easy, but op has more than six years left to have children.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 20:49     Subject: Re:Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
It's always about money with women.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 20:46     Subject: Re:Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
OP, maybe the guy can find another career and become a good provider?

I became a SAHM when I had DC2. DH was making good money by then. It was fantastic to be able to stay home with the kids when they were little and not worry about money or have a DH who became resentful when he had to be the sole provider.

Am I riding the gravy train? Is DH my meal ticket? Maybe yes.

But - did DH gets a college educated wife from an intact and functional UMC family to be the mother of his children and SAH? Did he get a good looking wife? Did he get a functional and well running household and does not have to worry about our kids wellbeing and education AND our family and social obligations? Does he have a lot of leisure time? Does he get a lot of career help from my connected family? Maybe yes.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 20:44     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:This is not your ideal man. Move on. I think you're sad, OP and I'm curious why at nearly 30 you think you have a chance to land the high earning provider guy of your dreams. If you have met him and started dating by 30 your chances are very low. Those provider types want younger baby makers.


This. No one who would be OK with a SAHM is going to want the OP's shriveled ovaries.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 20:40     Subject: Re:Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Let him go.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 20:39     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:Is this the obnoxious CRNA OP who can never find someone to check all her boxes?



Yes
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 20:37     Subject: Perfect guy but he makes less money than me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not looking for a meal ticket.

Age: I’m 29 and he’s 30.

Salary: I make base of $180k but can go up to $230k if I work OT. He makes $80k and his salary will not increase.

Outlook: I’m not sure if I would ever stay home but I want the option to take a couple of years off to raise my kids while they’re young.

I grew up in a large family where we didn’t have a lot of extra money. My dad was the sole provider while my mom took care of us. We couldn’t partake in after programs or extra curricular activities because we didn’t have the expendable income to cover it. I had to work 60 hour weeks and delay college so that I could save up and not take out so many student loans. I didn’t finish my degrees until 23 and 27 because of it.

I want to provide my kids with the opportunities I didn’t have. I want them to be able to partake in any activities they want, go on a family vacation, and pay for their college.

I’ve only ever dated men that have matched my salary or made more. It’s a new territory for me.


This problem will work itself out. You're only six years away from a geriatric pregnancy. It doesn't seem likely that you'll find someone that checks all of your boxes before then.


yep - op posts like she's 21-25


She should think about why she's single at nearly 30.


GMAFB. 30 is young.


Not if she wants kids. She's only got 6 years left.