Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only judge the women who have those big, honkin’ rocks on their fingers. Too showy for me.

Ok, so then maybe you're being smug because you think you're so cool that you don't need a big ring to show off.

Or maybe you're actually jealous because you want one. Be real with yourself here. It's anonymous.

DP - I judge the women who get moissanite or CZ giant honkers. They can't afford the price of a 4ct diamond but want people to think they can, so they get the fake one.

That said, I'd take a 4ct real diamond in a heartbeat! Get your sunglasses ready because I'd be blinding everyone

You're being smug here though. I'm not trying to be mean, I just think you're saying that these women are tacky and you're better than that (or you're rich enough to have a huge ring so you don't need a fake one).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only judge the women who have those big, honkin’ rocks on their fingers. Too showy for me.

Ok, so then maybe you're being smug because you think you're so cool that you don't need a big ring to show off.

Or maybe you're actually jealous because you want one. Be real with yourself here. It's anonymous.

DP - I judge the women who get moissanite or CZ giant honkers. They can't afford the price of a 4ct diamond but want people to think they can, so they get the fake one.

That said, I'd take a 4ct real diamond in a heartbeat! Get your sunglasses ready because I'd be blinding everyone

Sounds like you are 100% one who calls other women jealous if they dont like you

Anonymous wrote:

I'm not sure why you are so triggered by my comment.

When you write, "You are so triggered," you try to discount my words by using the term "triggered" in a clinical sense, such as when TV shows have trigger warnings to let viewers know that the show contains sensitive content. Men have accused women of doing this forever (e.g., my joke about blonds triggered her, and she went off the rails.) Do better.

I don't like putting women in boxes, like OPs mom did. I dont like a knee jerk reaction that if a woman says something negative that it stems from jealousy.

I do not like putting people into boxes. Try to be more inclusive.

Wimp/nerd/geek are definitely not exclusively used for men. I've even been called a nerd/geek because I liked reading growing up

Really? Have you ever been in a physical fight because someone called you a nerd? Plenty of men have because the term is used to emasculate. Sadly, you are using a trite example to mask the use of a hurtful term.

I dont have middle school kids, but slightly older. They are all about being a "girls girl" and building up their female counterparts.

That's good to hear. I have three daughters, all three of whom have graduated from college and entered the workforce.

I also dont think that when women judge appearance it's often jealousy. Perhaps you hang out with a very jealous crew, but people judge for all sorts of reasons. Boiling down any negative comment to jealousy is lazy and petty. Humans are rounded individuals full of emotions and feelings. Far more than just jealousy.

Again, your writing is trite. Of course, humans have more emotions than jealousy, but this fact does not support your position that women do not judge other women's appearance jealously. Be honest. Have you ever said something about another woman's appearance to your friends to demean her (e.g., I cannot believe she wore a top that tight)? Of course, you have.

Anonymous wrote:I judge women who don't keep up their appearance then cry that their husbands are disinterested or cheating. I empathize that we're all very busy and men shouldn't be so shallow but... Men are visual creatures - the solution is simple. You won't catch me at the grocery store looking disheveled, fat, or unmoisturized.

Anonymous wrote:

I'm not sure why you are so triggered by my comment.

When you write, "You are so triggered," you try to discount my words by using the term "triggered" in a clinical sense, such as when TV shows have trigger warnings to let viewers know that the show contains sensitive content. Men have accused women of doing this forever (e.g., my joke about blonds triggered her, and she went off the rails.) Do better.

I don't like putting women in boxes, like OPs mom did. I dont like a knee jerk reaction that if a woman says something negative that it stems from jealousy.

I do not like putting people into boxes. Try to be more inclusive.

Wimp/nerd/geek are definitely not exclusively used for men. I've even been called a nerd/geek because I liked reading growing up

Really? Have you ever been in a physical fight because someone called you a nerd? Plenty of men have because the term is used to emasculate. Sadly, you are using a trite example to mask the use of a hurtful term.

I dont have middle school kids, but slightly older. They are all about being a "girls girl" and building up their female counterparts.

That's good to hear. I have three daughters, all three of whom have graduated from college and entered the workforce.

I also dont think that when women judge appearance it's often jealousy. Perhaps you hang out with a very jealous crew, but people judge for all sorts of reasons. Boiling down any negative comment to jealousy is lazy and petty. Humans are rounded individuals full of emotions and feelings. Far more than just jealousy.

Again, your writing is trite. Of course, humans have more emotions than jealousy, but this fact does not support your position that women do not judge other women's appearance jealously. Be honest. Have you ever said something about another woman's appearance to your friends to demean her (e.g., I cannot believe she wore a top that tight)? Of course, you have.

Anonymous wrote:I am going to assume your mom and aunt meant judging on superficial stuff particularly related to status, not racism. With that backdrop, I think your mom is right. Except a smug judging person is insecure. So there is only one category: insecure.

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s generally true, OP. Sometimes I read the “snark” threads of various social media influencers/bloggers/etc. and it’s all BARELY concealed jealousy. Disguised as the usual, omg she has this huge house and it’s all beige, she’s an over consumer, this that and the other thing.

Anonymous wrote:

How many times have you heard "Ugh I can't believe she said that. She's just jealous!!!" Not all women are jealous and "catty" (a term almost exclusively used for women). There is a trend to discount things women say because theyre just jealous, trying to pit women against each other.

Not all women are jealous and catty all (or most) of the time. However, every woman is sometimes jealous or catty (or both). You seem bothered by the fact that the term "catty" is almost exclusively used for women. However, are you bothered by the fact that terms like "wimp," "nerd," and "geek" are used exclusively for men?

There has been a big push in the younger generations to discard this and support other women.

Bullshit. Do you have daughters in middle school? Young women are still doing the same things to each other that their mothers did 30 years ago and their mothers did 30 years before that.

Yeah, you may not like everyone, but just because you dislike someone it shouldn't automatically be assumed its because youre jealous. Which is what OPs mom is trying to say (or smug), which I disagree with. I'm not saying anything about how harshly women judge other women or comparing their judgement to men, only the automatic assumption it's because its based on jealousy.

Enlighten me. When a woman unfavorably judges another woman's appearance (something I have heard my entire life, from grade school to retirement parties), how often is it not motivated by jealousy? Answer: seldom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only judge the women who have those big, honkin’ rocks on their fingers. Too showy for me.

Ok, so then maybe you're being smug because you think you're so cool that you don't need a big ring to show off.

Or maybe you're actually jealous because you want one. Be real with yourself here. It's anonymous.

Anonymous wrote:You say your aunt asked in a polite way, but it sounds like she was being unkind. Just because she felt judged back in the day doesn’t mean she should ask you if you feel judged. Your mom said something simplistic, but she was right to shut down that line of questioning from your aunt. Don’t give it another thought.

I'm not sure why you are so triggered by my comment.

I don't like putting women in boxes, like OPs mom did. I dont like a knee jerk reaction that if a woman says something negative that it stems from jealousy.

Wimp/nerd/geek are definitely not exclusively used for men. I've even been called a nerd/geek because I liked reading growing up

I dont have middle school kids, but slightly older. They are all about being a "girls girl" and building up their female counterparts.

I also dont think that when women judge appearance it's often jealousy. Perhaps you hang out with a very jealous crew, but people judge for all sorts of reasons. Boiling down any negative comment to jealousy is lazy and petty. Humans are rounded individuals full of emotions and feelings. Far more than just jealousy.

Anonymous wrote:I only judge the women who have those big, honkin’ rocks on their fingers. Too showy for me.

Anonymous wrote:

How many times have you heard "Ugh I can't believe she said that. She's just jealous!!!" Not all women are jealous and "catty" (a term almost exclusively used for women). There is a trend to discount things women say because theyre just jealous, trying to pit women against each other.

Not all women are jealous and catty all (or most) of the time. However, every woman is sometimes jealous or catty (or both). You seem bothered by the fact that the term "catty" is almost exclusively used for women. However, are you bothered by the fact that terms like "wimp," "nerd," and "geek" are used exclusively for men?

There has been a big push in the younger generations to discard this and support other women.

Bullshit. Do you have daughters in middle school? Young women are still doing the same things to each other that their mothers did 30 years ago and their mothers did 30 years before that.

Yeah, you may not like everyone, but just because you dislike someone it shouldn't automatically be assumed its because youre jealous. Which is what OPs mom is trying to say (or smug), which I disagree with. I'm not saying anything about how harshly women judge other women or comparing their judgement to men, only the automatic assumption it's because its based on jealousy.

Enlighten me. When a woman unfavorably judges another woman's appearance (something I have heard my entire life, from grade school to retirement parties), how often is it not motivated by jealousy? Answer: seldom.