Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 16:02     Subject: Acquaintance keeps finding ways to tell me her DH doesn’t really like me
Anonymous wrote:Not sure if this is the right forum. There is a woman that I know from my kid’s school and who I see at soccer practices and other social events. Not really a friend but we have a number of mutual friends.

She’s nice enough to me but literally every time we talk, she finds a way to tell me her husband has some kind of issue with me. Really strange things, like “he’s not sure what to think of you since you mentioned you really like such and such a music genre” or “he knew you’d be at XYZ event and actually mentioned he was going to avoid it” and then abruptly change the topic.

It’s SO bizarre. The guy himself is fine, nothing antsy or rude or weird, he’s very friendly if anything.

Not sure if she ever does this to other women, if she does I haven’t seen it. I feel like saying something to call her on it but idk what I’m really dealing with here. On my end there’s no problem, but he or they seem to really have some issue with me.


SHE doesn't like you.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 15:37     Subject: Acquaintance keeps finding ways to tell me her DH doesn’t really like me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here and I’m just back to report that it’s become pretty comical at this point but I have busted this acquaintance’s MO. Over the past few months she has continued to make remarks about how much her husband disagrees with something I’ve said, somewhere I’m going, some opinion I hold or this or that or the other. But the other day, following one of her “Oh my DH really dislikes this thing you’re really into or knowledgeable about,” he shared with me a few days later how totally excited he was to be doing this very thing. At that moment it became very clear what’s been going on and I’m never second guessing myself ever again about it. I’m not the one who has been being weird or off putting at all.

She did it again just a couple days ago and just smiled and raised my eyebrows. I can’t be sure on the why of it all, but now I have my suspicions.

Anyway ladies, other women can be weird. You do you and ignore the weirdos.


You should invite her husband to do the "hobby" together - you know as neighbor friends. Her head will spin off.


+1
Since he doesnt like you anyway... it should bother her! It can be your opportunity to get him to stop hating you, lol. At least that can be your rational if she gets mad
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 15:35     Subject: Acquaintance keeps finding ways to tell me her DH doesn’t really like me
Shes threatened by you. maybe her DH has a crush and she can tell
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 15:33     Subject: Acquaintance keeps finding ways to tell me her DH doesn’t really like me
Anonymous wrote:OP here and I’m just back to report that it’s become pretty comical at this point but I have busted this acquaintance’s MO. Over the past few months she has continued to make remarks about how much her husband disagrees with something I’ve said, somewhere I’m going, some opinion I hold or this or that or the other. But the other day, following one of her “Oh my DH really dislikes this thing you’re really into or knowledgeable about,” he shared with me a few days later how totally excited he was to be doing this very thing. At that moment it became very clear what’s been going on and I’m never second guessing myself ever again about it. I’m not the one who has been being weird or off putting at all.

She did it again just a couple days ago and just smiled and raised my eyebrows. I can’t be sure on the why of it all, but now I have my suspicions.

Anyway ladies, other women can be weird. You do you and ignore the weirdos.


You should invite her husband to do the "hobby" together - you know as neighbor friends. Her head will spin off.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 14:54     Subject: Acquaintance keeps finding ways to tell me her DH doesn’t really like me
OP here and I’m just back to report that it’s become pretty comical at this point but I have busted this acquaintance’s MO. Over the past few months she has continued to make remarks about how much her husband disagrees with something I’ve said, somewhere I’m going, some opinion I hold or this or that or the other. But the other day, following one of her “Oh my DH really dislikes this thing you’re really into or knowledgeable about,” he shared with me a few days later how totally excited he was to be doing this very thing. At that moment it became very clear what’s been going on and I’m never second guessing myself ever again about it. I’m not the one who has been being weird or off putting at all.

She did it again just a couple days ago and just smiled and raised my eyebrows. I can’t be sure on the why of it all, but now I have my suspicions.

Anyway ladies, other women can be weird. You do you and ignore the weirdos.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 00:04     Subject: Acquaintance keeps finding ways to tell me her DH doesn’t really like me
I think she’s just…weird. Some people are just strange.

I would not confront - you said she’s just an acquaintance, so who cares what she or her husband think. Not worth trying to unravel her/their dysfunction. I would just avoid, & if you get stuck with her, laugh it off & say “oh, Derek is so funny!” & gee away as soon as possible. Who cares what she or her husband talk about, no one is interested.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2024 23:02     Subject: Acquaintance keeps finding ways to tell me her DH doesn’t really like me
There is a mom that is an acquaintance who is sort of weird that way to me. She is late 40s and pretty unattractive in the face, and has no style, always dressed plainer than plain, or in outdated looks (think skinny jeans and riding boots with a sweater that looks straight out of 2010) though she is skinny, which many consider attractive. Her husband is a decade younger, and while I don’t particularly find him attractive, objectively, I can admit he’s decent looking and reasonably fit. He works in sales and has a chatty, alpha male sales type personality. She is a quiet mouse.

She thinks that everyone is always flirting with her husband and constantly makes snide remarks about these other mothers at school. I realized that those are all the women her husband chats up the most and she’s insecure about it.

I bet this woman is similar OP.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2024 23:00     Subject: Acquaintance keeps finding ways to tell me her DH doesn’t really like me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
In my 30s, I'd have felt bad. Now I'm in my 40s, I would take malicious pleasure in drawing her out and making her explain herself and seeing what sort of nonsense comes out...


I'm a lot older than you and this is the tack I would take also.

The first time she did this, she'd get the side eye. The second time she did this, I'd stare at her wide eyed. The third time, I'd start having fun with her.


I’m in my thirties but more mature than you. I would understand that something is wrong with this woman and would politely end the conversation and leave.


Not more mature. More boring (not PP, by the way).


+1. You can either have fun with it or live in the same world with the same amount of @ssholes and less fun. Easy choice.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2024 22:48     Subject: Acquaintance keeps finding ways to tell me her DH doesn’t really like me
"That's really none of my business"

I had a friend who HAD to tell me about little comments her husband made where the theme was that I was hot to trot/I liked dick/I was a swinger/etc. I'm happily married, not banging other people or talking about banging other people and I like my hubby's dick.

It was really weird and I started to say "and you are ok with him saying these things?" and she'd sort of smile and shrug. It started to dawn on me how quiet her husband actually was when we saw him socially- so if he was getting any read on me, it was coming from her- if he was even saying these things at all. I finally just started saying "well-it's your marriage- if you don't mind him saying dirty things about me- but you should keep it to yourself". She finally stopped but I really think it was coming from her- not him. I think the same in your situation.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2024 20:51     Subject: Acquaintance keeps finding ways to tell me her DH doesn’t really like me
Anonymous wrote:I would say

I am confused and don't understand what you mean

Make her clarify


Yep.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2024 20:28     Subject: Acquaintance keeps finding ways to tell me her DH doesn’t really like me
Anonymous wrote:Omg I once knew a woman who would tell me I was not invited to things. “Oh yeah, just so you know, Wendy’s memorial service is next week and the kids aren’t invited just you know, no kids are invited” or “just so you know Darla’s bridal shower is next week and it’s a really small affair and you know, just a few women are invited”. It was truly bizarre as I had 1. never tried to invite myself or kids to any event related to her and 2. didn’t know either of the event hosts and would not expect to go and 3. barely know this woman. Some people were not socialized as children and it shows!


THIS is my biggest trigger!! Being indirectly accused of something that is out of left field. That is the kind of thing that lives rent free in my head for days. Why does this lady think that of me? What did I do to make her think that?? Does she think that or am I just reading into the repeated statements that I wanted something or did something I never considered
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2024 22:57     Subject: Re:Acquaintance keeps finding ways to tell me her DH doesn’t really like me
Anonymous wrote:Tell her that's not what he says to you and then walk away


DO THIS!!!!
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2024 22:13     Subject: Acquaintance keeps finding ways to tell me her DH doesn’t really like me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:“Julia, you keep mentioning that your husband doesn’t like me. Are you trying to tell me that you don’t like me? I can’t figure out why you are being so unkind and rude.”


This is a fine response but takes a lot of courage to deliver well! Honestly I read it as - she really likes you and her husband really doesn’t and she feels weird about that.


So it’s better for this weirdo to keep saying these things?
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2024 22:04     Subject: Acquaintance keeps finding ways to tell me her DH doesn’t really like me
Most men don’t think this much about random people who they aren’t sleeping with. She has the issue.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2024 19:06     Subject: Acquaintance keeps finding ways to tell me her DH doesn’t really like me
Omg I once knew a woman who would tell me I was not invited to things. “Oh yeah, just so you know, Wendy’s memorial service is next week and the kids aren’t invited just you know, no kids are invited” or “just so you know Darla’s bridal shower is next week and it’s a really small affair and you know, just a few women are invited”. It was truly bizarre as I had 1. never tried to invite myself or kids to any event related to her and 2. didn’t know either of the event hosts and would not expect to go and 3. barely know this woman. Some people were not socialized as children and it shows!