Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP -- I haven't read all the responses, but I totally get where you're coming from. His success is not your success. You shouldn't have stopped working, but now you have to live with that. Just remember this when you're giving young women/your daughter advice.
Exactly! Just remember to let your kids know that you regret spending so much time with them (even though you had more than enough money to do so) because they’re not worth bragging about at a college reunion the way some job you didn’t need would be…
Keep telling yourself that all working mothers are terrible mothers to make yourself feel better about staying at home. I know plenty of stay at home mothers who way less competent at parenting than full-time working mothers, sometimes because they're bored, other times because they feel unfulfilled. The best mother is someone who is confident in herself, feels gratified, is a role model, and is someone her kids can be proud of. It's not about how many hours of the day are you with your kid and whether you drive them to baseball practice or they carpool with a friend. But, again, keep telling yourself that the only good mothers are stay-at-homes.
The PP didn’t say or even imply what you are attributing to her.
NP. Yes, the person did imply this. The implication is anyone who can afford it should stay home with kids as that is the preferred parenting setup. Lots of people could afford to have a parent stay at home and don't because they don't agree with this.
Also, please don't brag about your job OR your kids at a college reunion. Snore.
No it’s not what’s implied because you have messed up the order. OP already made the decision and stayed home. By definition she is saying that wasn’t as good as being able to brag to her friends about her job.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP -- I haven't read all the responses, but I totally get where you're coming from. His success is not your success. You shouldn't have stopped working, but now you have to live with that. Just remember this when you're giving young women/your daughter advice.
Exactly! Just remember to let your kids know that you regret spending so much time with them (even though you had more than enough money to do so) because they’re not worth bragging about at a college reunion the way some job you didn’t need would be…
Keep telling yourself that all working mothers are terrible mothers to make yourself feel better about staying at home. I know plenty of stay at home mothers who way less competent at parenting than full-time working mothers, sometimes because they're bored, other times because they feel unfulfilled. The best mother is someone who is confident in herself, feels gratified, is a role model, and is someone her kids can be proud of. It's not about how many hours of the day are you with your kid and whether you drive them to baseball practice or they carpool with a friend. But, again, keep telling yourself that the only good mothers are stay-at-homes.
The PP didn’t say or even imply what you are attributing to her.
NP. Yes, the person did imply this. The implication is anyone who can afford it should stay home with kids as that is the preferred parenting setup. Lots of people could afford to have a parent stay at home and don't because they don't agree with this.
Also, please don't brag about your job OR your kids at a college reunion. Snore.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP -- I haven't read all the responses, but I totally get where you're coming from. His success is not your success. You shouldn't have stopped working, but now you have to live with that. Just remember this when you're giving young women/your daughter advice.
Exactly! Just remember to let your kids know that you regret spending so much time with them (even though you had more than enough money to do so) because they’re not worth bragging about at a college reunion the way some job you didn’t need would be…
Keep telling yourself that all working mothers are terrible mothers to make yourself feel better about staying at home. I know plenty of stay at home mothers who way less competent at parenting than full-time working mothers, sometimes because they're bored, other times because they feel unfulfilled. The best mother is someone who is confident in herself, feels gratified, is a role model, and is someone her kids can be proud of. It's not about how many hours of the day are you with your kid and whether you drive them to baseball practice or they carpool with a friend. But, again, keep telling yourself that the only good mothers are stay-at-homes.
The PP didn’t say or even imply what you are attributing to her.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP -- I haven't read all the responses, but I totally get where you're coming from. His success is not your success. You shouldn't have stopped working, but now you have to live with that. Just remember this when you're giving young women/your daughter advice.
Exactly! Just remember to let your kids know that you regret spending so much time with them (even though you had more than enough money to do so) because they’re not worth bragging about at a college reunion the way some job you didn’t need would be…
Keep telling yourself that all working mothers are terrible mothers to make yourself feel better about staying at home. I know plenty of stay at home mothers who way less competent at parenting than full-time working mothers, sometimes because they're bored, other times because they feel unfulfilled. The best mother is someone who is confident in herself, feels gratified, is a role model, and is someone her kids can be proud of. It's not about how many hours of the day are you with your kid and whether you drive them to baseball practice or they carpool with a friend. But, again, keep telling yourself that the only good mothers are stay-at-homes.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP -- I haven't read all the responses, but I totally get where you're coming from. His success is not your success. You shouldn't have stopped working, but now you have to live with that. Just remember this when you're giving young women/your daughter advice.
Exactly! Just remember to let your kids know that you regret spending so much time with them (even though you had more than enough money to do so) because they’re not worth bragging about at a college reunion the way some job you didn’t need would be…
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP -- I haven't read all the responses, but I totally get where you're coming from. His success is not your success. You shouldn't have stopped working, but now you have to live with that. Just remember this when you're giving young women/your daughter advice.
Exactly! Just remember to let your kids know that you regret spending so much time with them (even though you had more than enough money to do so) because they’re not worth bragging about at a college reunion the way some job you didn’t need would be…
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just make sure you know where all the money is and how to access the accounts, and that you have access to sufficient funds to pay a very good lawyer up front should you ever are faced with your DH's idea of success has changed to include dumping the old for a new model.
This is so unnecessary, and your jealously is showing.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Lady you are living the dream. Enjoy every minute and be proud.
Woukd you say the same if the roles were reversed ?
Be honest
Anonymous wrote:And still, in the eyes of many other women, I don't measure up.
It is ultimately about this. However, by feeling we are measured up and down , we are measuring others up an down. The only way to end the cycle is to start by not judging others.
Anonymous wrote:DH and I met when we were in grad school. We were both ambitious and had demanding careers when we got married. We earned roughly the same when we had kids and over the years, I mommy tracked, moved to part time consulting and eventually became a SAHM of our three kids. DH’s career has soared and our kids are all thriving doing well in school, happy and social.
I recently didn’t go to my college reunion. It wasn’t a convenient time but more than anything, I think I’m embarrassed that I no longer work. DH is top of his field and earns a few million dollars per year. We live in a beautiful home in a highly desired area, have multiple vacation homes, etc. We live better and have more money than the majority of my old college friends. DH thinks I should be proud of my accomplishments because DH’s success is my success. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
Do you think your spouse and children’s success if your success?
Anonymous wrote:DH and I met when we were in grad school. We were both ambitious and had demanding careers when we got married. We earned roughly the same when we had kids and over the years, I mommy tracked, moved to part time consulting and eventually became a SAHM of our three kids. DH’s career has soared and our kids are all thriving doing well in school, happy and social.
I recently didn’t go to my college reunion. It wasn’t a convenient time but more than anything, I think I’m embarrassed that I no longer work. DH is top of his field and earns a few million dollars per year. We live in a beautiful home in a highly desired area, have multiple vacation homes, etc. We live better and have more money than the majority of my old college friends. DH thinks I should be proud of my accomplishments because DH’s success is my success. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
Do you think your spouse and children’s success if your success?