Anonymous
Post 04/18/2024 13:19     Subject: how many hours sleep does your child in MS get on school days?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t have a bedtime for my 14yr old. I think by that time it is time to start to self regulate. However all electronics automatically get shut off at 10pm, excluding the Kindle paperwhite. I presume my kid is asleep by 11pm. He wakes at 730. I don’t think it’s enough because I have to wake him every morning and it’s hard. I think he needs 10hrs, but i cannot force him to sleep at 930.


It doesn’t work for my 14 year old, who isn’t a middle schooler btw, but a high schooler, to have a 10pm shut off time as he needs access to his computer for homework. Unfortunately some times he has enough homework that he’s working on it past midnight. Since starting high school he’s been perpetually tired (he leaves for school at 6:35am). The homework load is extremely intense and it’s not a question of time management - he’s very good with it and very self motivated to get things done. I realized that I need to just leave it to him - he is responsible for completing his school work and he’s responsible for getting enough sleep. I can’t micromanage it at this age and keeping up with school work is too important.


Homework after midnight is crazy and if its not a time management problem I’d complain to the school or even change schools! Sleep is way more important than schoolwork, especially at this age.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2024 16:53     Subject: Re:how many hours sleep does your child in MS get on school days?
Are there any High schools around here that do not crush their students with homework? I want to send my kid to that one. Please name your high school if there is a reasonable amount of homework or your kid is not staying up past midnight. I’m talking about regular classes, not AP.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2024 16:49     Subject: how many hours sleep does your child in MS get on school days?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Up at 5:45, usually asleep by 10:00, except on one day where she has an EC that runs late, and she's in bed by 10:45. Cannot wait for HS, where the start time is a whole 40 minutes later.


That is not nearly enough sleep - even on the early nights!


I don't disagree! But, between homework, studying for tests, projects, doing everyone else's work on group projects, and her ECs, she has no more than 30 minutes of down time a day, and I am not going to take that away from her. She is quite responsible and self sufficient, and I'm good with her figuring out how to allocate her time.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2024 16:00     Subject: how many hours sleep does your child in MS get on school days?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My 6th grader is allowed to stay up later than 9:00 pm. I think 9:00 is really early for a middle schooler.


This. Honestly, the idea of a "bedtime" for a teenager is odd to me. Mine has to get up a bit before 6am and gets to sleep when he can after activities and homework and, yes, sometimes just wasting time if he has caught up on sleep over the weekend.


It is. I tell my 14 yo good night when I go to bed and then assume he goes to sleep at some point. If not, oh well, he’ll be tired the next day. He’s usually asleep between 9:30 and 10 from what he tells me but he really doesn’t have a “bedtime”.


how can you feel good about this? bc he's 14 he no longer needs parenting? ugh, this is what's wrong with this generation -- shitty parents.


Huh. NP. So my 14 year old kid gets up at 630am to be out the door by about 720am. He walks to school. Our practice is the phone goes away at 9pm (both turns off and needs to be charging downstairs) and he's expected to be in his room doing something quietly. Sometimes that's sleeping. Sometimes he's not tired and he reads a book. Sometime he re-organizes his closet or just messes around in his room. Whatever just be quiet.

I don't think a 14 year old needs a strict lights out bed time like a little kid needs and in fact, I think that's weird. Do you want someone turning out the light and making you lay there if you're not tired yet? At what age does the kid get any agency?

14 yr olds are not mature enough to understand the ramifications of not having enough sleep.

By 16 or 17, they should have a better understanding, especially if they are planning to go to college away from home. They need to start taking responsibility about their sleep. But, 14 is still too young.

- parent of 19 at college and a 15 yr old.


I love signing with the age of your kids, as if that gives you proper authority and you are laying down facts.

Sorry don't agree and a 14 year old doesn't need a strict lights out bed time like a preschooler. If you set the stage for them to make good choices, they will and they won't have to lie in the dark wide awake wondering when their overbearing parents will go away.


How do people even enforce this with a kid this age? Serious question. Do you stand outside their room and make sure they don't turn a light on?


Who are we kidding? Mommy still doesn't leave the room until they're asleep.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2024 15:44     Subject: how many hours sleep does your child in MS get on school days?
Anonymous wrote:I don’t have a bedtime for my 14yr old. I think by that time it is time to start to self regulate. However all electronics automatically get shut off at 10pm, excluding the Kindle paperwhite. I presume my kid is asleep by 11pm. He wakes at 730. I don’t think it’s enough because I have to wake him every morning and it’s hard. I think he needs 10hrs, but i cannot force him to sleep at 930.


It doesn’t work for my 14 year old, who isn’t a middle schooler btw, but a high schooler, to have a 10pm shut off time as he needs access to his computer for homework. Unfortunately some times he has enough homework that he’s working on it past midnight. Since starting high school he’s been perpetually tired (he leaves for school at 6:35am). The homework load is extremely intense and it’s not a question of time management - he’s very good with it and very self motivated to get things done. I realized that I need to just leave it to him - he is responsible for completing his school work and he’s responsible for getting enough sleep. I can’t micromanage it at this age and keeping up with school work is too important.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2024 15:36     Subject: how many hours sleep does your child in MS get on school days?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I hear the "all my friends" excuse too. Most nights, mine is in bed at 9:30 and asleep by 10:00 at the latest. She gets up at 7:15 a.m. I also think it is not enough sleep, but it is an all-out battle to get her to bed earlier than that.


private school? public middle schools around here all start at 7:30am.


No they do not. My kids school starts at 8:05am. He gets up about 7:15 too.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2024 15:29     Subject: how many hours sleep does your child in MS get on school days?
Anonymous wrote:Up at 5:45, usually asleep by 10:00, except on one day where she has an EC that runs late, and she's in bed by 10:45. Cannot wait for HS, where the start time is a whole 40 minutes later.


That is not nearly enough sleep - even on the early nights!
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2024 14:29     Subject: how many hours sleep does your child in MS get on school days?
Our 6th grader has a bedtime of 9:00pm. She is usually asleep by 9:30pm but sometimes it may be almost 10pm if she is having difficulty. She may read in bed on those nights. Her alarm goes off at 7:00am, M-F, and she is out the door walking to school by 7:40am. She complains but my response is simple: Until you get to the point where I am not having to go in your room at least once a week to wake you up because you keep hitting the snooze button, it is clear you need the sleep and so your bedtime remains 9pm.

She does sports and a few other ECs but most often is home around 5ish. The exceptions would be on days with running meets or climbing practices. We generally do not schedule such that she is bouncing from EC to EC on a school night and so there is some downtime and ability to start homework at a reasonable hour most evenings. We both primarily WFH and moved so our child could walk to and from school by herself, thus saving us on commuting and schlepping our kid too too much.

Unless there is a dance, party, and/ or sleepover on the weekend, we get her up at 9am to make sure her sleep pattern is fairly consistent throughout the week.

My partner and I are morning people (up at 5am and 630am, respectively) so we get up and get moving on the weekends. We commonly go on hikes, walks or cycle on weekends with our child, so everyone is usually tired by the time it is evening.

While we try to model the patterns we want, I totally expect we may push her bedtime back a little by the time she is in 8th grade.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2024 13:25     Subject: how many hours sleep does your child in MS get on school days?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My 6th grader is allowed to stay up later than 9:00 pm. I think 9:00 is really early for a middle schooler.


This. Honestly, the idea of a "bedtime" for a teenager is odd to me. Mine has to get up a bit before 6am and gets to sleep when he can after activities and homework and, yes, sometimes just wasting time if he has caught up on sleep over the weekend.


It is. I tell my 14 yo good night when I go to bed and then assume he goes to sleep at some point. If not, oh well, he’ll be tired the next day. He’s usually asleep between 9:30 and 10 from what he tells me but he really doesn’t have a “bedtime”.


how can you feel good about this? bc he's 14 he no longer needs parenting? ugh, this is what's wrong with this generation -- shitty parents.


Huh. NP. So my 14 year old kid gets up at 630am to be out the door by about 720am. He walks to school. Our practice is the phone goes away at 9pm (both turns off and needs to be charging downstairs) and he's expected to be in his room doing something quietly. Sometimes that's sleeping. Sometimes he's not tired and he reads a book. Sometime he re-organizes his closet or just messes around in his room. Whatever just be quiet.

I don't think a 14 year old needs a strict lights out bed time like a little kid needs and in fact, I think that's weird. Do you want someone turning out the light and making you lay there if you're not tired yet? At what age does the kid get any agency?

14 yr olds are not mature enough to understand the ramifications of not having enough sleep.

By 16 or 17, they should have a better understanding, especially if they are planning to go to college away from home. They need to start taking responsibility about their sleep. But, 14 is still too young.

- parent of 19 at college and a 15 yr old.


I love signing with the age of your kids, as if that gives you proper authority and you are laying down facts.

Sorry don't agree and a 14 year old doesn't need a strict lights out bed time like a preschooler. If you set the stage for them to make good choices, they will and they won't have to lie in the dark wide awake wondering when their overbearing parents will go away.


How do people even enforce this with a kid this age? Serious question. Do you stand outside their room and make sure they don't turn a light on?
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2024 13:25     Subject: Re:how many hours sleep does your child in MS get on school days?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The parents with athletes who are letting them get less sleep are foolish. Studies show the more sleep a kid gets, the bigger and better their potential is in success at their sport. You are stifling their physical and mental growth capacity by shortchanging their sleep during these critical years.
We protect our teens' sleep at all costs: no late dinners, parties, games/practices, certainly no socializing/being on the phone late. If your kid truly prioritizes the sport they love, they should have the sense (or parents who educate them) about how critical sleep is (among other things like nutrition).


Until they go to college

This sounds satirical but in case it’s not, can you please define “late” and how long you plan to protect your children’s sleep?


But what do you consider late? 8 pm? 10pm?
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2024 13:24     Subject: how many hours sleep does your child in MS get on school days?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My 6th grader is allowed to stay up later than 9:00 pm. I think 9:00 is really early for a middle schooler.


This. Honestly, the idea of a "bedtime" for a teenager is odd to me. Mine has to get up a bit before 6am and gets to sleep when he can after activities and homework and, yes, sometimes just wasting time if he has caught up on sleep over the weekend.


It is. I tell my 14 yo good night when I go to bed and then assume he goes to sleep at some point. If not, oh well, he’ll be tired the next day. He’s usually asleep between 9:30 and 10 from what he tells me but he really doesn’t have a “bedtime”.


how can you feel good about this? bc he's 14 he no longer needs parenting? ugh, this is what's wrong with this generation -- shitty parents.


Huh. NP. So my 14 year old kid gets up at 630am to be out the door by about 720am. He walks to school. Our practice is the phone goes away at 9pm (both turns off and needs to be charging downstairs) and he's expected to be in his room doing something quietly. Sometimes that's sleeping. Sometimes he's not tired and he reads a book. Sometime he re-organizes his closet or just messes around in his room. Whatever just be quiet.

I don't think a 14 year old needs a strict lights out bed time like a little kid needs and in fact, I think that's weird. Do you want someone turning out the light and making you lay there if you're not tired yet? At what age does the kid get any agency?

14 yr olds are not mature enough to understand the ramifications of not having enough sleep.

By 16 or 17, they should have a better understanding, especially if they are planning to go to college away from home. They need to start taking responsibility about their sleep. But, 14 is still too young.

- parent of 19 at college and a 15 yr old.


I love signing with the age of your kids, as if that gives you proper authority and you are laying down facts.

Sorry don't agree and a 14 year old doesn't need a strict lights out bed time like a preschooler. If you set the stage for them to make good choices, they will and they won't have to lie in the dark wide awake wondering when their overbearing parents will go away.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2024 13:22     Subject: how many hours sleep does your child in MS get on school days?
8th grader. Electronics downtime begins at 8 pm (except Libby, for ebooks or audiobooks). He’s asleep sometime between 9-9:30 pm and has to wake up at 6. It is not enough for him but and 8 pm bedtime is silly at this age. My almost 17 yo falls asleep 9pm on the dot, same wake up time. She is very serious with her sleeptime!
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2024 13:02     Subject: Re:how many hours sleep does your child in MS get on school days?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The parents with athletes who are letting them get less sleep are foolish. Studies show the more sleep a kid gets, the bigger and better their potential is in success at their sport. You are stifling their physical and mental growth capacity by shortchanging their sleep during these critical years.
We protect our teens' sleep at all costs: no late dinners, parties, games/practices, certainly no socializing/being on the phone late. If your kid truly prioritizes the sport they love, they should have the sense (or parents who educate them) about how critical sleep is (among other things like nutrition).


Until they go to college

This sounds satirical but in case it’s not, can you please define “late” and how long you plan to protect your children’s sleep?
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2024 12:49     Subject: how many hours sleep does your child in MS get on school days?
My 6th grader goes to bed between 8:30 and 9 but can stay up reading, which she will often do until 9:30. Her bus comes at 6:40am.

HS in our district has a 9am start, so that will be a game changer.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2024 12:46     Subject: how many hours sleep does your child in MS get on school days?
Anonymous wrote:I don’t have a bedtime for my 14yr old. I think by that time it is time to start to self regulate. However all electronics automatically get shut off at 10pm, excluding the Kindle paperwhite. I presume my kid is asleep by 11pm. He wakes at 730. I don’t think it’s enough because I have to wake him every morning and it’s hard. I think he needs 10hrs, but i cannot force him to sleep at 930.

Put an alarm clock on the other side if his room. You say you think he needs to self regulate but you still wake him up! He neeeds to get himself up, you can provide the tools but he needs to use them.