Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible that she’s trying to pull out but doesn’t want to hurt your feelings?

My guess is she doesn't care that much about OP or this "girls trip" and is looking for a subsidized beach trip with her kids that she otherwise couldn't afford.

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible that she’s trying to pull out but doesn’t want to hurt your feelings?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A long time friend and I have a beach rental reserved for 4 days over Memorial Day weekend. We planned this a few months back and I’ve been looking forward to it. She is a single mom - this rental price was a stretch for her but she really wanted this getaway and agreed to it. She has already paid me for her half. It is non refundable.

I get a text today and she says she has no sitter for the kids that weekend and will be bringing them along. Plus this sitter who backed out would’ve been watching the dog and now the dog has to come with too.

This is a smaller beach house but it will sleep 4. There are two bedrooms with two double beds and the house accepts pets but with a $150 fee (I think she will gasp at that price) Only one bathroom.

This changes everything about this trip. What was a girls getaway is now a family trip. We would’ve had our own rooms and now I will be sharing a double bed with her.

I don’t even know what to do. I haven’t text her back yet. Do we split this 4 ways now? I don’t even want to go anymore, I’m so mad.

This is not something that should be communicated or negotiated over text. She should’ve have said that her babysitting plans fell through and that she’d like to talk by phone. But she didn’t. Now it’s up to you to take this offline. Text her back:

This is a big change that we should talk over. What are some good times when you’re able to speak without distractions so that we can figure this out?

"Speak without distractions" who are you people? She has 2 kids and a dog. Just call her yourself or ask her to call you. Guaranteed a dog will be barking in the background and kids asking for stuff.

So the friend doesn’t work—doesn’t drive there or have a moment without the kids? They’re not in school and never go to sleep? This is why OP is asking the friend to name some times. It will go better for everyone if the friend is able to speak without kids and dogs interrupting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, take your kids along, too!

Can you read? It’s a two-bedroom house. That means it’s not very big.

We can tell OP doesn't have kids or none of this would have been a surprise. So she either sucks it up and goes or finds someone else and cancels on her "friend."

I go on girls trips at least once or twice a year, and none of my friends have ever pulled this crap. And yes I do have friends who are single parents. If someone ever has child care fall through, they bow out of the trip, they don’t try to make it everyone else’s problem. Yes, life happens. Stuff happens. But no, it’s not only single people who expect that if for some reason your child care falls through, that’s tough for you but the solution is not bring your kids and dogs on the trip. What a non-starter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A long time friend and I have a beach rental reserved for 4 days over Memorial Day weekend. We planned this a few months back and I’ve been looking forward to it. She is a single mom - this rental price was a stretch for her but she really wanted this getaway and agreed to it. She has already paid me for her half. It is non refundable.

I get a text today and she says she has no sitter for the kids that weekend and will be bringing them along. Plus this sitter who backed out would’ve been watching the dog and now the dog has to come with too.

This is a smaller beach house but it will sleep 4. There are two bedrooms with two double beds and the house accepts pets but with a $150 fee (I think she will gasp at that price) Only one bathroom.

This changes everything about this trip. What was a girls getaway is now a family trip. We would’ve had our own rooms and now I will be sharing a double bed with her.

I don’t even know what to do. I haven’t text her back yet. Do we split this 4 ways now? I don’t even want to go anymore, I’m so mad.

This is not something that should be communicated or negotiated over text. She should’ve have said that her babysitting plans fell through and that she’d like to talk by phone. But she didn’t. Now it’s up to you to take this offline. Text her back:

This is a big change that we should talk over. What are some good times when you’re able to speak without distractions so that we can figure this out?

"Speak without distractions" who are you people? She has 2 kids and a dog. Just call her yourself or ask her to call you. Guaranteed a dog will be barking in the background and kids asking for stuff.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A long time friend and I have a beach rental reserved for 4 days over Memorial Day weekend. We planned this a few months back and I’ve been looking forward to it. She is a single mom - this rental price was a stretch for her but she really wanted this getaway and agreed to it. She has already paid me for her half. It is non refundable.

I get a text today and she says she has no sitter for the kids that weekend and will be bringing them along. Plus this sitter who backed out would’ve been watching the dog and now the dog has to come with too.

This is a smaller beach house but it will sleep 4. There are two bedrooms with two double beds and the house accepts pets but with a $150 fee (I think she will gasp at that price) Only one bathroom.

This changes everything about this trip. What was a girls getaway is now a family trip. We would’ve had our own rooms and now I will be sharing a double bed with her.

I don’t even know what to do. I haven’t text her back yet. Do we split this 4 ways now? I don’t even want to go anymore, I’m so mad.

This is not something that should be communicated or negotiated over text. She should’ve have said that her babysitting plans fell through and that she’d like to talk by phone. But she didn’t. Now it’s up to you to take this offline. Text her back:

This is a big change that we should talk over. What are some good times when you’re able to speak without distractions so that we can figure this out?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, take your kids along, too!

Can you read? It’s a two-bedroom house. That means it’s not very big.

We can tell OP doesn't have kids or none of this would have been a surprise. So she either sucks it up and goes or finds someone else and cancels on her "friend."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A long time friend and I have a beach rental reserved for 4 days over Memorial Day weekend. We planned this a few months back and I’ve been looking forward to it. She is a single mom - this rental price was a stretch for her but she really wanted this getaway and agreed to it. She has already paid me for her half. It is non refundable.

I get a text today and she says she has no sitter for the kids that weekend and will be bringing them along. Plus this sitter who backed out would’ve been watching the dog and now the dog has to come with too.

This is a smaller beach house but it will sleep 4. There are two bedrooms with two double beds and the house accepts pets but with a $150 fee (I think she will gasp at that price) Only one bathroom.

This changes everything about this trip. What was a girls getaway is now a family trip. We would’ve had our own rooms and now I will be sharing a double bed with her.

I don’t even know what to do. I haven’t text her back yet. Do we split this 4 ways now? I don’t even want to go anymore, I’m so mad.

This is not something that should be communicated or negotiated over text. She should’ve have said that her babysitting plans fell through and that she’d like to talk by phone. But she didn’t. Now it’s up to you to take this offline. Text her back:

This is a big change that we should talk over. What are some good times when you’re able to speak without distractions so that we can figure this out?

Anonymous wrote:Ahhh this is hard. I feel sorry for your single friend of course, but if I were in her situation I wouldn’t just say “I have to bring my kids and dog now” I would say “I’m so sorry, I know this changes the trip. We could still come and I can share a room with my kids or I can back out, what do you think is best for you?”

But the fact that she changed and told you instead of asking you tells me a lot of how the trip will go.

I would say that you need a kid free weekend and you can either buy her out of the rental or she could buy YOU out of the rental, but no I wouldn’t go with her kids and dog. I love kids (I’m a teacher) and I still don’t want to vacation with someone else’s kids when I wasn’t planning to.

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Is this now the usual relationship between old, close friends? These posts make me so sad. The normal response should be something like... "oh no, i'm so sorry you're stuck with bringing the kids and dog. don't worry, we can still have lots of fun. i'll bring a few more bottles of wine and grab some of the good tequila at liquor store. do you have any air mattresses? if not, i can bring mine. the kids can sleep in the living room. have your kids ever played taco/goat/cheese/pizza? i'll bring a set!"

Yes, it is frustrating and disappointing. But you should make the best of it in support of your good, close friend. Because that is what good, close friends do for one another.

Anonymous wrote:A long time friend and I have a beach rental reserved for 4 days over Memorial Day weekend. We planned this a few months back and I’ve been looking forward to it. She is a single mom - this rental price was a stretch for her but she really wanted this getaway and agreed to it. She has already paid me for her half. It is non refundable.

I get a text today and she says she has no sitter for the kids that weekend and will be bringing them along. Plus this sitter who backed out would’ve been watching the dog and now the dog has to come with too.

This is a smaller beach house but it will sleep 4. There are two bedrooms with two double beds and the house accepts pets but with a $150 fee (I think she will gasp at that price) Only one bathroom.

This changes everything about this trip. What was a girls getaway is now a family trip. We would’ve had our own rooms and now I will be sharing a double bed with her.

I don’t even know what to do. I haven’t text her back yet. Do we split this 4 ways now? I don’t even want to go anymore, I’m so mad.