Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask him to give up porn for good.

And read https://www.reddit.com/r/HL_Women_Only

Why don't you try to look like the porn women he is looking at?

My DH likes the “mature” category in porn- old ladies! I am not an old lady!

Can’t you buy old women dresses and a wig.

Anonymous wrote:Btdt. Haven't had sex in over a decade. He has never been able to explain it and it is none of the obvious things (AP, illness, loss of attraction, etc).

Here too. He IS perpetually stressed out, but never does anything to mitigate it. I’d love to get counseling for us both. He’s not really open to the idea. I’m not financially comfortable enough to separate. Neither of us are poly. That would require much better communication and emotional honesty/vulnerability.


I'm genuinely at a loss as what to do. It’s starting to wear me down. The first few years it felt like rejection, now it’s more like an unwillingness to grow together. He is a good person, very isolated. I wish he could find some happiness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask him to give up porn for good.

And read https://www.reddit.com/r/HL_Women_Only

Why don't you try to look like the porn women he is looking at?

My DH likes the “mature” category in porn- old ladies! I am not an old lady!

Anonymous wrote:Ask him to give up porn for good.

And read https://www.reddit.com/r/HL_Women_Only

Why don't you try to look like the porn women he is looking at?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a woman whose DH was like this, couples therapy was the only way out. He had a lot of resentment of me, justified and unjustified. Now we are intimate several times a week again.

Dcum needs a heart button for posts like this.

How long did it take to turn around?

And the other thing WAS porn, it was killing his desire for real sex and he had to stop it completely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a woman whose DH was like this, couples therapy was the only way out. He had a lot of resentment of me, justified and unjustified. Now we are intimate several times a week again.

Dcum needs a heart button for posts like this.

How long did it take to turn around?

A few months and we are still working on it.

I think sometimes what the higher libido partner has trouble with is that we have to make sex enjoyable for the other person in the way that THEY find enjoyable, especially if you want sex more frequently than they do. That power differential is uncomfortable. My husband basically wants to lie there and enjoy himself first, then take care of me, and he wants absolutely no deviation from that routine or everything falls apart for him and he can’t perform, especially at his age. I’ve come to accept this because I want sex nearly daily and I still like it.

Its all the porn!!!

And its very hard for men to recover from it.

Anonymous wrote:These posts from incels posing as distressed, sexless women are tedious. Men will bang anyone - attractive, unattractive, young, old, single, married, none of it matters. A N Y O N E. All they have to be is available, and for the male criminal element, even that is negotiable. There is no secret society of DWs who can’t get their husbands to put out no matter how hard they try. Full stop.

Go back and finish your homework. You sound like a middle schooler. Your view is called toxic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man. I haven't touched my spouse in months. It's connected to how they treat me and take me for granted and tell me everything I've accomplished means nothing to them. Consider that the words you're using with your spouse. If you're using belitting words or affirming words.

I could have written this.

I’m a woman. I could’ve written this (except for the part about how I haven’t touched him in months because I’m not passive aggressive and entitled).