Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[url]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll bite. I grew up well off and most of my friends receive money from parents in one way or another. My husband and I both have well off parents. We received a down payment for our pretty average, not new construction home as a gift. HHI is around 450k and we get a 30k annual gift. Other than that - which is huge- we dont have a trust or know anything about inheritance. We watch our money very carefully, max out retirement, and live in an average house. We send our kids to private school and want a third child, so we’re carrying the lions share of our lifestyle expenses, which we need to work to do. I think our parents intended for it to be this way- if we need help for something legitimate, they’re there, but otherwise, the gifts are a head start and not intended to have us living beyond our means.

Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

This is what we plan to do (once GK arrive, and if our kids want them to attend private schools). We will help fund anything educational for our kids and grandkids---best use of $$$ IMO.

That’s very generous of you. I think helping with private school or college fund is extremely beneficial for everyone involved. Better use of money than a trust at 25. I’ve seen this go wrong many times (drug use).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not close enough to many of our friends to ask this question, but I do have one very close friend who doesn't work, her husband barely works, and I know for a fact she has a very, very substantial trust (like beautiful primary home, kids in private, house in Nantucket, etc.)

What has shocked me most is just how many people have grandparents that pay for private school, either through a trust or just flat out. When two government lawyers have 3 kids at Sidwell you know that money is coming from somewhere else...

Yes, and it’s a very big gift. 180k post taxes annually as “help” is a huge leg up to save for the rest of life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Old money whispers while new money shouts.

I don’t find this to be true at all. Most of the old money families drive flashier cars, wear designer labels and have much more outward displays of wealth, like knocking down their house and rebuilding. The “new” money (career wealth) might if they could afford it but in expensive areas doctor salaries don’t justify $5000 handbags. More like an electric minivan and college savings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[url]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll bite. I grew up well off and most of my friends receive money from parents in one way or another. My husband and I both have well off parents. We received a down payment for our pretty average, not new construction home as a gift. HHI is around 450k and we get a 30k annual gift. Other than that - which is huge- we dont have a trust or know anything about inheritance. We watch our money very carefully, max out retirement, and live in an average house. We send our kids to private school and want a third child, so we’re carrying the lions share of our lifestyle expenses, which we need to work to do. I think our parents intended for it to be this way- if we need help for something legitimate, they’re there, but otherwise, the gifts are a head start and not intended to have us living beyond our means.

Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

This is what we plan to do (once GK arrive, and if our kids want them to attend private schools). We will help fund anything educational for our kids and grandkids---best use of $$$ IMO.

Anonymous wrote:I am not close enough to many of our friends to ask this question, but I do have one very close friend who doesn't work, her husband barely works, and I know for a fact she has a very, very substantial trust (like beautiful primary home, kids in private, house in Nantucket, etc.)

What has shocked me most is just how many people have grandparents that pay for private school, either through a trust or just flat out. When two government lawyers have 3 kids at Sidwell you know that money is coming from somewhere else...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s an anonymous forum after all. Isn’t this the place to ask questions like this. I told the attitude from a lot of people with trust funds and family money is it’s crass to talk about it but again, it’s an anonymous forum. What does it really matter. Seems like a good place to be honest.

NP
I have never heard this from someone directly but there are many people who had a neighbor/friend/relative tell me that person had a trust fund. I wonder if they know EVERYONE knows because one or their friends is a big mouth. It's also possible that it's not even the case and just assumed gossip.

I think it’s just obvious in some cases. 3 kids in private school, second home, husband is a civil engineer and they live in a 3m house and drive an escalade/bmw. You need a very large salary to carry this lifestyle. We have a $500k family income and live a fairly normal life with kids in public school, just happens to be a great neighborhood but totally normal house that would be $400k anywhere else.

Lots of people like this in Chevy Chase. Expensive starter home that was either renovated or used to cash up to a bigger house. Club membership. Family vacation homes. Multiple young kids who will be lifers in private school. SAHM or mom who works very part time. Maybe some household help like a part-time sitter and weekly house cleaner. Dad is an attorney or some other job that makes good money, but not the kind of money for these expenses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s an anonymous forum after all. Isn’t this the place to ask questions like this. I told the attitude from a lot of people with trust funds and family money is it’s crass to talk about it but again, it’s an anonymous forum. What does it really matter. Seems like a good place to be honest.

NP
I have never heard this from someone directly but there are many people who had a neighbor/friend/relative tell me that person had a trust fund. I wonder if they know EVERYONE knows because one or their friends is a big mouth. It's also possible that it's not even the case and just assumed gossip.

I think it’s just obvious in some cases. 3 kids in private school, second home, husband is a civil engineer and they live in a 3m house and drive an escalade/bmw. You need a very large salary to carry this lifestyle. We have a $500k family income and live a fairly normal life with kids in public school, just happens to be a great neighborhood but totally normal house that would be $400k anywhere else.

Lots of people like this in Chevy Chase. Expensive starter home that was either renovated or used to cash up to a bigger house. Club membership. Family vacation homes. Multiple young kids who will be lifers in private school. SAHM or mom who works very part time. Maybe some household help like a part-time sitter and weekly house cleaner. Dad is an attorney or some other job that makes good money, but not the kind of money for these expenses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s an anonymous forum after all. Isn’t this the place to ask questions like this. I told the attitude from a lot of people with trust funds and family money is it’s crass to talk about it but again, it’s an anonymous forum. What does it really matter. Seems like a good place to be honest.

NP
I have never heard this from someone directly but there are many people who had a neighbor/friend/relative tell me that person had a trust fund. I wonder if they know EVERYONE knows because one or their friends is a big mouth. It's also possible that it's not even the case and just assumed gossip.

I think it’s just obvious in some cases. 3 kids in private school, second home, husband is a civil engineer and they live in a 3m house and drive an escalade/bmw. You need a very large salary to carry this lifestyle. We have a $500k family income and live a fairly normal life with kids in public school, just happens to be a great neighborhood but totally normal house that would be $400k anywhere else.

None of this says trust fund to me. It says high income for a long time plus some inheritance. Engineers can do well. If you said all this plus “artist” then I would say maybe.

Anonymous wrote:I had a trust fund for a bit, but my parent decided to empty it before he died, giving the money directly to me and silbing. We now have inherited an add’l $1m in retirement accounts. I know you all are talking about double digit millions, we were no where close to that, but still it’s been huge for us. We two nonprofit workers earning less than $300k. Lm

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

This can be for tax reasons. We can very easily afford private school, but the grandparents pay because payments for education don't count towards any gift tax limits at all, and it helps them reduce the size of their estate. While right now their estate is under the current estate tax limit, there is routinely talk at the national and state levels of lowering this limit, so they may indeed hit the limit in the future.

Whether it is for tax reasons or not, it is a huge help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s an anonymous forum after all. Isn’t this the place to ask questions like this. I told the attitude from a lot of people with trust funds and family money is it’s crass to talk about it but again, it’s an anonymous forum. What does it really matter. Seems like a good place to be honest.

NP
I have never heard this from someone directly but there are many people who had a neighbor/friend/relative tell me that person had a trust fund. I wonder if they know EVERYONE knows because one or their friends is a big mouth. It's also possible that it's not even the case and just assumed gossip.

I think it’s just obvious in some cases. 3 kids in private school, second home, husband is a civil engineer and they live in a 3m house and drive an escalade/bmw. You need a very large salary to carry this lifestyle. We have a $500k family income and live a fairly normal life with kids in public school, just happens to be a great neighborhood but totally normal house that would be $400k anywhere else.

Anonymous wrote:[url]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll bite. I grew up well off and most of my friends receive money from parents in one way or another. My husband and I both have well off parents. We received a down payment for our pretty average, not new construction home as a gift. HHI is around 450k and we get a 30k annual gift. Other than that - which is huge- we dont have a trust or know anything about inheritance. We watch our money very carefully, max out retirement, and live in an average house. We send our kids to private school and want a third child, so we’re carrying the lions share of our lifestyle expenses, which we need to work to do. I think our parents intended for it to be this way- if we need help for something legitimate, they’re there, but otherwise, the gifts are a head start and not intended to have us living beyond our means.

Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a few people with trust funds.

$500,000 is not working class in any circle. You just don’t know any working class people socially. Your house cleaners, your nannies, your yard people, and the server at your restaurant are working class. I’m not a social justice warrior but *any* stretch, but don’t call yourself working class in real life. You’re not and it makes you sound really unappealing.

When I said working class, I just meant people who are living primarily off their careers.