Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So it rubs me really wrong when the older spouse--usually male--with a shorter life expectancy--again usually male--makes a solo decision to not plan for this reasonably without really working through the details of the various situations with their spouse.
Very likely it's not men here on DCUM who keep saying "forget LTC insurance, let me die or get euthanized."
One man here who mostly feels that way. Zero desire to live to a point where I can't enjoy the basic things in life, or have no idea who my family is. My father has made clear he feels the same way, and has made it very clear in his medical directives.
I know several men who have told me that is their plan. They might not realize they won’t be able to carry it out
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So it rubs me really wrong when the older spouse--usually male--with a shorter life expectancy--again usually male--makes a solo decision to not plan for this reasonably without really working through the details of the various situations with their spouse.
Very likely it's not men here on DCUM who keep saying "forget LTC insurance, let me die or get euthanized."
One man here who mostly feels that way. Zero desire to live to a point where I can't enjoy the basic things in life, or have no idea who my family is. My father has made clear he feels the same way, and has made it very clear in his medical directives.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Not worth getting. We do not have it. Like another poster, we would prefer to succumb to whatever illness leaves us needing that kind of care. We have seen it and it's not a life we would want at any price.
Signed,
retired people in late 60's
I don't understand these types of comments. NOBODY WANTS to go into dementia care facilities. But if you become too much for your 80 yr old spouse to care for 24 hrs/day, 7 days/week, THEY are going to put you in a facility, and you better have some $$$$$ to pay for it.
Are you suggesting that if you have dementia, you are going to take yourself out? If not, then you don't get to just decide that you are going to "succumb" to dementia or Parkinsons. Your relatives/spouse have to deal with your needs until you eventually "succumb" -- which may be 3-10 yrs. They may not be willing to change your diapers. They may prefer to put you in a facility where you can't wander out the door at 2 a.m. in the freezing cold winter. Gotta have $$$$$.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So it rubs me really wrong when the older spouse--usually male--with a shorter life expectancy--again usually male--makes a solo decision to not plan for this reasonably without really working through the details of the various situations with their spouse.
Very likely it's not men here on DCUM who keep saying "forget LTC insurance, let me die or get euthanized."
One man here who mostly feels that way. Zero desire to live to a point where I can't enjoy the basic things in life, or have no idea who my family is. My father has made clear he feels the same way, and has made it very clear in his medical directives.
There is no legal/legitimate "medical directive" that would allow a caregiver/spouse/relative or even the state to simply turn their back on a dementia patient and let them die of neglect. Not going to happen.
I think there is a percentage of people who like to talk REAL BIG about how they are going to be IN CONTROL and not live in any kind of diminished capacity. They like to talk big, but when the time comes and they actually have dementia, they are going to need the same care that everyone else needs... toilet care, dressing, help with managing life, and security so they don't wander away. The bottom line is that there is no easy way out of living through dementia unless you have a pact with your spouse to do a murder-suicide.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So it rubs me really wrong when the older spouse--usually male--with a shorter life expectancy--again usually male--makes a solo decision to not plan for this reasonably without really working through the details of the various situations with their spouse.
Very likely it's not men here on DCUM who keep saying "forget LTC insurance, let me die or get euthanized."
One man here who mostly feels that way. Zero desire to live to a point where I can't enjoy the basic things in life, or have no idea who my family is. My father has made clear he feels the same way, and has made it very clear in his medical directives.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My parent has LtC insurance. They are going on the 5th year of assisted living. Policy had paid in full per all years. They have no elimination period and the policy pays for lifetime. Has worked well with no issues. Parent in their 90s. Glad they gave it.
Yes but you and I can’t get a great policy like that now.
Anonymous wrote:My parent has LtC insurance. They are going on the 5th year of assisted living. Policy had paid in full per all years. They have no elimination period and the policy pays for lifetime. Has worked well with no issues. Parent in their 90s. Glad they gave it.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So it rubs me really wrong when the older spouse--usually male--with a shorter life expectancy--again usually male--makes a solo decision to not plan for this reasonably without really working through the details of the various situations with their spouse.
Very likely it's not men here on DCUM who keep saying "forget LTC insurance, let me die or get euthanized."
One man here who mostly feels that way. Zero desire to live to a point where I can't enjoy the basic things in life, or have no idea who my family is. My father has made clear he feels the same way, and has made it very clear in his medical directives.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No, I plan to self insure. I also have no interest in wasting away in diapers in a $15,009 a month memory care unit. Just OD me.
Yeah um, if this is what you really want, then you need to write a super tight "do not rescucitate" will now and one that says that if you can't feed, bathe and cloth yourself, then you do not want to be offered any food or otherwise. The point, by the time you're losing it with dementia or through a fall or something else, you won't be able to assert these types of rights yourself and it's illegal for your friends and relatives to do this for you.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So it rubs me really wrong when the older spouse--usually male--with a shorter life expectancy--again usually male--makes a solo decision to not plan for this reasonably without really working through the details of the various situations with their spouse.
Very likely it's not men here on DCUM who keep saying "forget LTC insurance, let me die or get euthanized."
One man here who mostly feels that way. Zero desire to live to a point where I can't enjoy the basic things in life, or have no idea who my family is. My father has made clear he feels the same way, and has made it very clear in his medical directives.
Do you have a spouse and if so what do they think? What happens if you're cognizant and enjoying life but can't complete some daily living tasks and need care? Or your spouse is in that situation? After my grandfathers died, both my grandmothers needed to be in long term care due to repeated falls, but they still loved seeing their grandchildren, playing cards with their friends etc. Basically their kids coughed up the money for their long term care--and none of them are well-off but there are at least 5 kids in each family to share the burden-- because my grandfathers ran the finances and didn't think about it.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So it rubs me really wrong when the older spouse--usually male--with a shorter life expectancy--again usually male--makes a solo decision to not plan for this reasonably without really working through the details of the various situations with their spouse.
Very likely it's not men here on DCUM who keep saying "forget LTC insurance, let me die or get euthanized."
One man here who mostly feels that way. Zero desire to live to a point where I can't enjoy the basic things in life, or have no idea who my family is. My father has made clear he feels the same way, and has made it very clear in his medical directives.
Anonymous wrote:So it rubs me really wrong when the older spouse--usually male--with a shorter life expectancy--again usually male--makes a solo decision to not plan for this reasonably without really working through the details of the various situations with their spouse.
Very likely it's not men here on DCUM who keep saying "forget LTC insurance, let me die or get euthanized."