Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This would drive me crazy too. Do you hear him saying lots and lots of nice things about you? If you don’t maybe you can start there. He might be taking you for granted.

To others? Yes, occasionally. To me? Also yes, quite often.

This is why I can’t understand why I’m so bothered by this. He just as often speaks anecdotally about his male coworkers (even in the same way: he recently told me his male coworker told him which convenience store sells a coveted energy bar, as an example of something akin to the intimacy of knowing how he takes his coffee.)

I have never felt insecurity like this. I can’t pinpoint where it’s coming from.

Anonymous wrote:DH works with a team of about 20, both men and women, 1/3 being women. He talks about “Leah” and “Amy” quite often, and they are definitely his “work wives” if I’m correct about the meaning of that phrase. They know how he takes his coffee and about our child’s eczema; Leah even researched some remedies and told DH, who told me. Those are examples. Today, when the topic came up, he randomly told me how “great” Leah and Amy would be at something (that I am admittedly NOT great at, though his comment was not directed at me at all) and I got so irrationally fired up (internally, he has no idea, though I was close to blowing up about how tired I am of hearing about how “great” Leah and Amy are, and so I’m here now to seek advice so it doesn’t come to that.)

I’ve met them. I have no reason to believe anything nefarious is happening. They are both nice to me, but not overly nice, or standoffish, either. Both are married, not that that matters, but just throwing it out there. I have no idea why they make me feel so insecure. I’m being honest when I say I have NEVER felt this way about any of his female coworkers, or any other women for that matter, before, so I have no idea where this is coming from or what to do about it. Any advice?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you feeling about yourself?

Yes, these posts make me think this.

Are you a SAHM who is bored with your life/insecure about your own identity/capabilities? If so, focus on changing that.

For what it is worth, I would not consider those two women to be "work wives."

The one situation I ever saw that deserved that label was different. It was two workers who should have been at equal value (in terms of credentials) but the women became the man's handmaiden. Like they would go to meetings together just so she could keep his calendar. If you asked him if he would be free to attend a future meeting, he would say "you have to ask her, I can't keep my schedule straight." If someone asked him to write a recommendation, she would really pen it. MIND YOU, she was not a secretary in any way. She was a PHYSICIAN who had taken on an administrative leadership role (like him). But they became bound at the hip and he was definitely taking credit for her work, etc. It was weird.

Anonymous wrote:Having work spouses is normal in most workplaces. Get over it.

Anonymous wrote:Having work spouses is normal in most workplaces. Get over it.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah well, I recently learned my DH has been having an affair with his long-time "work wife" . She's mousy, 10 years younger and married with 2 young kids.
And DH is so consumed with the affair, that he wants a divorce.

So, tell your DH it's inappropriate, and enlist other friends, his dad, to also tell him it's inappropriate, otherwise it's too easy for a weak man and pathetic woman to slip into an affair

Anonymous wrote:How are you feeling about yourself?

Anonymous wrote:DH works with a team of about 20, both men and women, 1/3 being women. He talks about “Leah” and “Amy” quite often, and they are definitely his “work wives” if I’m correct about the meaning of that phrase. They know how he takes his coffee and about our child’s eczema; Leah even researched some remedies and told DH, who told me. Those are examples. Today, when the topic came up, he randomly told me how “great” Leah and Amy would be at something (that I am admittedly NOT great at, though his comment was not directed at me at all) and I got so irrationally fired up (internally, he has no idea, though I was close to blowing up about how tired I am of hearing about how “great” Leah and Amy are, and so I’m here now to seek advice so it doesn’t come to that.)

I’ve met them. I have no reason to believe anything nefarious is happening. They are both nice to me, but not overly nice, or standoffish, either. Both are married, not that that matters, but just throwing it out there. I have no idea why they make me feel so insecure. I’m being honest when I say I have NEVER felt this way about any of his female coworkers, or any other women for that matter, before, so I have no idea where this is coming from or what to do about it. Any advice?

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps we should stop using these weird work spouse terms and simply say “friends”. It is ok to have friends of the opposite gender. Except on DCUM which is full of low-integrity sex crazed maniacs who can’t control their primal instincts and are at risk of screwing anything with a pulse. But in the adult world, none of this is actually an issue.