My husband was arrested in college for disorderly conduct and trying to punch a cop. It put the fear of god in him and he went to an ivy law school and is now a big law partner. Never had his record expunged. Life is long!

Thank you for the update, OP.

I remember reading this back in the spring and felt lots of compassion and empathy for you. I’m really glad that it had an outcome that it did and even if it cast a shadow through the end of the school year, it sounds like you and your family have a good perspective. And hopefully it will indeed be one of those life lessons that has a beneficial impact going forward for your child.

And, as the previous poster said, the way that you handled this with your child can create a lot of emotional trust and good connection going forward.

I’m very glad for you and your family.

Thanks for the update, OP! I did stuff like that as a teen, too, but never got caught. Lots of us did. I am a lawyer and a mom and very much a law-abiding citizen. I am glad you supported your son through this. He will always remember how you handled this.

Anonymous wrote:OP here for an update: all charges were dropped except one misdemeanor, which will also be dropped after one year of good behavior and some paid restitution. Whew.

Basically my kid (who had just turned 18, senior year) and friends snuck into an abandoned building to drink and smoke on the rooftop. When cops came everyone scattered but mine got caught. Charges included intent to burglarize and property destruction, plus the drinking and smoking and running away from cops stuff. Apparently there were other kids going in this place and posting it on social media, which is how they heard about it.

It really put a pall over all the end of year senior events like prom and graduation. Plus I've allowed very little freedom since the arrest. It's been a sobering life lesson for my kid and I hope put them solidly on a good path moving forward for college and beyond.

I really appreciate everyone who offered recommendations, support and sympathy. Parenting doesn't get easier as we get older, they still find ways to throw something new at you.

Appreciate the update. Did you find a good lawyer?

Anonymous wrote:OP here for an update: all charges were dropped except one misdemeanor, which will also be dropped after one year of good behavior and some paid restitution. Whew.

Basically my kid (who had just turned 18, senior year) and friends snuck into an abandoned building to drink and smoke on the rooftop. When cops came everyone scattered but mine got caught. Charges included intent to burglarize and property destruction, plus the drinking and smoking and running away from cops stuff. Apparently there were other kids going in this place and posting it on social media, which is how they heard about it.

It really put a pall over all the end of year senior events like prom and graduation. Plus I've allowed very little freedom since the arrest. It's been a sobering life lesson for my kid and I hope put them solidly on a good path moving forward for college and beyond.

I really appreciate everyone who offered recommendations, support and sympathy. Parenting doesn't get easier as we get older, they still find ways to throw something new at you.

Parenting is not for sissies. Hang in there, OP.

When my DH was about the same age, he got caught in similar circumstances. Arrested, but charges were ultimately dropped. For reasons that are unclear but seemed based on good advice, he and his parents opted not to get the incident expunged.

I'm here to tell you that it didn't affect his college, he was able to get and hold excellent jobs, he is allowed to coach our kid's sport, etc. He has to check "yes" to the "have you ever been arrested?" question, but he includes an explanation of the incident (and at this age, generally gets a friendly pat on the back and a "me too, buddy" from whoever is compiling background check info. Although he still went on to do some of the requisite ridiculous stuff in college and as a young adult, he became much choosier about his friends. And much more willing to bail out if a night seemed like it was really headed off the rails.

He also remains astounded and grateful that his parents were so supportive and forgiving. Sure, his mom blew her top that first night. But what he really remembers is the long-term way they helped him get through it.

Anonymous wrote:OP here for an update: all charges were dropped except one misdemeanor, which will also be dropped after one year of good behavior and some paid restitution. Whew.

Basically my kid (who had just turned 18, senior year) and friends snuck into an abandoned building to drink and smoke on the rooftop. When cops came everyone scattered but mine got caught. Charges included intent to burglarize and property destruction, plus the drinking and smoking and running away from cops stuff. Apparently there were other kids going in this place and posting it on social media, which is how they heard about it.

It really put a pall over all the end of year senior events like prom and graduation. Plus I've allowed very little freedom since the arrest. It's been a sobering life lesson for my kid and I hope put them solidly on a good path moving forward for college and beyond.

I really appreciate everyone who offered recommendations, support and sympathy. Parenting doesn't get easier as we get older, they still find ways to throw something new at you.

Thanks for this update, OP.
This too shall pass and I bet your kid turns out great.

OP here for an update: all charges were dropped except one misdemeanor, which will also be dropped after one year of good behavior and some paid restitution. Whew.

Basically my kid (who had just turned 18, senior year) and friends snuck into an abandoned building to drink and smoke on the rooftop. When cops came everyone scattered but mine got caught. Charges included intent to burglarize and property destruction, plus the drinking and smoking and running away from cops stuff. Apparently there were other kids going in this place and posting it on social media, which is how they heard about it.

It really put a pall over all the end of year senior events like prom and graduation. Plus I've allowed very little freedom since the arrest. It's been a sobering life lesson for my kid and I hope put them solidly on a good path moving forward for college and beyond.

I really appreciate everyone who offered recommendations, support and sympathy. Parenting doesn't get easier as we get older, they still find ways to throw something new at you.

Hang in there, OP! It’s painful to watch them learn things the hard way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP needs to think of it as kid did illegal things, not “dumb” things.

People who point out the illegality of things are often willing to overlook more serious things when their friends are involved, oh say, breaking into the Capitol and trying to overturn an election, paying a prostitute and fraudulently declaring it as a business expense, keeping national security secrets in your unsecured bathroom.

Good point. Everyone knows national security secrets belong in your garage.

And everyone knows that payments to prostitutes belong on tax returns as "legal expenses."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of immature / dumb things, if I think back to high school, stuff kids got caught for...

Trespassing, public urination, indecent exposure (mooning, streaking), stealing a sign, graffiti, stealing a table from a 'competing' club's lounge, fireworks, marijuana related, break into the locked school, donuts in the parking lot that led to crashing into another car

That is what I remember off the top of my head

I don't know. I did many things from your list, was caught and let go with a stern talk. I'm thinking it had to be pretty bad to result in multiple charges

Yeah, but you could do a dumb thing and compound it with a dumber thing. Like trespassing that turns into a police chase, etc.

Agree with you. I'm just saying privilege without respect for LEO its a bad combination.

My husband started college young (17). While underage he was leaving a bar one night (walking home) with a beer. Open containers were not allowed in that state even if you were of age. A cop stopped him and said “get rid of your drink, you can’t walk home with it” and my husband said “okay” and chugged it. The cop stopped him and said “throw it away, now”. He’s very lucky not to have been in more trouble. I did stupid things in my teens too. Best of luck op!

OP, just wanted to give you my deepest sympathy, because there but for the grace of God go I. I don’t blame you for being absolutely furious but give him a hug too. 18 is an extremely stupid age.

Signed, a former delinquent who turned out OK and is now a law-abiding tax-paying citizen