OP, so sorry you are going through this. I’m a licensed clinical social worker and my first thought was that this may be an underlying mental health issue, combined with some tough circumstances, changing friend group, etc.
Depression can read as irritability and anger, often directed at parents or previously close friends. Also as someone mentioned this could be a sign of other mental health concerns such as borderline personality disorder and the marked fear of abandonment can paradoxically cause someone to lash out at the people they are closest to. She is about the age where some of these symptoms start become more noticeable and cause her a lot more difficulty.
Also possible that there is something she hasn’t disclosed that is making her feel really off balance such as bullying, harassment, or even assault at school, online, or elsewhere. Or new alcohol or substance use.
At any rate, she needs structure and safety and for something to feel predictable and stable. Agree with a previous suggestion to check into DBT. There has been a lot of success with teens in similar situations.
Best of luck to you, OP. There is hope.

I’m sorry OP. Has she actually recorded you or just threatens to?

My best friends daughter treats her like this. Almost exactly. In my opinion her daughter has a major mental illness - probably something like borderline personality disorder but bipolar looks like this too. My friend used to be more reactive but she did a lot of therapy and now is very calm and her daughter acts worse - maybe bc she’s not getting the dramatic response she is trying to elicit ?

Her kids dad also left them and moved out of the country. The abandonment issues are intense, combined with certain personality types it seems like some kids with this combo will attack the one stable person in their life.

Your daughter may have friendship issues bc she treats her friends like this too. I would guess that your daughter is going through a lot in her social life and it’s coming out in her behavior with you.

I highly recommend looking into EMDR therapy if she has any trauma.

Search Nicholeen Peck's videos on parenting teenagers on YouTube. She's amazing.

At the very, very least your daughter needs to learn you don’t get to make videos of someone without their consent in their homes. It is, in fact, a crime in some states. I would not let my child have a camera-enabled phone in these circumstances.

Abso-fcking-lately not with the videoing. Her phone would be gone. There’s only so much you can control but I consider that borderline abuse

Are you in DC? we need to open a platform to parents with similar problems.My son classmates are having similar issues and parents are in denial. Let's change our neighborhood and make a difference.