I understand online dating is different in that you have never met before. I would think if you are a very attractive woman, you would be able to pick. My single friends say they do FaceTime first dates. I don’t think I would meet a complete stranger I have never even spoken to on the phone. The whole world of online dating seems foreign to me.

In my generation, there was match.com and jdate. Before facebook, I was a grad student at Harvard and there was this matchmaking program where students from Harvard, MIT and Wellesley could get matched. I think I met 2 guys from there and it was awkward. I honestly can’t even remember where we met or what we did or who they were. Back then, there were no pictures. There was no chat. I’m pretty sure it was just name, age, school maybe. I don’t remember if the program even asked any physical features like height or ethnicity.

I think meeting at a cafe in or near a park and then taking a walk is a very nice first date. If you don’t connect with the person over coffee you walk in different directions.

I had a recent 1st date with a younger man who suggested a walking date. Not my style at all. Would not want to do it again. But I'm in my 40's and very comfortable financially.

I prefer grabbing a drink during happy hour, maybe some appetizers if there is chemistry. If the desire is for low-key screening or stick with wholesome, coffee/tea.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I can’t imagine going on a date who couldn’t buy me a cup of coffee. I would be fine with buying my own coffee.

I went to college and grad school with wealthy students so I never hung out with any guys who wouldn’t buy me dinner. DH was not wealthy but also bought me dinner all the time with the little money he did have. He now earns a seven figure income.

I didn’t know or associate with guys who would not buy dinner on a date. How cheap!!

There's nothing wrong with not being interested in a walking date. It is wrong to judge someone as 'cheap' for rejecting the "pay to play" paradigm of traditional dating.

You have also contradicted yourself. You are not fine buying your own cup of coffee. You expect men to pay even, in your own words, when they had little money (I have no idea what your DH's currently makes has to do with anything). Again, it's fine if a walking date isn't your thing but don't think you aren't charging an access fee.

I have been with Dh for over 20 years. I had a lot of suitors before him. If I accepted what I considered a true date, I’m pretty sure it was always dinner. There were other guys who I met and wanted to hang out we may have hung out in a group. I did not consider them dates and don’t remember what we did and I likely always paid for myself. If a guy had the intent and showed he liked me, I would have accepted and I got ready.

I honestly probably would not have wanted to go on a coffeee date and never have. But then again, I didn’t cook so I would have preferred to meet up to eat. This goes for dates and friends too. I always went out to eat with friends.

I have always attracted gentlemen type men. I didn’t hang out with or associate with guys who tried to take me home from a club or try to take me on a coffee date and definitely not a walking date.

What a little princess you are

Ha. My friends did used to call me a princess. I actually used to take pride in being high maintenance. I made guys work for it and they did. That seems silly now. When you have a lot of options, you don’t have to accept anything else.

As arrogant as it sounds, I had many guys hitting on me and asking me out everyday. No one ever asked me out on a walking date. I would not have to go on such a bad date because I had many more better options.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I can’t imagine going on a date who couldn’t buy me a cup of coffee. I would be fine with buying my own coffee.

I went to college and grad school with wealthy students so I never hung out with any guys who wouldn’t buy me dinner. DH was not wealthy but also bought me dinner all the time with the little money he did have. He now earns a seven figure income.

I didn’t know or associate with guys who would not buy dinner on a date. How cheap!!

There's nothing wrong with not being interested in a walking date. It is wrong to judge someone as 'cheap' for rejecting the "pay to play" paradigm of traditional dating.

You have also contradicted yourself. You are not fine buying your own cup of coffee. You expect men to pay even, in your own words, when they had little money (I have no idea what your DH's currently makes has to do with anything). Again, it's fine if a walking date isn't your thing but don't think you aren't charging an access fee.

I have been with Dh for over 20 years. I had a lot of suitors before him. If I accepted what I considered a true date, I’m pretty sure it was always dinner. There were other guys who I met and wanted to hang out we may have hung out in a group. I did not consider them dates and don’t remember what we did and I likely always paid for myself. If a guy had the intent and showed he liked me, I would have accepted and I got ready.

I honestly probably would not have wanted to go on a coffeee date and never have. But then again, I didn’t cook so I would have preferred to meet up to eat. This goes for dates and friends too. I always went out to eat with friends.

I have always attracted gentlemen type men. I didn’t hang out with or associate with guys who tried to take me home from a club or try to take me on a coffee date and definitely not a walking date.

Men who do not want to 'pay to play' are not gentlemen? That's exactly what you're saying. That would include your BIL and your friend's brother.

Again, if walking and/or coffee doesn't meet your dating bar, that's fine. It certainly would weed out incompatible prospects. You shouldn't judge those whose preferences are different. You should also be more open to the idea that people with different preferences can all be right.

I have never done online dating. I would not have gone out on a date unless I thought the guy was attractive and we already clicked and got along.

I was a grad student at an Ivy when I met DH. Back then, it was always clear when a guy was asking you out on a date or if a guy was just a friend for me. I friend zoned a lot of guys.

Even if I was single today, I don’t think I would accept a cheap walking date. It just sounds really cheap. Yeah, just not compatible I guess. Slice of pizza, ok. Starbucks, fine. What if someone was late? I’m going to be standing at some street waiting for a guy to take a walk? No thanks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I can’t imagine going on a date who couldn’t buy me a cup of coffee. I would be fine with buying my own coffee.

I went to college and grad school with wealthy students so I never hung out with any guys who wouldn’t buy me dinner. DH was not wealthy but also bought me dinner all the time with the little money he did have. He now earns a seven figure income.

I didn’t know or associate with guys who would not buy dinner on a date. How cheap!!

There's nothing wrong with not being interested in a walking date. It is wrong to judge someone as 'cheap' for rejecting the "pay to play" paradigm of traditional dating.

You have also contradicted yourself. You are not fine buying your own cup of coffee. You expect men to pay even, in your own words, when they had little money (I have no idea what your DH's currently makes has to do with anything). Again, it's fine if a walking date isn't your thing but don't think you aren't charging an access fee.

I have been with Dh for over 20 years. I had a lot of suitors before him. If I accepted what I considered a true date, I’m pretty sure it was always dinner. There were other guys who I met and wanted to hang out we may have hung out in a group. I did not consider them dates and don’t remember what we did and I likely always paid for myself. If a guy had the intent and showed he liked me, I would have accepted and I got ready.

I honestly probably would not have wanted to go on a coffeee date and never have. But then again, I didn’t cook so I would have preferred to meet up to eat. This goes for dates and friends too. I always went out to eat with friends.

I have always attracted gentlemen type men. I didn’t hang out with or associate with guys who tried to take me home from a club or try to take me on a coffee date and definitely not a walking date.

20 years ago isn’t today lady!!

An entirely different generation than today. If the woman doesn’t want a walking date it’s her choice.

I think it is odd as a first date.

You should meet up somewhere with a focus of food/coffee or drinks. Talk, if you get along then you can extend it with a walk.

Just sounds like too minimal of an investment. (Symbolically, like asking someone to walk with you while you drop off your dry cleaning. )

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I can’t imagine going on a date who couldn’t buy me a cup of coffee. I would be fine with buying my own coffee.

I went to college and grad school with wealthy students so I never hung out with any guys who wouldn’t buy me dinner. DH was not wealthy but also bought me dinner all the time with the little money he did have. He now earns a seven figure income.

I didn’t know or associate with guys who would not buy dinner on a date. How cheap!!

There's nothing wrong with not being interested in a walking date. It is wrong to judge someone as 'cheap' for rejecting the "pay to play" paradigm of traditional dating.

You have also contradicted yourself. You are not fine buying your own cup of coffee. You expect men to pay even, in your own words, when they had little money (I have no idea what your DH's currently makes has to do with anything). Again, it's fine if a walking date isn't your thing but don't think you aren't charging an access fee.

I have been with Dh for over 20 years. I had a lot of suitors before him. If I accepted what I considered a true date, I’m pretty sure it was always dinner. There were other guys who I met and wanted to hang out we may have hung out in a group. I did not consider them dates and don’t remember what we did and I likely always paid for myself. If a guy had the intent and showed he liked me, I would have accepted and I got ready.

I honestly probably would not have wanted to go on a coffeee date and never have. But then again, I didn’t cook so I would have preferred to meet up to eat. This goes for dates and friends too. I always went out to eat with friends.

I have always attracted gentlemen type men. I didn’t hang out with or associate with guys who tried to take me home from a club or try to take me on a coffee date and definitely not a walking date.

20 years ago isn’t today lady!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My girlfriend also says that they only wanted to go for a walk and as soon as she suggested to go for Coffee they blocked her and on the date when she asked to go to a bar, they refused. This experience made her very bitter, and I feel for her. But I believe it might be a bit overblown.

She best adjust herself. I’m a woman and can understand that a man may not want to be paying for 50 first dates. What’s wrong w a walk and talk for a first meeting. Especially during spring on the dmv?

If a guy doesn't have $150 for 50 coffee cups throughout several months - not sure why he's even dating

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I can’t imagine going on a date who couldn’t buy me a cup of coffee. I would be fine with buying my own coffee.

I went to college and grad school with wealthy students so I never hung out with any guys who wouldn’t buy me dinner. DH was not wealthy but also bought me dinner all the time with the little money he did have. He now earns a seven figure income.

I didn’t know or associate with guys who would not buy dinner on a date. How cheap!!

There's nothing wrong with not being interested in a walking date. It is wrong to judge someone as 'cheap' for rejecting the "pay to play" paradigm of traditional dating.

You have also contradicted yourself. You are not fine buying your own cup of coffee. You expect men to pay even, in your own words, when they had little money (I have no idea what your DH's currently makes has to do with anything). Again, it's fine if a walking date isn't your thing but don't think you aren't charging an access fee.

I have been with Dh for over 20 years. I had a lot of suitors before him. If I accepted what I considered a true date, I’m pretty sure it was always dinner. There were other guys who I met and wanted to hang out we may have hung out in a group. I did not consider them dates and don’t remember what we did and I likely always paid for myself. If a guy had the intent and showed he liked me, I would have accepted and I got ready.

I honestly probably would not have wanted to go on a coffeee date and never have. But then again, I didn’t cook so I would have preferred to meet up to eat. This goes for dates and friends too. I always went out to eat with friends.

I have always attracted gentlemen type men. I didn’t hang out with or associate with guys who tried to take me home from a club or try to take me on a coffee date and definitely not a walking date.

Men who do not want to 'pay to play' are not gentlemen? That's exactly what you're saying. That would include your BIL and your friend's brother.

Again, if walking and/or coffee doesn't meet your dating bar, that's fine. It certainly would weed out incompatible prospects. You shouldn't judge those whose preferences are different. You should also be more open to the idea that people with different preferences can all be right.

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I have a single BIL who often vents about OLD. He makes very good money (over 1m) and he will say some women try to only pick expensive places. I asked why he is being so cheap. He said he had no problem taking a girl out that he is actually dating but that is not where he wants to go on a first date with someone he has never actually met. He prefers coffee so it can be very quick. If first meeting goes well, he will take her out on a real date.

My friend said her brother did the same thing. He would pick casual cheap places even though he is rich to weed out gold digger types.

As a woman I don't see anything wrong with this approach: if you never met the person before, a coffee intro is very standard and reasonable to expect. As weeds out cheap guys: if he doesn't even offer you a cup of coffee, no need to see him again
But if you already know the person from work, group of friends etc then the best first date for me would be something we can do together: a theater visit, a cooking /painting class etc.

Anonymous wrote:My girlfriend also says that they only wanted to go for a walk and as soon as she suggested to go for Coffee they blocked her and on the date when she asked to go to a bar, they refused. This experience made her very bitter, and I feel for her. But I believe it might be a bit overblown.

She best adjust herself. I’m a woman and can understand that a man may not want to be paying for 50 first dates. What’s wrong w a walk and talk for a first meeting. Especially during spring on the dmv?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I can’t imagine going on a date who couldn’t buy me a cup of coffee. I would be fine with buying my own coffee.

I went to college and grad school with wealthy students so I never hung out with any guys who wouldn’t buy me dinner. DH was not wealthy but also bought me dinner all the time with the little money he did have. He now earns a seven figure income.

I didn’t know or associate with guys who would not buy dinner on a date. How cheap!!

There's nothing wrong with not being interested in a walking date. It is wrong to judge someone as 'cheap' for rejecting the "pay to play" paradigm of traditional dating.

You have also contradicted yourself. You are not fine buying your own cup of coffee. You expect men to pay even, in your own words, when they had little money (I have no idea what your DH's currently makes has to do with anything). Again, it's fine if a walking date isn't your thing but don't think you aren't charging an access fee.

I have been with Dh for over 20 years. I had a lot of suitors before him. If I accepted what I considered a true date, I’m pretty sure it was always dinner. There were other guys who I met and wanted to hang out we may have hung out in a group. I did not consider them dates and don’t remember what we did and I likely always paid for myself. If a guy had the intent and showed he liked me, I would have accepted and I got ready.

I honestly probably would not have wanted to go on a coffeee date and never have. But then again, I didn’t cook so I would have preferred to meet up to eat. This goes for dates and friends too. I always went out to eat with friends.

I have always attracted gentlemen type men. I didn’t hang out with or associate with guys who tried to take me home from a club or try to take me on a coffee date and definitely not a walking date.

What a little princess you are

Pp again. I have a single BIL who often vents about OLD. He makes very good money (over 1m) and he will say some women try to only pick expensive places. I asked why he is being so cheap. He said he had no problem taking a girl out that he is actually dating but that is not where he wants to go on a first date with someone he has never actually met. He prefers coffee so it can be very quick. If first meeting goes well, he will take her out on a real date.

My friend said her brother did the same thing. He would pick casual cheap places even though he is rich to weed out gold digger types.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I can’t imagine going on a date who couldn’t buy me a cup of coffee. I would be fine with buying my own coffee.

I went to college and grad school with wealthy students so I never hung out with any guys who wouldn’t buy me dinner. DH was not wealthy but also bought me dinner all the time with the little money he did have. He now earns a seven figure income.

I didn’t know or associate with guys who would not buy dinner on a date. How cheap!!

There's nothing wrong with not being interested in a walking date. It is wrong to judge someone as 'cheap' for rejecting the "pay to play" paradigm of traditional dating.

You have also contradicted yourself. You are not fine buying your own cup of coffee. You expect men to pay even, in your own words, when they had little money (I have no idea what your DH's currently makes has to do with anything). Again, it's fine if a walking date isn't your thing but don't think you aren't charging an access fee.

I have been with Dh for over 20 years. I had a lot of suitors before him. If I accepted what I considered a true date, I’m pretty sure it was always dinner. There were other guys who I met and wanted to hang out we may have hung out in a group. I did not consider them dates and don’t remember what we did and I likely always paid for myself. If a guy had the intent and showed he liked me, I would have accepted and I got ready.

I honestly probably would not have wanted to go on a coffeee date and never have. But then again, I didn’t cook so I would have preferred to meet up to eat. This goes for dates and friends too. I always went out to eat with friends.

I have always attracted gentlemen type men. I didn’t hang out with or associate with guys who tried to take me home from a club or try to take me on a coffee date and definitely not a walking date.