Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 20:05     Subject: I never thought I'd feel so old in mid 40s - anyone else?
Anonymous wrote:68 & recovering from Cancer surgery. You don’t lose the desire to live or do stuff. But you lose the energy to live & do stuff. And I used to be a good & confident driver. Now big city driving scares the crap out of me. Still working part-time though.


You are so right. High speed driving becomes so stressful!
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 18:23     Subject: Re:I never thought I'd feel so old in mid 40s - anyone else?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a way that forced me to realize I could die at any moment for no reason at all. I had to become ok with it at like 14. I am now 45 and only hope to see my child grow up to be successful and happy. Beyond that I don't really care. I'm not suicifial nor do I wish to die. I eat healthy, I exercise, I am happy and content. I just know that one day we will all die and being scared and worried all the time is pointless.


how is hoping to see your child grow up and be successful and happy and different from what anyone wants? that's living to old age. i would dispute that given that statement, you would be ok with dying at any moment.


I guess you don’t get it. I’m at peace with being dead whenever that happens. I’m not going to hasten it but it will happen and I’m not going to spend the last few decades of my life being downtrodden about death and getting old.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 18:21     Subject: I never thought I'd feel so old in mid 40s - anyone else?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I dont feel like this at all (physically) and im 54. I still look very good. Dont have any pains either...so far.
However i get what you are saying about elderly parents etc.
I think we need to take it day by day. Thinking about the future makes me feel anxious.

Im going to organize something fun to do with friends. Having a few young friends is really fun too - although my most fun and outgoing friend is 66, so there you go!


Same. AT 45 I still felt incredibly young. 54 has been a game changer---still feel very young (avid exerciser my whole life, no ache pains)--but everyone around me is looking older (so I know I must too : and the deaths of parents and disease/cancers in people my age are increasing rapidly. That and I'm almost empty nest.

I think part of the reason I also felt young at 45 was because I still had a 7-year old so was doing all the elementary school stuff.


No, it’s most likely because of your genetics.


Yeah. You are probably right. My mom is amazing at 80--moves like a 60-year old, loves learning new things, exercises, hosts dinners in her retirement community.
My dad also moved and looked a lot younger than his age.


idk, my grandma was super active into her early 90s.
I'm mid 40s and have had so many more health problems than she had. I also think my life is harder and WAY more expensive and stressful and energy sucking than hers was.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 18:19     Subject: Re:I never thought I'd feel so old in mid 40s - anyone else?
Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a way that forced me to realize I could die at any moment for no reason at all. I had to become ok with it at like 14. I am now 45 and only hope to see my child grow up to be successful and happy. Beyond that I don't really care. I'm not suicifial nor do I wish to die. I eat healthy, I exercise, I am happy and content. I just know that one day we will all die and being scared and worried all the time is pointless.


how is hoping to see your child grow up and be successful and happy and different from what anyone wants? that's living to old age. i would dispute that given that statement, you would be ok with dying at any moment.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 16:39     Subject: I never thought I'd feel so old in mid 40s - anyone else?
Anonymous wrote:I’m 48. Haven’t felt much of any physical decline at all. But the dealing with declining elderly parents can really take it out of you mentally.


Same here. We're just early 40's and have a toddler but the hardest thing is the declining health of my IL's ... they're still in their 70's, but health-wise seem closer to 90, sadly.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 16:38     Subject: Re:I never thought I'd feel so old in mid 40s - anyone else?
I grew up in a way that forced me to realize I could die at any moment for no reason at all. I had to become ok with it at like 14. I am now 45 and only hope to see my child grow up to be successful and happy. Beyond that I don't really care. I'm not suicifial nor do I wish to die. I eat healthy, I exercise, I am happy and content. I just know that one day we will all die and being scared and worried all the time is pointless.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 16:05     Subject: I never thought I'd feel so old in mid 40s - anyone else?
68 & recovering from Cancer surgery. You don’t lose the desire to live or do stuff. But you lose the energy to live & do stuff. And I used to be a good & confident driver. Now big city driving scares the crap out of me. Still working part-time though.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 13:12     Subject: I never thought I'd feel so old in mid 40s - anyone else?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I dont feel like this at all (physically) and im 54. I still look very good. Dont have any pains either...so far.
However i get what you are saying about elderly parents etc.
I think we need to take it day by day. Thinking about the future makes me feel anxious.

Im going to organize something fun to do with friends. Having a few young friends is really fun too - although my most fun and outgoing friend is 66, so there you go!


Same. AT 45 I still felt incredibly young. 54 has been a game changer---still feel very young (avid exerciser my whole life, no ache pains)--but everyone around me is looking older (so I know I must too : and the deaths of parents and disease/cancers in people my age are increasing rapidly. That and I'm almost empty nest.

I think part of the reason I also felt young at 45 was because I still had a 7-year old so was doing all the elementary school stuff.


No, it’s most likely because of your genetics.


Yeah. You are probably right. My mom is amazing at 80--moves like a 60-year old, loves learning new things, exercises, hosts dinners in her retirement community.
My dad also moved and looked a lot younger than his age.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 10:10     Subject: I never thought I'd feel so old in mid 40s - anyone else?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’ve heard 50 from most of my relatives. My mom said 40 through late 40s was just a continuation of her 30s but with older kids and not having any more kids. Then the wheels started to really fall off at 50, plus or minus a few years.


Whaaaat! No! Omg what is going on, is this a troll?


NP but I felt young and healthy until right after I turned 50. In short order developed an eye issue, heartburn (thought it was a heart attack), slight weight gain, back pain…it’s been a doozy. And it’s the age when despite getting checked out, any of those things could be serious. Which never would have occurred to me in my 40s.


this is what i'm missing from my 30s. My 30s going for an MRI was slightly inconvenient and time consuming. Now in 40s every scan can potentially be where you find you've got something pretty serious going on. It's just a HUGE adjustment and wake up call where mortality is concerned.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 10:10     Subject: I never thought I'd feel so old in mid 40s - anyone else?
I don’t feel old but I am shocked every time I see myself in a mirror. I look old! In my mind, I am still my 25 yo self. Heading in to get Botox right now!
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2024 10:09     Subject: I never thought I'd feel so old in mid 40s - anyone else?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s not just physical.
It’s the flip from being an age where getting sick and dying would be a shocking thing and being the age where it happens. And it does happen to everyone around you your age and older.
Very hard transition


Death is still uncommon (and shocking) at that age. Are you kidding me?


not really - check out the 'endless parade of tragedy' thread in 'midlife concerns and eldercare'

I got cancer in my early 40s and have multiple friends who had the same. All dx incidentally and asymptomatic with zero risk factors.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2024 22:11     Subject: Re:I never thought I'd feel so old in mid 40s - anyone else?
I feel the same way, OP.

I needed glasses at 40. After that, there’s been a lot of health stuff to manage—and the number of things has been increasing.

What helps me is prioritizing time with friends and family and my main hobby. Yes, I work but that doesn’t require a major amount of deep thought any longer.



Anonymous
Post 02/19/2024 21:52     Subject: I never thought I'd feel so old in mid 40s - anyone else?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, I became an old lady in my 40s. Welcome to the club!

Just wait until you hit 50.


what happens then?


Did not happen to me in my 50s. This is not universal.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2024 21:50     Subject: I never thought I'd feel so old in mid 40s - anyone else?
Anonymous wrote:It’s not just physical.
It’s the flip from being an age where getting sick and dying would be a shocking thing and being the age where it happens. And it does happen to everyone around you your age and older.
Very hard transition


Death is still uncommon (and shocking) at that age. Are you kidding me?
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2024 21:31     Subject: I never thought I'd feel so old in mid 40s - anyone else?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:43 y/o and not feeling like that yet.


I think it hits in 44-46 range.


This. I didn't feel it until over 45.


Same. It’s amazing how different I feel from 43 to 47!