Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d stick with healthy cooking and eating and only you can judge if she’s overweight or not. BMI is a waste of space as a measurement. The majority of pro athletes have high/obese BMI from muscles and body fat percentage is a much more important factor. It’s never too early to learn about a good healthy diet, but first you need to very honestly assess whether weight is an issue. I have a kid with a 97% BMI as well. He DOES need to lose weight. There’s muscle and tons of sports, but he needs to eat healthier. My other kid is maybe 70th percentile in BMI. She’s a fully grown teen, 5’3” 135 and fits in a small/size 4 easily. She plays her sport 6-7 days a week, has clear muscle definition in her arms, legs and abs and has not got a visible ounce of fat anywhere. She is “overweight” per her BMI, but it would be crazy to think it’s an issue.

Given the disparity (like with your family) i just do my best to keep junk to a minimum, keep the bigger one active and hope for a growth spurt before i worry too much.

What? No way. Only NFL players are particularly overweight and they are not the "majority" of professional athletes.
And it's particularly important to be lean for endurance sports. OP mentioned that the daughter plays basketball. Literally only 2 NBA players have a high BMI. One is Zion Williamson, who was the #1 pick a few years back, but is chronically injured. BMI > 25 increases likelihood of meniscus tears.

Don’t bring facts to this debate. Next you’ll be telling us that it’s idiotic to compare the musculature of a 12 year old girl to professional athletes in the first place.

And definitely don’t bring up this insane idea that if one is overweight due to excessive muscle rather than excessive fat that it somehow magically isn’t an additional strain on one’s bones, joints, and circulatory system. I mean, surely some muscle bound man like Arnold Schwarzennegger wouldn’t have taxed his body to the point of needing a quadruple bypass, right?

That's not how coronary artery disease works.

I have an 11 year old boy who is overweight. Our ped is not worried about it as long as he stays active (he plays sports all seasons and we keep him moving and off screens).

I would absolutely never put him "on a diet". We do, as a family, eat healthy at home. I don't buy junk food or sugary drinks. We very rarely eat out. We don't eat a lot of sugar or desserts, even home made. Both of my kids (the oldest is super lean and fit) help with meal planning and cooking. We use a CSA 8 months every year so they have a good variety of in season vegetables. None of us snack after dinner. But also, if we do have a treat or eat out, we all do it. There's no depriving the overweight CHILD of a treat occasionally.

We are trying to set everyone up to be healthy without ever talking about dieting or dwelling on weight. Same rules for the kid who is a healthy weight as the one who is overweight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d stick with healthy cooking and eating and only you can judge if she’s overweight or not. BMI is a waste of space as a measurement. The majority of pro athletes have high/obese BMI from muscles and body fat percentage is a much more important factor. It’s never too early to learn about a good healthy diet, but first you need to very honestly assess whether weight is an issue. I have a kid with a 97% BMI as well. He DOES need to lose weight. There’s muscle and tons of sports, but he needs to eat healthier. My other kid is maybe 70th percentile in BMI. She’s a fully grown teen, 5’3” 135 and fits in a small/size 4 easily. She plays her sport 6-7 days a week, has clear muscle definition in her arms, legs and abs and has not got a visible ounce of fat anywhere. She is “overweight” per her BMI, but it would be crazy to think it’s an issue.

Given the disparity (like with your family) i just do my best to keep junk to a minimum, keep the bigger one active and hope for a growth spurt before i worry too much.

What? No way. Only NFL players are particularly overweight and they are not the "majority" of professional athletes.
And it's particularly important to be lean for endurance sports. OP mentioned that the daughter plays basketball. Literally only 2 NBA players have a high BMI. One is Zion Williamson, who was the #1 pick a few years back, but is chronically injured. BMI > 25 increases likelihood of meniscus tears.

Don’t bring facts to this debate. Next you’ll be telling us that it’s idiotic to compare the musculature of a 12 year old girl to professional athletes in the first place.

And definitely don’t bring up this insane idea that if one is overweight due to excessive muscle rather than excessive fat that it somehow magically isn’t an additional strain on one’s bones, joints, and circulatory system. I mean, surely some muscle bound man like Arnold Schwarzennegger wouldn’t have taxed his body to the point of needing a quadruple bypass, right?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t buy any junk food for the house. If she eats poor quality food (chips, candy, soda), she has to make an effort to get it.

Go read the Oreo thread on teen forum. TONS of overweight people over there complaining how their parents wouldn’t buy junk food or restricted their junk and now they are blaming them for ‘causing them to binge’ and continue to be overweight.

Not saying you are wrong, I would try to limit what junk they have access to. But just know, it likely won’t help, and they likely will still be overweight, and you will still be blamed

That’s right, just throw in the towel and take no responsibility for your child’s health because maybe they’ll blame you for their problems down the road anyway.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t buy any junk food for the house. If she eats poor quality food (chips, candy, soda), she has to make an effort to get it.

Go read the Oreo thread on teen forum. TONS of overweight people over there complaining how their parents wouldn’t buy junk food or restricted their junk and now they are blaming them for ‘causing them to binge’ and continue to be overweight.

Not saying you are wrong, I would try to limit what junk they have access to. But just know, it likely won’t help, and they likely will still be overweight, and you will still be blamed

Anonymous wrote:I’d stick with healthy cooking and eating and only you can judge if she’s overweight or not. BMI is a waste of space as a measurement. The majority of pro athletes have high/obese BMI from muscles and body fat percentage is a much more important factor. It’s never too early to learn about a good healthy diet, but first you need to very honestly assess whether weight is an issue. I have a kid with a 97% BMI as well. He DOES need to lose weight. There’s muscle and tons of sports, but he needs to eat healthier. My other kid is maybe 70th percentile in BMI. She’s a fully grown teen, 5’3” 135 and fits in a small/size 4 easily. She plays her sport 6-7 days a week, has clear muscle definition in her arms, legs and abs and has not got a visible ounce of fat anywhere. She is “overweight” per her BMI, but it would be crazy to think it’s an issue.

Given the disparity (like with your family) i just do my best to keep junk to a minimum, keep the bigger one active and hope for a growth spurt before i worry too much.

What? No way. Only NFL players are particularly overweight and they are not the "majority" of professional athletes.
And it's particularly important to be lean for endurance sports. OP mentioned that the daughter plays basketball. Literally only 2 NBA players have a high BMI. One is Zion Williamson, who was the #1 pick a few years back, but is chronically injured. BMI > 25 increases likelihood of meniscus tears.

When my son was very little, I saw a nutritionist for advice on constipation and diet. It was very helpful. I seriously think you as the parent should see a dietitian or nutritionist for advice on diet. Maybe the nutritionist will say the diet in your house is perfect and you don’t need to change anything or maybe you’ll learn that you the parent don’t know what a healthy diet is and this will help you all learn how to eat healthier in the house.

Anonymous wrote:I got my period at the end of 5th grade. I grew 6-7” by the start of 7th grades. I look really chunky in 6th grade photos when I was 12 and then I gained height without gaining weight.

I think you are in the zone to wait and see OP. Also I think you should look at the body types in your family and consider what is reasonable. If you or your spouse are larger people, it would track that she will also be larger.

🙄

The vast majority of women didn’t grow 6-7” during puberty.

And OP’s daughter probably won’t, which is why the pediatrician said what he said.

Don’t buy any junk food for the house. If she eats poor quality food (chips, candy, soda), she has to make an effort to get it.

I’d stick with healthy cooking and eating and only you can judge if she’s overweight or not. BMI is a waste of space as a measurement. The majority of pro athletes have high/obese BMI from muscles and body fat percentage is a much more important factor. It’s never too early to learn about a good healthy diet, but first you need to very honestly assess whether weight is an issue. I have a kid with a 97% BMI as well. He DOES need to lose weight. There’s muscle and tons of sports, but he needs to eat healthier. My other kid is maybe 70th percentile in BMI. She’s a fully grown teen, 5’3” 135 and fits in a small/size 4 easily. She plays her sport 6-7 days a week, has clear muscle definition in her arms, legs and abs and has not got a visible ounce of fat anywhere. She is “overweight” per her BMI, but it would be crazy to think it’s an issue.

Given the disparity (like with your family) i just do my best to keep junk to a minimum, keep the bigger one active and hope for a growth spurt before i worry too much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are trying to justify why your 12 year old should remain obese and that is very sad. Your child is OBESE. She is therefore, not healthy. She needs less food and more movement.

You have no clue what OP's DD's body fat/body comp is, and therefore you have no ability to comment on her. It's particularly stunning that you say she needs more movement, she. OP already said her DC plays three sports, runs, and lifts heavy.

Maybe you should get some help for your own psych issues and shut the f ck up.

OP says 97th percentile in the opening above. That is obese

I would just try to stop buying junk food and see where that gets you in 6 months. Don’t buy juices and/or only get zero calorie sodas. Your other kids will just have to deal with it.

I’m sure your daughter is already aware that she’s on the heavier side - does she ever bring up her weight? If so, be honest with her and tell her what the doctor said. Also, are you overweight OP? If you are, that may have played a part in why the doctor is mentioning it now (he/she doesn’t want her to end up with your weight struggles) rather than taking a wait and see approach.

The bottom line is I think you need to listen to the doctor and help her lose the weight.

I got my period at the end of 5th grade. I grew 6-7” by the start of 7th grades. I look really chunky in 6th grade photos when I was 12 and then I gained height without gaining weight.

I think you are in the zone to wait and see OP. Also I think you should look at the body types in your family and consider what is reasonable. If you or your spouse are larger people, it would track that she will also be larger.

Anonymous wrote:I was your dd and shamed for it by my ped, put on a diet...Nothing worked and I started eating more rather than less, in secret. Turns out I was just full-grown at 12yo and 5'2 and 125, making me overweight according to child BMI. At the same weight once in my 20s I looked like a regular adult, normal, not overweight. I never shed my poor self-esteem over it.

OP’s daughter is 5’4” 162. That is also overweight for an adult. But she is 12. Assuming OP already is providing cooked meals and lots of heathy options, “intuitive” eating isn’t working. She has made herself obese by intuitive eating and needs some more guidance and intervention. But chances are nothing will help until 1) she actually wants to lose weight 2) is old enough or large enough for meds

I would get snacks packed with fiber, this is the best way to curb appetites naturally.