Low key for personal safety and to protect against kidnapping.

I'm lowkey but my DH carries frugality a bit too far. We both grew up poor, though he's probably had harder teenage years due to losing his father young that caused a major blow to the family's financial security. His whole approach to money is extremely conservative: living well below our means, but also not seeking to grow the money we do save. I'm the one taking charge of investing our money.

Low key

Id say we are pretty in the middle. Our house and cars are pretty basic. We just have no desire for a huge house and neither of us are into cars. Our vacations reflect our wealth. We arent social media posters and sharers, but we also don't lie or hide things if people ask us our plans or about a trip. I suppose if you know brands and high end fashion you can take guesses about our wealth when we wear those things. But you're also more likely to find DH in Levis and a t-shirt from Targer or a work conference than high end clothes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think anybody “flaunts” it, people just buy/do expensive things. For themselves or their rich friends to whom it’s a hobby, not a flaunt.

Oh, people definitely flaunt it.

Take your family on a luxurious trip to Europe: just living the high life.
Post photos of said trip on social media: flaunting it.

So someone who takes a budget trip to Europe and posts on social media is "not flaunting it" but someone who takes a luxurious trip is? Remember for them, that is simply their major vacation for the year and they want to share it with their friends and family just the same as someone does if they go to DELMARVA beach for a week and rents a condo. It's not always flaunting it, it's just them living their life.

+1. Believe it or not - it is not always about you!

Yup! But I get what OP is saying for some things. I have Family who constantly post photos of them in the First class lounge, first class seats on Europe/Asia flights, and then staying at very high end hotels with posts that definately includes the name of hotel. I know they are doing it to show off/ensure everyone knows they are doing it high end. Whereas we actually are probably worth way more than those family members. however, we just post family photos while on vacation, without tagging our location every step of the way. I think there has only been one time (years ago before we were worth so much) that we posted about being UPGRADED to Business/first, and only then it was because "how nice to have gotten the upgrade since we are now stuck waiting for 2+ hours before we get clearance for takeoff due to weather at the destination", so photo of drinking bubbly while we waited. But I'm not posting about sitting in first class lounges or raving that I'm at the Four seasons this and Oberoi that somewhere in Asia.

Why are certain posters trying to prove how much they can spend? Also, there are posters who can prove how much they can save?

Who cares? Do your own thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Flashy? No. Is it clear I have money, yes. Everything subtle and tasteful, but always expensive.

*everything* is expensive??

I'm guessing you're being snide. But, hmmm, I'm trying to think of something that I have that's not expensive. How about workout tights? My favorite are Target's own brand. I bought a guest headboard off of Wayfair. (Though paired with an expensive duvet set.) I have a leftover chest of drawer I bought a decade ago from Ikea that I bought for a rental that was unique. I have kept that. I have a blanket for my dog that I got on Amazon. My kids love it so much I bought each of them their own. Great for cuddling during downtime. But anything of note is expensive. I will add, that most of these things have been accumulated over the life of our marriage. So while we have a lot of expensive art and pieces of furniture, we started buying early, one splurge at a time. For several years while DH was traveling extensively for work, and pre-kids, we bought art instead of taking big trips. And we buy timeless pieces of furniture that don't go out of style. I have bought quite a bit through places like 1stDibs or Chairish. I use my silverware for every day and put it in the dishwasher.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think anybody “flaunts” it, people just buy/do expensive things. For themselves or their rich friends to whom it’s a hobby, not a flaunt.

Oh, people definitely flaunt it.

Take your family on a luxurious trip to Europe: just living the high life.
Post photos of said trip on social media: flaunting it.

So someone who takes a budget trip to Europe and posts on social media is "not flaunting it" but someone who takes a luxurious trip is? Remember for them, that is simply their major vacation for the year and they want to share it with their friends and family just the same as someone does if they go to DELMARVA beach for a week and rents a condo. It's not always flaunting it, it's just them living their life.

+1. Believe it or not - it is not always about you!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think anybody “flaunts” it, people just buy/do expensive things. For themselves or their rich friends to whom it’s a hobby, not a flaunt.

Oh, people definitely flaunt it.

Take your family on a luxurious trip to Europe: just living the high life.
Post photos of said trip on social media: flaunting it.

So someone who takes a budget trip to Europe and posts on social media is "not flaunting it" but someone who takes a luxurious trip is? Remember for them, that is simply their major vacation for the year and they want to share it with their friends and family just the same as someone does if they go to DELMARVA beach for a week and rents a condo. It's not always flaunting it, it's just them living their life.

Anonymous wrote:If someone is going to feel contempt about what you spend your money on, ditch them quick.

x100000

No one knows for sure what we are or are not worth, and we like it that way - it is not anyone's business. We help whomever is not a social climber, and we disdain social climbers, because they come across as desperate, greedy, ungrateful, needy grifters, and only seem to care about things, not people. Of course, they only want to hang out with people they think have XX amount of money - which is as abhorrent and tiresome as it sounds. They are too absorbed in what others think of them, and are trying to generally keep up with their wealthy family members, or trying to bilk someone they disdain out of what they think that person has. They also have a tendency to try to compete with others not on their level. So gross.

Those are the same people who expect "the best of everything", yet don't care to actually work for it. One example: When we travel, we don't spring for the most expensive places - on the contrary. We know what we like, we know what we are willing to spend money on, and we are wise about it. I think having common sense, book smarts, street smarts and reading people extremely well, are gifts that not many people have, and are priceless.

Someone who counts other people's pennies are much more obvious than they think they are, and generally have ill intent. No thank you. Give me people who are self made and down to earth any day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm low-key, and my DH flaunts it. For example, he drives a luxury car, and I don't; he joined an expensive golf club. He "needs" to live in a very expensive house that is too big for our needs. We are barely wealthy (think $5m net worth). Over the years, I've accepted the way he is, and just have my emergency fund he doesn't see, so if s*** hits the fan, I can float us for a while so we can sell our house, his car, and get out of memberships.

Did you grow up poor?

I'd think it's the other way around.

You are correct.

I mean, sure but nothing you described are massive budget busters. They only seem fancy to people who never had them. Unless your house is a real whopper, a luxury car and a CCC membership doesn’t scare me.

Our house and mortgage are a whopper. If anything happens to him (job loss, disability, death), I'd need to liquidate within six months. Sure, we have insurance, but I anticipate a legal mess with his family members. I'd rather live more simply, but my secret emergency fund, my retirement savings, and college funds for the kids provide peace of mind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm low-key, and my DH flaunts it. For example, he drives a luxury car, and I don't; he joined an expensive golf club. He "needs" to live in a very expensive house that is too big for our needs. We are barely wealthy (think $5m net worth). Over the years, I've accepted the way he is, and just have my emergency fund he doesn't see, so if s*** hits the fan, I can float us for a while so we can sell our house, his car, and get out of memberships.

Did you grow up poor?

I'd think it's the other way around.

You are correct.

I mean, sure but nothing you described are massive budget busters. They only seem fancy to people who never had them. Unless your house is a real whopper, a luxury car and a CCC membership doesn’t scare me.

Anonymous wrote:Very low key. I live in a cheap $2,000 a month apartment. Drive an old car and I'm not flashy at all.

With that being said, I'd like to buy a place however when I look there are just really, really crappy houses and I would like to spend only about $500,000.

What will you do with your money? Give it all away?

Anonymous wrote:Flashy? No. Is it clear I have money, yes. Everything subtle and tasteful, but always expensive.

*everything* is expensive??

Anonymous wrote:We don’t flaunt it at all but we don’t hide it. We live very comfortably but well below our means. If you make a million but live on $100,000 what’s the point of making a million.

Planning for the worst? Not a good way to live but I know how my lifes gone thus far....