I think rec is fine for before age 10 and after age 15. It's that in-between 10 to 15 age range that the teams are very different. By age 15 a lot of kids have dropped sports or dialed down for other interests in high school so the rec teams get better.

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Anonymous wrote:Not travel, but I can't believe the 6th school basketball team plays three games per week during the season. If you add practices, how does a 6th grader have the time or energy to do another activity (like music or math) and still get homework done? With all these activities, when do kids even have the time to get addicted to phones and video games?

Basically the kids these days don’t know how to be bored. They’re either in their structured activities or on screens.

Actually it’s the other way around screens changed childhood if they are not in an activity they are on screens even if you are one of the families that limits screen time all of the families around you don’t. Therefore, you have three choices one let your kid be on screens all day, 2 be the parent that takes one for the whole neighborhood and gets the kids together for activities that you run or three drop your kid off at an activity for an hour or two (I guess there is a forth option to allow your kid the wander around the house for hours). I’ve done option 2&3 and I can tell you 3 is a hell of a lot easier.

What do your kids outside of structure activities and screens?

Do kids really not play or hang out, whatever they call it with friends in person anymore? That was a huge part of my childhood.

When kids hang out now they are like zombies on screens

Using their brain and not their feet is the opposite of zombie.

Anonymous wrote:NP. As a rec parent, my goal with DD is just for her to learn some basics of the game and get some exercise. I would rather she be focused on academics, not athletics. Signed- Nerd who outearns all the jocks from my high school.

Nobody wants to be a nasty troll like you.

I appreciate the insights here. I signed my kid up for a rec league in the fall and was begged by the commissioner to take on an assistant coach role, even though I had no experience in the sport. There was supposed to be a head coach, but he was only there half the time. Most of the parents understood that I was just stepping up into a role they didn’t want, but one of them was frustrated I wasn’t doing a better job running practices and teaching their kid more fundamentals.

I don’t have great executive functioning skills and am an introvert, so I fit more along the lines of the not-committed parents that a PP listed. It was a big stretch for me to take on the role of the head coach once the other guy dropped out. Every game we were scrambling to find enough equipment, and it was very stressful. Parents had their players thank me at the end of each game, but I didn’t get a sense that they themselves were grateful for my stepping up; maybe they just assumed I was doing it for the love of the game?

I like the idea and philosophy of rec leagues, but I saw firsthand how they need some diehard, experienced-in-the-sport parent coaches, who have time and patience, to actually function. I kind of wish I wasn’t already signed up to coach the same team this spring; I have already started getting parent emails asking me about schedules, and I’m like, “I don’t know; this rec league is so janky that they don’t even text the coaches when they cancel games for weather the morning of.”

NP. As a rec parent, my goal with DD is just for her to learn some basics of the game and get some exercise. I would rather she be focused on academics, not athletics. Signed- Nerd who outearns all the jocks from my high school.

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Anonymous wrote:Not travel, but I can't believe the 6th school basketball team plays three games per week during the season. If you add practices, how does a 6th grader have the time or energy to do another activity (like music or math) and still get homework done? With all these activities, when do kids even have the time to get addicted to phones and video games?

Basically the kids these days don’t know how to be bored. They’re either in their structured activities or on screens.

Actually it’s the other way around screens changed childhood if they are not in an activity they are on screens even if you are one of the families that limits screen time all of the families around you don’t. Therefore, you have three choices one let your kid be on screens all day, 2 be the parent that takes one for the whole neighborhood and gets the kids together for activities that you run or three drop your kid off at an activity for an hour or two (I guess there is a forth option to allow your kid the wander around the house for hours). I’ve done option 2&3 and I can tell you 3 is a hell of a lot easier.

What do your kids outside of structure activities and screens?

When they were little we did a lot - zoo, fishing, golf, canoeing, yard work, crafts minor repairs to the house. As they got older thet could run around with friends but it was frustrating because they would eventually go to a friend’s house and be back on screens. If you are trying to have a kid who has an experience with real life you have to be an intentional parent.

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Anonymous wrote:Not travel, but I can't believe the 6th school basketball team plays three games per week during the season. If you add practices, how does a 6th grader have the time or energy to do another activity (like music or math) and still get homework done? With all these activities, when do kids even have the time to get addicted to phones and video games?

Basically the kids these days don’t know how to be bored. They’re either in their structured activities or on screens.

Actually it’s the other way around screens changed childhood if they are not in an activity they are on screens even if you are one of the families that limits screen time all of the families around you don’t. Therefore, you have three choices one let your kid be on screens all day, 2 be the parent that takes one for the whole neighborhood and gets the kids together for activities that you run or three drop your kid off at an activity for an hour or two (I guess there is a forth option to allow your kid the wander around the house for hours). I’ve done option 2&3 and I can tell you 3 is a hell of a lot easier.

What do your kids outside of structure activities and screens?

Do kids really not play or hang out, whatever they call it with friends in person anymore? That was a huge part of my childhood.

As someone who really tries to limit my kids’ screens, let me tell you it’s a tough battle and it gets worse as they get close to college. Kids these days really are different in terms of how much of their social life is lived on Snapchat and texts.

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Anonymous wrote:I don't get why so many parents are signing their youth kids up for travel. Are rec and local teams terrible from 2nd grade and on? Does every halfway decent kid have to join a travel team if they want to play?

If you have a dedicated athlete, then yes, you really do need to go to travel and club to get the training you need and yes for some kids, for some sports and in some areas, that would mean a transition in 2nd grade.

In what sport would a child need to “transition” into the more expensive and more hours program?

Depends on where you live and what sport it is. In some areas, rec lacrosse might be really strong and in others, even at age 10 they are still learning to cradle. In others, you might have a powerful rec program that gets you nearly to middle school.

In something like fencing, you really need to be getting private training from the very beginning if you want to compete.

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Anonymous wrote:I don't get why so many parents are signing their youth kids up for travel. Are rec and local teams terrible from 2nd grade and on? Does every halfway decent kid have to join a travel team if they want to play?

If you have a dedicated athlete, then yes, you really do need to go to travel and club to get the training you need and yes for some kids, for some sports and in some areas, that would mean a transition in 2nd grade.

In what sport would a child need to “transition” into the more expensive and more hours program?

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Anonymous wrote:Not travel, but I can't believe the 6th school basketball team plays three games per week during the season. If you add practices, how does a 6th grader have the time or energy to do another activity (like music or math) and still get homework done? With all these activities, when do kids even have the time to get addicted to phones and video games?

Basically the kids these days don’t know how to be bored. They’re either in their structured activities or on screens.

Actually it’s the other way around screens changed childhood if they are not in an activity they are on screens even if you are one of the families that limits screen time all of the families around you don’t. Therefore, you have three choices one let your kid be on screens all day, 2 be the parent that takes one for the whole neighborhood and gets the kids together for activities that you run or three drop your kid off at an activity for an hour or two (I guess there is a forth option to allow your kid the wander around the house for hours). I’ve done option 2&3 and I can tell you 3 is a hell of a lot easier.

What do your kids outside of structure activities and screens?

Do kids really not play or hang out, whatever they call it with friends in person anymore? That was a huge part of my childhood.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not travel, but I can't believe the 6th school basketball team plays three games per week during the season. If you add practices, how does a 6th grader have the time or energy to do another activity (like music or math) and still get homework done? With all these activities, when do kids even have the time to get addicted to phones and video games?

Basically the kids these days don’t know how to be bored. They’re either in their structured activities or on screens.

Actually it’s the other way around screens changed childhood if they are not in an activity they are on screens even if you are one of the families that limits screen time all of the families around you don’t. Therefore, you have three choices one let your kid be on screens all day, 2 be the parent that takes one for the whole neighborhood and gets the kids together for activities that you run or three drop your kid off at an activity for an hour or two (I guess there is a forth option to allow your kid the wander around the house for hours). I’ve done option 2&3 and I can tell you 3 is a hell of a lot easier.

What do your kids outside of structure activities and screens?

Anonymous wrote:Travel sports became a big cash cow industry. Around here - anyone can pay to have their kid on a travel team and it doesn’t mean that their kid is a spectacularly good athlete. I’m not sure that answers your question but I think you just have to kind of not worry about what everyone else is doing.

Ivy admissions are a lottery these days and no one should realistically plan their childhood around that as a goal.

This. The number of travel sports teams has increased exponentially with the number of parents willing to pay exorbitant amounts to have their kid do something that sounds like it’s prestigious.

Drama on travel teams can also be terrible especially if coaches are allowed to give private lessons - guess which players they favor - the kids’ who pay them hundreds of extra dollars.

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Anonymous wrote:Not travel, but I can't believe the 6th school basketball team plays three games per week during the season. If you add practices, how does a 6th grader have the time or energy to do another activity (like music or math) and still get homework done? With all these activities, when do kids even have the time to get addicted to phones and video games?

I don’t think you’re doing the math right. There are 168 hours in a week. Hopefully your child is getting 10 hours a night so that leaves you with 98 hours. If they spend 10 hours a day at school and aftercare (and hopefull they’re not) that leaves you with 48 hours (of course this doesn’t apply to summer, school breaks and random school holidays). Even if you did sports for 2 hours a day (and few kids are doing that much) that leaves you with 35 free hours a week.

Another way to look at that is a very active team practices no more than 4 times a week with practices being 1.5 hours throw in 2 games at approximately an hour you’re looking at total practice and game time at 8 hours of physical activity. Or less than 10% of total waking time.

If you have an active family (hiking 5ks etc) maybe you don’t need that much to get your kids in good shape but a lot of people do.

This doesn’t make sense. You don’t account for any other activities, like eating, bathroom time, driving, getting ready and unpacking, chores… if practice starts at 4:30 and runs an hr and a half, that’s 6pm. Come home and change/shower and eat dinner it’s 7pm or 7:30. Add an hour of instrument practice or another activity or both. That leaves only 1-2 hours for homework, chores, TV or computer time, getting packed for the next day, or just hanging out. Not a lot of time. And it’s less time than that if there’s a game.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why so many parents are signing their youth kids up for travel. Are rec and local teams terrible from 2nd grade and on? Does every halfway decent kid have to join a travel team if they want to play?

As a parent heavily involved in our rec league and with 3 kids playing rec, the answer is yes. When everyone good leaves for travel, it's hard on the kids who legitimately care and want to play who stay in rec for whatever reason. You find a unicorn team where the players are really working and the coaching is good, but so often it's something parents seem to view as extra babysitting. They aren't fun to sit on the sidelines with because they aren't even there, they don't help out with much (leading to burnout for the few volunteers who do step up), and they don't care if their kids don't care and take the whole team down with a bad attitude. Joy.

This is so accurate.

Travel (“travel”- they don’t actually go far) in our town is so close and so accessible in terms of distance, abilities accepted, and cost that almost everyone does it. Rec is just a few dedicated families who have always been coaches/volunteers in our town and some diehard crunchy families who are really gung-ho about community sports leagues. The rest of the people are:

-executive functioning-challenged parents- would never be able to commit to travel and rarely figure out the rec schedule. Their kids show up infrequently and often missing key items…like cleats and game jerseys. Everyone bends over backwards to make it work for the kids but the parents never improve

-parents who are really introverted/isolated and don’t want to carpool, volunteer, do snacks, etc. Rec is the outer limits of their ability to participate in community activities.

-parents who don’t want their kid to do the sport and their kid doesn’t want to do the sport, but they have other kids and need to have them in x place at y time, so the rec sport is easy babysitting.

This is so true. After the first disastrous game, my 8 year old pulled me aside and said “this team is a bunch of misfits”. He was so right. It was all travel after that.