Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My high schooler came home announcing he was given a n-word pass by his black friends. He at the record straight- he does not have a pass and better never use that word. It’s frustrating to teach your kids how offensive that word is only for them to be around other kids that use is regularly. I wish that word would go away.

Don't be frustrated, be educated.
How do black people use the word? To claim it, denote a shared historical experience, and change its power.
How do non-black people use the word? To demean black people.

Get out of here with your 1961-era ignorance.

What? And what is your 2024 version of this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My high schooler came home announcing he was given a n-word pass by his black friends. He at the record straight- he does not have a pass and better never use that word. It’s frustrating to teach your kids how offensive that word is only for them to be around other kids that use is regularly. I wish that word would go away.

You need to teach more than not to use the word. You need to teach them about actual history. Your frustration will then pale in comparison

Exactly. Unless we are talking about very young children (5 or 6?) who may not grasp the issues, I promise you that kids 9 and up understand the difference when in-group people use a word that is not ok for others to use. Literally my kids have never asked why they can’t use the n word but Black friend / classmate can.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see why the passes would be attractive to kids. The word has almost magical powers. The kid giving the pass has access to the power and can grant it, and the kid receiving the pass can try it out without fear.

Really? Because I don't see it. But I've never wanted to use that word, so I guess to each their own.

+1. Without fear? Why would someone want to try it out? And wait until someone films a kid using the word and sends it out on their phone. I would not accept anyone's permission to be racist. Because I'm not.

IT'S NOT RACIST

That's the point.

But idiots think it is racist.

That's also the point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My high schooler came home announcing he was given a n-word pass by his black friends. He at the record straight- he does not have a pass and better never use that word. It’s frustrating to teach your kids how offensive that word is only for them to be around other kids that use is regularly. I wish that word would go away.

Don't be frustrated, be educated.
How do black people use the word? To claim it, denote a shared historical experience, and change its power.
How do non-black people use the word? To demean black people.

Get out of here with your 1961-era ignorance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see why the passes would be attractive to kids. The word has almost magical powers. The kid giving the pass has access to the power and can grant it, and the kid receiving the pass can try it out without fear.

Really? Because I don't see it. But I've never wanted to use that word, so I guess to each their own.

+1. Without fear? Why would someone want to try it out? And wait until someone films a kid using the word and sends it out on their phone. I would not accept anyone's permission to be racist. Because I'm not.

I would guess most people here are adults who would not like to use the word. I hope. But we are talking about kids—the same kids who respond to “don’t touch that” by touching the thing. The same kids who are testing boundaries. You tell them not to say something, and it gives extreme power to the word. It’s like Voldemort. What will happen? Something? Nothing? I just don’t blame kids for acting like kids.

These kids are not asking for permission to “be racist” if I’m understanding correctly. They’re not giving passes to call someone that word. The Black kids (at least I hope it’s only Black kids) are “allowing” the white/non-Black kids to say a forbidden word out loud.

To be clear, of course I tell my kids to never ever say it and warn them of the potential consequences.

I agree with this. Elementary age kids have been on earth less than a decade for the most part. They don’t have all the societal experiences and understandings we adults have even if they’ve been taught theoretically about racism.

I imagine there is an element of peer pressure to these passes. First of all it feels good to be accepted. Being given a “pass” by Black friends implies they are part of that group and not an outsider who cannot use the word. And second there is a desire to fit in. If a friend is encouraging them to say the word they may not want to disappoint or appear to be too chicken to say it.

So I can totally see the nuance here and why a complex discussion of social issues could be needed if your kid comes home with one of these “passes.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wildly inappropriate. Nobody should be saying the n-word at all, except Black separatists. N-word is a consolation prize for being outside mainstream society.
Anyone who wants to be a part of mainstream society, Black or non-Black, shouldn't use it.

White parents are telling their kids not to use the n-word. What about black parents?

My kid said a friend gave him an “n-card” and it was so confusing for him because he felt like his friend had more say in it than we did because he was black.

Teach your child American history and about the black experience in America. If your child sees his peers as having more authority than you, then, added with him courting use of the n word, you have a serious problem on your hands.

We say “don’t use the n-word because it’s derogatory”.

Black friend says “you’re cool, it’s ok to use it”.

It’s confusing for young kids.

Troll score: 2 out of 5

Sadly, this actually is happening. And parents who don’t think their kids friends have more influence than parents by 6th grade are gravely mistaken.

Yes, kids (especially middle school students) are using this terminology of "N pass." It happened to my child. A black peer tells a white peer to "say the N word, I give you a N pass." Of course it is wrong and derogatory for anyone to utter those words. It is also wrong for the kids going around "giving N passes." That is wrong too. Kids (especially middle school students) are learning social norms, right versus wrong, and trying to find their place in the world. They are heavily heavily influenced by peers.

Anyways, yes this is a thing. More common than people realize.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see why the passes would be attractive to kids. The word has almost magical powers. The kid giving the pass has access to the power and can grant it, and the kid receiving the pass can try it out without fear.

Really? Because I don't see it. But I've never wanted to use that word, so I guess to each their own.

+1. Without fear? Why would someone want to try it out? And wait until someone films a kid using the word and sends it out on their phone. I would not accept anyone's permission to be racist. Because I'm not.

I would guess most people here are adults who would not like to use the word. I hope. But we are talking about kids—the same kids who respond to “don’t touch that” by touching the thing. The same kids who are testing boundaries. You tell them not to say something, and it gives extreme power to the word. It’s like Voldemort. What will happen? Something? Nothing? I just don’t blame kids for acting like kids.

These kids are not asking for permission to “be racist” if I’m understanding correctly. They’re not giving passes to call someone that word. The Black kids (at least I hope it’s only Black kids) are “allowing” the white/non-Black kids to say a forbidden word out loud.

To be clear, of course I tell my kids to never ever say it and warn them of the potential consequences.

Never heard of this at my child's elementary school, and both of my children know that that is a word they can never, ever say. We are white. They sing a lot of songs and rap music and that is one word that they skip over if it comes up as a lyric.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see why the passes would be attractive to kids. The word has almost magical powers. The kid giving the pass has access to the power and can grant it, and the kid receiving the pass can try it out without fear.

Really? Because I don't see it. But I've never wanted to use that word, so I guess to each their own.

+1. Without fear? Why would someone want to try it out? And wait until someone films a kid using the word and sends it out on their phone. I would not accept anyone's permission to be racist. Because I'm not.

Anonymous wrote:My high schooler came home announcing he was given a n-word pass by his black friends. He at the record straight- he does not have a pass and better never use that word. It’s frustrating to teach your kids how offensive that word is only for them to be around other kids that use is regularly. I wish that word would go away.

You need to teach more than not to use the word. You need to teach them about actual history. Your frustration will then pale in comparison

Anonymous wrote:My high schooler came home announcing he was given a n-word pass by his black friends. He at the record straight- he does not have a pass and better never use that word. It’s frustrating to teach your kids how offensive that word is only for them to be around other kids that use is regularly. I wish that word would go away.

Don't be frustrated, be educated.
How do black people use the word? To claim it, denote a shared historical experience, and change its power.
How do non-black people use the word? To demean black people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see why the passes would be attractive to kids. The word has almost magical powers. The kid giving the pass has access to the power and can grant it, and the kid receiving the pass can try it out without fear.

Really? Because I don't see it. But I've never wanted to use that word, so I guess to each their own.

You’re a saint, and anyone who might fall short of your ideal—aka thinking about a “banned” word—is obviously a racist and irredeemable.

Racism is still alive and well

My daughter has a small group of friends, six of them. She had some trouble this year with a Black boy in the same grade. Her five friends are Black and she’s White. The boy was trying to convince the other girls to drop the “goofy White cracker.” He was calling her a White devil.

I was watching a documentary with her about the civil rights era in the South. They were interviewing a small town Mississippi sheriff and he kept using the word N@gger. My daughter asked me why he pronounced it with an ER at the end. I asked her where she heard it the other way. She said the kids in the back of the bus are always yelling and screaming and they use the word.

I was able to talk to her about Malcolm X and segregation in the South to show her where these slurs come from. I do worry that it will get worse as they get older.

My high schooler came home announcing he was given a n-word pass by his black friends. He at the record straight- he does not have a pass and better never use that word. It’s frustrating to teach your kids how offensive that word is only for them to be around other kids that use is regularly. I wish that word would go away.

Anonymous wrote:I can see why the passes would be attractive to kids. The word has almost magical powers. The kid giving the pass has access to the power and can grant it, and the kid receiving the pass can try it out without fear.

Really? Because I don't see it. But I've never wanted to use that word, so I guess to each their own.