Anonymous wrote:OP here, yesterday was a disaster, so we're hitting pause for a bit. Should I be starting when she's showing signs or just have another go when we have spring break

Sorry that it was difficult, but consider keeping at it. What you're teaching your kid is that they just have to get through one day and you'll give in and give back the history. Your making it harder for yourself the next time. Barring special needs, your kid is 3. There's no "they'll be ready in a few months but aren't yet" at play here.

OP here, yesterday was a disaster, so we're hitting pause for a bit. Should I be starting when she's showing signs or just have another go when we have spring break

Op do you have a 3 day weekend this weekend? That would be a good time to go without anything and try the day method.

Otherwise wait until you can vacation in April and do it then.

Alternatively outsource everything during the evenings - take out, meal delivery, drop off laundry, don't go to clubs and activities. Hire help for the baby. Pick up early from DC if possible and commit.

Poor kid is getting so many mixed messages and she's not even into it.

Also I would go hard with reward chart or prizes at 3. It's an easy motivator for them. Ask me to go pee, go sit and yes you can have an Oreo and evening episode of bluey, a sticker -whatever motivates your child.

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Anonymous wrote:Not great, seems when we can't do it in the week we start from the beginning again. I've taken her every 30 mins and we've had a couple of successes, but we've had a couple of accidents as well after sitting for 10 minutes which has been frustrating. I'm not so sure why she isn't ready when we take her for the accidents.

She's seems to be starting to develop a fever, so she's not as full of energy compared to last weekend, but we'll keep trying

She’s not ready. Try again in a few months. You’re making it stressful for her and for yourself.

Op here - she needs to do it by Fall, about half the people I speak to say it was stressful. She's 3 now and that's too old?

We didn't get much further on Sunday. We've not had a chance to work on it over the last two evenings, but will try and go naked and on a timer this evening

Between now and the fall is a lot of time. She will mature, and her body will be rapidly changing between now and then. I’ll reiterate that it doesn’t sound like she’s ready nor you’re ready and if she’s not telling you, she needs to go to the bathroom when you’re not pushing her then you’re setting each other up for failure. Try again in two months.

Op here Should I be speaking to a doctor if she's not ready at 3, sorry all the books and information I've read have had this as the top end for the range. We will try again this weekend, but if we don't get there we'll hit pause as it is getting me upset I can't support her and teach her through this and I really don't want to pass that onto her

DP. I can’t speak to the age appropriateness (but I’m always pro ask your doctor to confirm/deny whatever the internet tells you), but I will say this: potty training is HARD on parents. There’s literally no way you can connect the dots for your kid since it’s all inside their bodies/brains. And often this is the first time we’ve had this experience with our kids. I really struggled with that aspect (as a parent). Just want to put it out there that your feelings make sense. And also dealing with accidents/the stress of waiting for an accident is extremely wearing. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do and know that this doesn’t make you a crap parent!

OP here, thanks for the kind message, yep it's one of the few things I can try to enable her, but can't do or help her. I'm giving this weekend our all, but if we're not consistent we'll probably pause and pick it up soon

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Anonymous wrote:Not great, seems when we can't do it in the week we start from the beginning again. I've taken her every 30 mins and we've had a couple of successes, but we've had a couple of accidents as well after sitting for 10 minutes which has been frustrating. I'm not so sure why she isn't ready when we take her for the accidents.

She's seems to be starting to develop a fever, so she's not as full of energy compared to last weekend, but we'll keep trying

She’s not ready. Try again in a few months. You’re making it stressful for her and for yourself.

Op here - she needs to do it by Fall, about half the people I speak to say it was stressful. She's 3 now and that's too old?

We didn't get much further on Sunday. We've not had a chance to work on it over the last two evenings, but will try and go naked and on a timer this evening

Between now and the fall is a lot of time. She will mature, and her body will be rapidly changing between now and then. I’ll reiterate that it doesn’t sound like she’s ready nor you’re ready and if she’s not telling you, she needs to go to the bathroom when you’re not pushing her then you’re setting each other up for failure. Try again in two months.

Op here Should I be speaking to a doctor if she's not ready at 3, sorry all the books and information I've read have had this as the top end for the range. We will try again this weekend, but if we don't get there we'll hit pause as it is getting me upset I can't support her and teach her through this and I really don't want to pass that onto her

It can’t hurt to talk to her pediatrician.

Try only if you will be home all weekend- no shopping or going out. You will need to dedicate 100% of your attention to her.

OP, sorry this all sounds so miserable.

Maybe you should give it a break for a couple months? Granted our DD was much younger, but we took a break for a month or so when DD would get inconsolable every time we offered her the potty. When we gently brought it back up again, she agreed and pretty much potty trained herself in three days.

Good luck!

I had success sending my kid in a pull up with undies over it. That made a mental difference for my kid.

Also kids will not reliably ask to go potty until 6-8 weeks post training. You and daycare should not rely on the child asking. You should be offering the chance to use the potty at regular intervals aligned to transitions.

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Anonymous wrote:Not great, seems when we can't do it in the week we start from the beginning again. I've taken her every 30 mins and we've had a couple of successes, but we've had a couple of accidents as well after sitting for 10 minutes which has been frustrating. I'm not so sure why she isn't ready when we take her for the accidents.

She's seems to be starting to develop a fever, so she's not as full of energy compared to last weekend, but we'll keep trying

She’s not ready. Try again in a few months. You’re making it stressful for her and for yourself.

Op here - she needs to do it by Fall, about half the people I speak to say it was stressful. She's 3 now and that's too old?

We didn't get much further on Sunday. We've not had a chance to work on it over the last two evenings, but will try and go naked and on a timer this evening

Between now and the fall is a lot of time. She will mature, and her body will be rapidly changing between now and then. I’ll reiterate that it doesn’t sound like she’s ready nor you’re ready and if she’s not telling you, she needs to go to the bathroom when you’re not pushing her then you’re setting each other up for failure. Try again in two months.

Op here Should I be speaking to a doctor if she's not ready at 3, sorry all the books and information I've read have had this as the top end for the range. We will try again this weekend, but if we don't get there we'll hit pause as it is getting me upset I can't support her and teach her through this and I really don't want to pass that onto her

DP. I can’t speak to the age appropriateness (but I’m always pro ask your doctor to confirm/deny whatever the internet tells you), but I will say this: potty training is HARD on parents. There’s literally no way you can connect the dots for your kid since it’s all inside their bodies/brains. And often this is the first time we’ve had this experience with our kids. I really struggled with that aspect (as a parent). Just want to put it out there that your feelings make sense. And also dealing with accidents/the stress of waiting for an accident is extremely wearing. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do and know that this doesn’t make you a crap parent!

Anonymous wrote:We've been potty training our now 3 year old. She's doing okay at home, we've been in pants and had some success. We still use pull ups when out but she's good and has more success than accidents.

We send her to pull ups at daycre until she's a little more reliable as per policy requirements. However we've found they've been putting her in diapers throughout the day and it's started to cause huge regression back to limited success at home. How do I challenge daycare about this? Is there a reason they'd be doing this?

Why should daycare be expected to potty train your child?

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Anonymous wrote:Not great, seems when we can't do it in the week we start from the beginning again. I've taken her every 30 mins and we've had a couple of successes, but we've had a couple of accidents as well after sitting for 10 minutes which has been frustrating. I'm not so sure why she isn't ready when we take her for the accidents.

She's seems to be starting to develop a fever, so she's not as full of energy compared to last weekend, but we'll keep trying

She’s not ready. Try again in a few months. You’re making it stressful for her and for yourself.

Op here - she needs to do it by Fall, about half the people I speak to say it was stressful. She's 3 now and that's too old?

We didn't get much further on Sunday. We've not had a chance to work on it over the last two evenings, but will try and go naked and on a timer this evening

Between now and the fall is a lot of time. She will mature, and her body will be rapidly changing between now and then. I’ll reiterate that it doesn’t sound like she’s ready nor you’re ready and if she’s not telling you, she needs to go to the bathroom when you’re not pushing her then you’re setting each other up for failure. Try again in two months.

Op here Should I be speaking to a doctor if she's not ready at 3, sorry all the books and information I've read have had this as the top end for the range. We will try again this weekend, but if we don't get there we'll hit pause as it is getting me upset I can't support her and teach her through this and I really don't want to pass that onto her

Anonymous wrote:OP what happens when she just has an accident in her underwear/pants? We never did the full naked approach, but I think the point is for the kid to feel that they're wet/uncomfortable.

Op here we've had her clothed in underwear and pants and have had less success like that. We'd normally had better weekends than last weekend. She gets incredibly upset about it but when having an accident tends to not react until she's already soaked. We've done rewards, but we also do consequences, not punishment, but get her involved cleaning up, throwing cleaning stuff in thegarbage, clothes in the washing machine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not great, seems when we can't do it in the week we start from the beginning again. I've taken her every 30 mins and we've had a couple of successes, but we've had a couple of accidents as well after sitting for 10 minutes which has been frustrating. I'm not so sure why she isn't ready when we take her for the accidents.

She's seems to be starting to develop a fever, so she's not as full of energy compared to last weekend, but we'll keep trying

She’s not ready. Try again in a few months. You’re making it stressful for her and for yourself.

Op here - she needs to do it by Fall, about half the people I speak to say it was stressful. She's 3 now and that's too old?

We didn't get much further on Sunday. We've not had a chance to work on it over the last two evenings, but will try and go naked and on a timer this evening

Between now and the fall is a lot of time. She will mature, and her body will be rapidly changing between now and then. I’ll reiterate that it doesn’t sound like she’s ready nor you’re ready and if she’s not telling you, she needs to go to the bathroom when you’re not pushing her then you’re setting each other up for failure. Try again in two months.

OP what happens when she just has an accident in her underwear/pants? We never did the full naked approach, but I think the point is for the kid to feel that they're wet/uncomfortable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not great, seems when we can't do it in the week we start from the beginning again. I've taken her every 30 mins and we've had a couple of successes, but we've had a couple of accidents as well after sitting for 10 minutes which has been frustrating. I'm not so sure why she isn't ready when we take her for the accidents.

She's seems to be starting to develop a fever, so she's not as full of energy compared to last weekend, but we'll keep trying

She’s not ready. Try again in a few months. You’re making it stressful for her and for yourself.

Op here - she needs to do it by Fall, about half the people I speak to say it was stressful. She's 3 now and that's too old?

We didn't get much further on Sunday. We've not had a chance to work on it over the last two evenings, but will try and go naked and on a timer this evening

FWIW, I think age 3 is fine and don’t give anyone props for training earlier. I think it’s about timing and convenience of whole family.