Anonymous
Post 01/27/2024 10:50     Subject: I'm so sad for my kid
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Right there with you. Deferred from Michigan -- legacy, NYC private, all the right stats and ECs and just a kid who worked so hard. His high school counselor was pushing him to ED a tougher school but he has always wanted Michigan. It's just so hard to see kids who have worked for something not get it. It's ok to be sad for a couple of days (I think it hasn't hit him yet - he's still stunned despite me trying ot prepare him) and then I agree we pull it together and it's onward to the next round. The kicker is, my ds' girlfriend got in, she didn't submit test scores and she doesn't even really want to go. It was a rough night here.


Many deferrals turn into acceptances at Michigan. I’m glad he didn’t ED to a tougher school.


They don’t release those numbers so how would you know if “many deferrals” turn into acceptances?

A deferral is mostly a polite rejection.



Not always! I suggest anyone disappointed about being “postponed” at Michigan should create an account at collegeconfidential.com. Peruse the messages pertaining to the university. There are kind people there who have been on that site for years and will give you some great advise about what your next move should be and what to exoect. EA is not ED! The vast majority of the class is chosen in the RD round, which is where postponements are automatically moved.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2024 10:50     Subject: I'm so sad for my kid
Anonymous wrote:Right there with you. Deferred from Michigan -- legacy, NYC private, all the right stats and ECs and just a kid who worked so hard. His high school counselor was pushing him to ED a tougher school but he has always wanted Michigan. It's just so hard to see kids who have worked for something not get it. It's ok to be sad for a couple of days (I think it hasn't hit him yet - he's still stunned despite me trying ot prepare him) and then I agree we pull it together and it's onward to the next round. The kicker is, my ds' girlfriend got in, she didn't submit test scores and she doesn't even really want to go. It was a rough night here.


My friend’s son - also a legacy, also NYC private - was deferred from UMich last yr and subsequently admitted. He is not a strong student so I was surprised, but I hear they love legacies.

I wouldn’t give up hope yet. Good luck!
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2024 10:48     Subject: I'm so sad for my kid
Anonymous wrote:Play hard the entire 9 innings. Or whatever the sports analogy of your choice.

We're normalized knowing early, but it doesn't matter. I don't even think it's better.

The apps are in. The work is (mostly) done. For people who don't decide during EA/ED rounds, something amazing happens: the power shifts to you.

Before you were courting colleges. Now some of those are courting you (your kid). That's a good time. DOn't miss it.

Kids with decisions are decided. They watch other kids go off to accepted students weekend and even get more options rolling in. This is where buyers remorse sets it.

This won't end perfectly, but it will be fine. Sulk today. Then tomorrow set out a plan for the 4th quarter (or whatever your sport metaphor). Put the dates into your calendar for accepted students weekend at UGA and MD and have him GO. Buy the plane tickets. Then email the college counselor and say, we want to push for WI and MI. You should ask for best plan - is there any way they can vouch for you, does one school have better odds than the other. The schools themselves are usually pretty clear on what they want.

It's January. It won't be perfect, but you'll be happy - or at peace - in May.


Thank you for this thoughtful and balanced advice. I love the sports analogies.

DC was rejected EA from one of the schools that released yesterday. It was a top choice. The rejection wasn't a surprise, but it still stings. DC cast a wide net with some reaches/high reaches (including yesterday's school), and plenty of targets and safeties.

I really do appreciate your point that the power shifts to the students who don't decide during these ED/EA rounds. I will keep that in mind as we move forward in this process.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2024 10:40     Subject: I'm so sad for my kid
Nobody OOS should expect admission to TX. Particularly for hot majors. May as well apply to some IVys.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2024 10:29     Subject: I'm so sad for my kid
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with UMD? It's a good school. OP is feeling miserable for no reason.


He doesn't want to go there. Isn't remotely excited. Likes UGA so it will be fine. Just disappointed about wisco. Don't care about Michigan.


Seems like a decent outcome... UGA is great! I understand that he can't see it now... and a lot of our kids including mine are in the same boat with deferrals to their top choice. Tough to see but they will all be fine come September. At least yours has a clear number two... mine is going to be agonizing among three or four options until May 1, I fear.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2024 10:23     Subject: I'm so sad for my kid
Anonymous wrote:Sorry but I’m not shedding any tears for anyone who is “so sad” that their kid only has excellent choices instead of every choice he wanted. If this is the worst thing that ever happens to you both you are damned lucky.


Agreed. We should find the person the world who has it the worst. That’s the only person we’re allowed to have sympathy for since everyone has it better. There’s a limited amount of empathy we can have; need to conserve it for the truly needy.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2024 10:19     Subject: I'm so sad for my kid
Sorry but I’m not shedding any tears for anyone who is “so sad” that their kid only has excellent choices instead of every choice he wanted. If this is the worst thing that ever happens to you both you are damned lucky.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2024 10:19     Subject: I'm so sad for my kid
Anonymous wrote:Play hard the entire 9 innings. Or whatever the sports analogy of your choice.

We're normalized knowing early, but it doesn't matter. I don't even think it's better.

The apps are in. The work is (mostly) done. For people who don't decide during EA/ED rounds, something amazing happens: the power shifts to you.

Before you were courting colleges. Now some of those are courting you (your kid). That's a good time. DOn't miss it.

Kids with decisions are decided. They watch other kids go off to accepted students weekend and even get more options rolling in. This is where buyers remorse sets it.

This won't end perfectly, but it will be fine. Sulk today. Then tomorrow set out a plan for the 4th quarter (or whatever your sport metaphor). Put the dates into your calendar for accepted students weekend at UGA and MD and have him GO. Buy the plane tickets. Then email the college counselor and say, we want to push for WI and MI. You should ask for best plan - is there any way they can vouch for you, does one school have better odds than the other. The schools themselves are usually pretty clear on what they want.

It's January. It won't be perfect, but you'll be happy - or at peace - in May.


Meant to add: email counselor and ask for a meeting. talk to him/her face to face. it's better. get that person on your side and clear about priority.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2024 10:17     Subject: I'm so sad for my kid
Play hard the entire 9 innings. Or whatever the sports analogy of your choice.

We're normalized knowing early, but it doesn't matter. I don't even think it's better.

The apps are in. The work is (mostly) done. For people who don't decide during EA/ED rounds, something amazing happens: the power shifts to you.

Before you were courting colleges. Now some of those are courting you (your kid). That's a good time. DOn't miss it.

Kids with decisions are decided. They watch other kids go off to accepted students weekend and even get more options rolling in. This is where buyers remorse sets it.

This won't end perfectly, but it will be fine. Sulk today. Then tomorrow set out a plan for the 4th quarter (or whatever your sport metaphor). Put the dates into your calendar for accepted students weekend at UGA and MD and have him GO. Buy the plane tickets. Then email the college counselor and say, we want to push for WI and MI. You should ask for best plan - is there any way they can vouch for you, does one school have better odds than the other. The schools themselves are usually pretty clear on what they want.

It's January. It won't be perfect, but you'll be happy - or at peace - in May.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2024 10:12     Subject: I'm so sad for my kid
UGA is amazing.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2024 10:08     Subject: I'm so sad for my kid
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He has good options don't get me wrong, but his #1 and 2 were wisconsin and tx. Got deferred to Wisconsin and am expecting a rejection from TX.
(Business major).

Currently his top choice is UGA of one's he's in is UGA. I know it's a bloodbath but the wisconsin one is killing me. Especially because his close friend got in. We visited and loved so much. He even loves the cold lol.

He does currently have straight A's but what else can we do or send? (Was also deferred at Michigan)

Got into UMD but not into. Just a vent. I can't believe we will have no idea where he's going until the spring. So torturous.



Omg he got into your flagship and you are winning about paying financial OOS tuition to crap schools.

This is why colleges cost so much.

What moron pays pos to WI or Texas or even GA for a business major!

First rule of business don’t make dumb financial decision

+1, UMD is well known for Buiness and Finance, CS. What am I missing 😕?


UMD is a good school but it’s not a top choice for business and finance, lol. CS, yes. Business, no.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2024 10:07     Subject: I'm so sad for my kid
I’m sorry, OP. It’s hard to see our kids sad. Please ignore the troll.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2024 10:06     Subject: I'm so sad for my kid
Help your DC get excited about one of the schools where they’re already accepted. DC was deferred and then waitlisted at Wisconsin last year. When offer came in late April they were already mentally committed to a school that accepted them earlier in the process and after a day of consideration ultimately rejected Wisconsin. They’re thriving at the school they chose (I’m not naming as I don’t want trolls who know nothing about our child to trash their decision b/c Wisconsin is so much “better” than where they ultimately decided to go). Focus on fit and acceptances and your child will be fine.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2024 10:00     Subject: I'm so sad for my kid
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with UMD? It's a good school. OP is feeling miserable for no reason.


He doesn't want to go there. Isn't remotely excited. Likes UGA so it will be fine. Just disappointed about wisco. Don't care about Michigan.


Deferred doesn’t mean rejected. Still a chance right ?
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2024 09:55     Subject: Re:I'm so sad for my kid
Anonymous wrote:UGA is better than Wisconsin.


Especially for Business.