Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NONE of these “traditions” matter in the least.

There are no wedding etiquette rules, except those made up by uptight people.

Just do what you want.

There are no rules at all. We don’t even recognize that there are males and females anymore.

I meet men and women every day. If someone asks me to use a different pronoun or something, that’s fine. It’s good MANNERS to respect people’s decisions about themselves. Your sneering attitude is rude, outdated, and is meant to be disrespectful and hurtful. That is the opposite of good manners and etiquette. Those of us with good MANNERS treat other people with dignity and respect.

Nobody cares about manners anymore, that's the point. There are no rules that you can impose on another person.

My mother hosted my bridal shower 30 years ago.

Anonymous wrote:It's tacky. Please get one of her friends or another relative to host. Looks like just a gift grab otherwise.

Yes, the mother of the bride spending thousands on a brunch or whatever just do her daughter can get some crappy gifts off the registry.

No matter how you slice it, a shower is a gift grab. Why does it matter whether the mother or a friend hosts?

I don't see how it matters whether it is hosted by the mother, aunts, or friends. I know some see it being hosted by the mother of the bride as being more tacky/gift grabby, but no matter who hosts that is the purpose; gifts for the bride to be. I think that because it can be so expensive to host mothers have stepped in because lots of times bridesmaids don't have that kind of money or a big enough space. Even if the bridesmaids "host" a lot times the mother of the bride is still the one paying, just putting their names down to avoid the side eyes.

Anonymous wrote:It's tacky. Please get one of her friends or another relative to host. Looks like just a gift grab otherwise.

Isn't it a gift grab no matter who's hosting? I don't understand how it's different if someone other than your mother is paying for the shower.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NONE of these “traditions” matter in the least.

There are no wedding etiquette rules, except those made up by uptight people.

Just do what you want.

And that's why it's fine to attend the wedding (or shower) and not send a gift, if that's what you want. Don't get hung up on other people's rules!

Exactly, it's customary to pay $250/pp as a cash gift? $500 for a couple? No. I don't even know you all or like you that much. I feel $100 from the two of us is generous enough.

Or nothing! Give nothing!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NONE of these “traditions” matter in the least.

There are no wedding etiquette rules, except those made up by uptight people.

Just do what you want.

There are no rules at all. We don’t even recognize that there are males and females anymore.

+1

So sad. No manners, no etiquette.

Good manners and etiquette—which you clearly know nothing about—say that when you receive an invitation, you must promptly and clearly accept or decline. That’s it. To sneer, gossip, and make much of how superior you are for receiving a “tacky” invitation is the opposite of good manners, and demonstrates your complete lack of knowledge about etiquette.

You know, since we’re talking about good manners and etiquette. Just a refresher for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NONE of these “traditions” matter in the least.

There are no wedding etiquette rules, except those made up by uptight people.

Just do what you want.

And that's why it's fine to attend the wedding (or shower) and not send a gift, if that's what you want. Don't get hung up on other people's rules!

Exactly, it's customary to pay $250/pp as a cash gift? $500 for a couple? No. I don't even know you all or like you that much. I feel $100 from the two of us is generous enough.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NONE of these “traditions” matter in the least.

There are no wedding etiquette rules, except those made up by uptight people.

Just do what you want.

There are no rules at all. We don’t even recognize that there are males and females anymore.

I meet men and women every day. If someone asks me to use a different pronoun or something, that’s fine. It’s good MANNERS to respect people’s decisions about themselves. Your sneering attitude is rude, outdated, and is meant to be disrespectful and hurtful. That is the opposite of good manners and etiquette. Those of us with good MANNERS treat other people with dignity and respect.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NONE of these “traditions” matter in the least.

There are no wedding etiquette rules, except those made up by uptight people.

Just do what you want.

There are no rules at all. We don’t even recognize that there are males and females anymore.

+1

So sad. No manners, no etiquette.

OP here- thanks for all the replies— I just love the diversity of opinion and responses from DCUM. Like the idea of cohosting and will run with that. TY!

Anonymous wrote:NONE of these “traditions” matter in the least.

There are no wedding etiquette rules, except those made up by uptight people.

Just do what you want.

And that's why it's fine to attend the wedding (or shower) and not send a gift, if that's what you want. Don't get hung up on other people's rules!

It's tacky. Please get one of her friends or another relative to host. Looks like just a gift grab otherwise.

My MIL hosted an Engagement party which is allowed.

Anonymous wrote:NONE of these “traditions” matter in the least.

There are no wedding etiquette rules, except those made up by uptight people.

Just do what you want.

There are no rules at all. We don’t even recognize that there are males and females anymore.