Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice is to do some self reflection and realize how good you have it. Seriously.

Can you condense two trips into one?

Yes to the bolded. You don't need a different job. You need therapy and a good financial advisor.

Ditto! Get a shrink and a maid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. Yes, I’m the wife. I earn more than my husband, but he does well too. I get to work from home the 25 days I’m not traveling. My kids miss me, but they are busy and happy when I’m not there.

There’s no way I could walk away from this job until college is funded. There’s no job that would even pay me half as much for this type of flexibility and I actually enjoy most of the work. This job is end game for me; my plan is to milk it for as long as I can and then semi-retire and just do fun stuff like freelance writing.

But man - I don’t want to have regrets as a parent. Being financially responsible sucks and I love the romantic idea of quitting, but it just won’t work. I love my kids so so much and it just feels wrong to be away from them. I appreciate the PP who suggested having family events to celebrate when I get back home from a trip. Any and all ideas here are welcome.

So your household income is about $1M. And you WFH 80% of the time. I admit I'm very jealous of your setup. Our combined HHI is half of your income alone, and we barely see our kids between our commutes and "fire drill" long hours. What do you do, I'll happily take your job!

Seriously, this has got to be one of the top crybaby posts in dcum history.

Yeah. Really hard to feel any sympathy. OP take stock of your blessings, for goodness sake. I'm not one who cares about material things but you have a unicorn gig and you come here whining. It's really astounding. Imagine all the jobs people have where they are away from their kids (whether it's for travel or incompatible schedules or hourly jobs that are onsite and inflexible) and don't make a quarter of what you do (military, sales, scheduled work at restaurants or retail, nurses and other jobs with 12 hour or overnight shifts, etc). Your hand wringing is obnoxious.

shaming op for having feelings is really not cool.
just because you earn a lot doesn't mean you have to just be happy about everything. we're all going to die and time is all we have. great if someone pays you a lot for that time, but you still net out with the same feelings.
it's ok for people of all income levels to have problems.

OP's "problem" is that everything isn't exactly perfect. She is making a choice and acting like she doesn't have any choices, and it's obnoxious. Grow up. There are tradeoffs in life, and OP seems to want not to have to make any.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. Yes, I’m the wife. I earn more than my husband, but he does well too. I get to work from home the 25 days I’m not traveling. My kids miss me, but they are busy and happy when I’m not there.

There’s no way I could walk away from this job until college is funded. There’s no job that would even pay me half as much for this type of flexibility and I actually enjoy most of the work. This job is end game for me; my plan is to milk it for as long as I can and then semi-retire and just do fun stuff like freelance writing.

But man - I don’t want to have regrets as a parent. Being financially responsible sucks and I love the romantic idea of quitting, but it just won’t work. I love my kids so so much and it just feels wrong to be away from them. I appreciate the PP who suggested having family events to celebrate when I get back home from a trip. Any and all ideas here are welcome.

So your household income is about $1M. And you WFH 80% of the time. I admit I'm very jealous of your setup. Our combined HHI is half of your income alone, and we barely see our kids between our commutes and "fire drill" long hours. What do you do, I'll happily take your job!

Seriously, this has got to be one of the top crybaby posts in dcum history.

Right? Boo hoo. OP absolutely could quit. She doesn't want to. So own it. That's my advice. Own your choices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. Yes, I’m the wife. I earn more than my husband, but he does well too. I get to work from home the 25 days I’m not traveling. My kids miss me, but they are busy and happy when I’m not there.

There’s no way I could walk away from this job until college is funded. There’s no job that would even pay me half as much for this type of flexibility and I actually enjoy most of the work. This job is end game for me; my plan is to milk it for as long as I can and then semi-retire and just do fun stuff like freelance writing.

But man - I don’t want to have regrets as a parent. Being financially responsible sucks and I love the romantic idea of quitting, but it just won’t work. I love my kids so so much and it just feels wrong to be away from them. I appreciate the PP who suggested having family events to celebrate when I get back home from a trip. Any and all ideas here are welcome.

So your household income is about $1M. And you WFH 80% of the time. I admit I'm very jealous of your setup. Our combined HHI is half of your income alone, and we barely see our kids between our commutes and "fire drill" long hours. What do you do, I'll happily take your job!

Seriously, this has got to be one of the top crybaby posts in dcum history.

Yeah. Really hard to feel any sympathy. OP take stock of your blessings, for goodness sake. I'm not one who cares about material things but you have a unicorn gig and you come here whining. It's really astounding. Imagine all the jobs people have where they are away from their kids (whether it's for travel or incompatible schedules or hourly jobs that are onsite and inflexible) and don't make a quarter of what you do (military, sales, scheduled work at restaurants or retail, nurses and other jobs with 12 hour or overnight shifts, etc). Your hand wringing is obnoxious.

shaming op for having feelings is really not cool.
just because you earn a lot doesn't mean you have to just be happy about everything. we're all going to die and time is all we have. great if someone pays you a lot for that time, but you still net out with the same feelings.
it's ok for people of all income levels to have problems.

Op is in a great position, but she's still allowed to have feelings. Heck, I miss my middle schoolers now when they leave for school and I'll see them by 6pm that same day. They're funny and awesome people with incredibly busy social lives that take them away more and more on the weekends, versus when they were smaller and weekends were all about family time. I get that feeling that it's all going by so fast.

My solution was to turn down a promotion with a lot more travel and a lot less flexibility. Maybe easier to turn down because it wasn't as much money as you're taking about. Compared to my fellow graduates of my master's program, I chose a lower paid track that allowed me to be around home more.

Some days I couldn't be happier and some days I'm wondering if I'm making a huge financial mistake. I'm okay without a big house and fancy cars, but it would be nice to know college was covered and I could help out my in laws and parents more. My family is lucky we have as much fun camping as on exotic vacations because camping is what the budget allows now. I guess at least we know our friends aren't friends with us for perks and prestige. But it would be nice not to have to watch the budget so closely; getting rid of that stress would be amazing as long as we could avoid major lifestyle creep.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. Yes, I’m the wife. I earn more than my husband, but he does well too. I get to work from home the 25 days I’m not traveling. My kids miss me, but they are busy and happy when I’m not there.

There’s no way I could walk away from this job until college is funded. There’s no job that would even pay me half as much for this type of flexibility and I actually enjoy most of the work. This job is end game for me; my plan is to milk it for as long as I can and then semi-retire and just do fun stuff like freelance writing.

But man - I don’t want to have regrets as a parent. Being financially responsible sucks and I love the romantic idea of quitting, but it just won’t work. I love my kids so so much and it just feels wrong to be away from them. I appreciate the PP who suggested having family events to celebrate when I get back home from a trip. Any and all ideas here are welcome.

So your household income is about $1M. And you WFH 80% of the time. I admit I'm very jealous of your setup. Our combined HHI is half of your income alone, and we barely see our kids between our commutes and "fire drill" long hours. What do you do, I'll happily take your job!

Seriously, this has got to be one of the top crybaby posts in dcum history.

Yeah. Really hard to feel any sympathy. OP take stock of your blessings, for goodness sake. I'm not one who cares about material things but you have a unicorn gig and you come here whining. It's really astounding. Imagine all the jobs people have where they are away from their kids (whether it's for travel or incompatible schedules or hourly jobs that are onsite and inflexible) and don't make a quarter of what you do (military, sales, scheduled work at restaurants or retail, nurses and other jobs with 12 hour or overnight shifts, etc). Your hand wringing is obnoxious.

Anonymous wrote:I have kids and a wonderful spouse who works from home. I took a new job five years ago that I enjoy, and can be stressful and challenging but in a good way, and requires me to travel away from home 4-6 days per month (think 2-3 overnight trips to a major city not far away).

For this job, I get paid over $600k annually. We’re trying hard to manage this money wisely to save for college, invest, do things for the kids, etc.

Lately I have been gut-wrenchingly sad every time I leave my kids. The excitement of the new position has fully worn off and I still enjoy the work, but I miss my kids and spouse so, so much. My kids and spouse are okay without me; we even have involved grandparents nearby.

Can someone help me here with some advice? I’m not thinking of quitting- I’ll never find another job like this and we have a financial plan for the next five years to help pay for the kids. But I miss them so, so much and I feel awful every time I am away.

I’ll take your job for that salary. What do you do?

Your life sounds like a dream, seriously!

2 - 3 days a month is nothing. my husband used to be gone for weeks at a time for years.

i think you need to set your mind right. is it possible to "meet" virtually some of the time? if not i would just suck it up anyway.

there is no way your family is willing to give up that 600K.

Anonymous wrote:Power through. Don’t even think of walking away from $600k. Look at the bright side of getting some alone time every month. I’m the DW and I earn $1M no travel three kids and I love them desperately and I, too, would not like to travel every month but man I would love a trip or two a year where I sleep alone in a hotel room. I also dream of what it might be like to stay home with my kids. Alas, I won’t have that chance, but we make the best of our lives and money makes most everything better. Consider yourself richly blessed.

Are you another lawyer?

Anonymous wrote:As someone who is barely making 80k before taxes, don’t leave your job. Money solves so many problems.

Agree. I barely make $120K and life is rough on this income in this area. I literally can't do anything extra ( no fancy clothes, cars, eating out, spas etc.). My job is still stressful and no possibility to work remotely. If I were making this much, I would suck it up and save as much as I could.

Power through. Don’t even think of walking away from $600k. Look at the bright side of getting some alone time every month. I’m the DW and I earn $1M no travel three kids and I love them desperately and I, too, would not like to travel every month but man I would love a trip or two a year where I sleep alone in a hotel room. I also dream of what it might be like to stay home with my kids. Alas, I won’t have that chance, but we make the best of our lives and money makes most everything better. Consider yourself richly blessed.

Hi OP. Also lawyer here making similar amount. I agree your situation is not that bad in the grand scheme of things and you should probably just stick it out.

However -- given that you seem to have good rapport with your employer, have you tried improving your situation by just asking (demanding?) to scale back travel or sending a deputy instead (for their career development!)? Not sure what kind of law you practice but many legal things can be handled fully remotely these days. My employer is also very happy to question previously "necessary" travel to reduce travel budgets and hit various sustainability goals.

And while we do have various RTO initiatives and other "required" global meetings, we also have senior people who just refuse to comply and won't be fired because of their value and longevity to the organization. We also routinely make travel exceptions for people with special situations (chronically sick family members, single parents, etc.).

I know I would rather over-accommodate a great senior person on my team rather than risk losing them and having to hire again.

You might be able to eliminate your one pain point if you just ask!

I'm not OP But do make 500K ish and travel about the amuont OP does but it's more like a week a month, most months.

We save DH's salary and max out retirement. I also take advantage of my flex time when I'm at home. Tomorrow, for example, I'm doing some document reviews which I can d while engaged with my 2 tweens.

I show my kids a good time. I show them how to excel. I'm clear about how I got here. It's a DC way. Overeducated. Fed emplyee, lobbyist working my ass off for about 13 years, now nice job that's better than I culd have asked for, except the travel. I'm so greatful and blessed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP please tell us what you do so I can recommend to my DD! Dream job. Where do you travel to? Anyplace interesting?

Please ignore the haters and come back and share your story!

OP here. For people asking about my job. . . .
I don’t want to share details other than I work high up for a small company and have a very unique story of how I got to where I am based on personal history of working with certain people who later hired me. It’s more of a “one thing led to another that led to another” that couldn’t be predicted or replicated and I was very lucky and also worked very hard for about 20 years before I made this much money.

Like can you just say: lawyer at quantum startup, programmer at fintech, CRO at b2b SAAS company?

OP here. Lawyer in a manufacturing company.