Anonymous wrote:My new daughter in law was so excited to share her large set of dishes with me because the set was too large for her , and she loved the thought of us having the same set . The dishes are not my style, but it was such a beautiful sentiment that I happily accepted and use them all the time, especially she is here.

Having that connection with her is much more important to me than the style of my dishes

Do you feel superior now? OP is not that close to her SIL and she doesn't like or want these dishes. For many of us STUFF is not love. We value the connection, the good times the enjoyment of eachother's company and don't need a dish to symbolize that. My best friend and I don't do gifts. We don't need stuff, but she is worth millions to me. We have been close since childhood. We might send funny cards for birthdays, but I would never want her to buy me some clutter to symbolize our closeness.

I feel the same way about my favorite cousin. She is the gift. I don't need a mug to remind me of her. We spend time together and that is a gift.

If I don't like someone no gift is going to make that better and I don't want stuff from that person. Let her buy stuff just for her brother if he is into that.

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t you just be nice about the plates your husband’s sister gave your family, when it obviously makes your husband happy? Be nicer.

It is rude to give a gift that involves personal taste. Presumably OP already has dishes and if she doesn't she gets to chose what dishes she wants in her own house.

Gifts can absolutely be passive aggressive. My SIL would bake her most decadent desserts for her friend who was so obese she had a heart attack and was put on a special diet.

Being kind is a gift. Offering to help someone in a time of need is a gift. Making someone laugh is a gift or comforting someone who is sad. This relative imposed her taste on someone else. OP can donate it to someone who would appreciate it if her husband agrees. If he loves it, then come up with a compromise because he gets a say too.