Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 09:48     Subject: Why dating became so hard 😔
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:High value men do not care about about your degree or net worth.


Thisis the highest priority of women when evaluating men. Why shouldn't the same be true for men? Why should men be ok with dating a poverty-stricken moron?


The biggest cope repeated on this board is that someone can either be attractive or successful, but rarely both. The inside matches the outside as often as not.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 09:36     Subject: Why dating became so hard 😔
Anonymous wrote:High value men do not care about about your degree or net worth.


Thisis the highest priority of women when evaluating men. Why shouldn't the same be true for men? Why should men be ok with dating a poverty-stricken moron?
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 09:31     Subject: Re:Why dating became so hard 😔
Try social dancing. I met my husband at a contra dance - there are regular ones at Glen Echo and St. Stephen's in Columbia Heights. I've also heard there are ones at the Chevy Chase ballroom. It's a really kind scene, in my experience. Best of luck to you!
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 09:26     Subject: Re:Why dating became so hard 😔
Anonymous wrote:It's possible to have sex on the first date and also end up in a long-term relationship with that person.


This. But I respect OP for sticking to her boundaries.

Where women sometimes run into trouble is when they hold out sex till the guy commits. Sex isn’t a chit to play to force commitment. I’ve seen it work sometimes; other times the guy gets sick of the woman and they break up, the guy says he’ll commit but sneaks around, etc.

Also, tangentially related to this—lots of people think they are great at sex and they’re not. If the sex is good, both parties keep coming back (assuming there is other compatibility too).
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 09:25     Subject: Why dating became so hard 😔
<goes on hookup apps>

<shocked when matches suggest hooking up>
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 09:19     Subject: Why dating became so hard 😔
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like men don't see you as serious relationship material. Instead they see you as a sexual layup.

When meeting a woman, most men know right away whether she is relationship or hookup. You need to get sorted into the former in men's mental algorithm.


Men on dating apps generally are not looking for a serious relationship.


So where can we find men who are looking for something serious? Unfortunately society made us use those stupid apps and I personally I am fed up I screen them through text and FaceTime and still get those pigs


Do it the old way. Meet someone through your friends, through church/religious org, through community events, your hobby, etc.


+1 I met my husband through a friend. Neither of us put ourselves on a dating app, because neither of us liked the vibe of dating apps. That led to a lot of things being in common, tbh.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 09:15     Subject: Why dating became so hard 😔
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like men don't see you as serious relationship material. Instead they see you as a sexual layup.

When meeting a woman, most men know right away whether she is relationship or hookup. You need to get sorted into the former in men's mental algorithm.


Men on dating apps generally are not looking for a serious relationship.


So where can we find men who are looking for something serious? Unfortunately society made us use those stupid apps and I personally I am fed up I screen them through text and FaceTime and still get those pigs


Do it the old way. Meet someone through your friends, through church/religious org, through community events, your hobby, etc.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 09:13     Subject: Why dating became so hard 😔
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like men don't see you as serious relationship material. Instead they see you as a sexual layup.

When meeting a woman, most men know right away whether she is relationship or hookup. You need to get sorted into the former in men's mental algorithm.


Men on dating apps generally are not looking for a serious relationship.


So where can we find men who are looking for something serious? Unfortunately society made us use those stupid apps and I personally I am fed up I screen them through text and FaceTime and still get those pigs


Ask your friends to set you up with someone they know.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 09:09     Subject: Re:Why dating became so hard 😔
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’d look at my profile or have a friend look at it and critique it. What you think you are communicating may not be what people read or interpret. Sadly, there are plenty of dirt bags out there who put BS in their profiles when what they are looking for is sex. I hate the apps so I use my pretty extensive network of friends, family and business friends to help make connections.


Yes I agree it may be a disconnect in profile. My 24-year niece was visiting the other day and was swiping through a new dating app after a breakup (this past summer, so not too recent) and lamenting that she was terrible at choosing men. She stated that she wanted to find a guy that wasn’t just interested in physical contact in two dates and then moving on.
Then I watched her type out a response to a “chosen” guy with an opening line that included a very suggestive double entendre and a mention of her “body count”…

I was like “uuuuuhhhh how is that aligning with what you just said you wanted?”

Maybe OP is doing the same thing? Saying she wants one thing but leading with something else and then getting confused when the guys get the wrong idea?


Best and most revealing post on thread!
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 09:04     Subject: Why dating became so hard 😔
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like men don't see you as serious relationship material. Instead they see you as a sexual layup.

When meeting a woman, most men know right away whether she is relationship or hookup. You need to get sorted into the former in men's mental algorithm.


Men on dating apps generally are not looking for a serious relationship.


So where can we find men who are looking for something serious? Unfortunately society made us use those stupid apps and I personally I am fed up I screen them through text and FaceTime and still get those pigs


Are you a pig too?
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 08:56     Subject: Why dating became so hard 😔
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like men don't see you as serious relationship material. Instead they see you as a sexual layup.

When meeting a woman, most men know right away whether she is relationship or hookup. You need to get sorted into the former in men's mental algorithm.


Men on dating apps generally are not looking for a serious relationship.


So where can we find men who are looking for something serious? Unfortunately society made us use those stupid apps and I personally I am fed up I screen them through text and FaceTime and still get those pigs


We live in the hookup and instant gratification era. Recycling bfs/gfs is totally okay, hooking up endlessly is totally okay as well. Men are not necessarily to blame. They are finding equally willing women. It’s unfortunate because I feel like some women have been pushed to be promiscuous like men. Honestly as a man I think the women taking part in this hookup culture have been pushed into it. Im sure some women will come hard at me for saying this.


I agree: women have been coerced into hooking up under the guise of “liberation,” when really it only benefits low effort men. Women are discarded for treating sexuality as precious or sacred or something they don’t want to do quickly with randoms. It’s still entirely centered around male desire - it’s gross and destabilizing.

Further I think the apps lead to a very dehumanized view of our fellow people. Keep in mind that the apps are invested in keeping people single and looking - that is their entire business model.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 08:53     Subject: Why dating became so hard 😔
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like men don't see you as serious relationship material. Instead they see you as a sexual layup.

When meeting a woman, most men know right away whether she is relationship or hookup. You need to get sorted into the former in men's mental algorithm.


NP. Nah, these men are just looking for a hookup and pretending otherwise, at least initially. Stop blaming OP in this gross way.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 08:48     Subject: Why dating became so hard 😔
OP, I havent had this problem w app dating, believe it or not. But I also swipe left on any men with gym selfies, shirtless pics, piles of money or fancy cars or other such things in their pics, etc. There are ways to tell which men are only DTF before you even match w them.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 08:14     Subject: Re:Why dating became so hard 😔
OP your complaint is that men want sex? If this fact shocks and offends you, well indeed for you dating WILL be hard! Consider not dating men.
Anonymous
Post 12/29/2023 08:03     Subject: Why dating became so hard 😔
Anonymous wrote:I hate to say this, but I think that most men are intimidated and put off by a woman who is more successful than they are. All of my friends who are more successful than their husbands married them before they became wildy successful.


Nah. It’s the physical attraction component.

Dating app culture shows there’s always someone younger and hotter (or taller and richer for the women) and people keep an eye looking over your shoulder just in case.

Also, people will hook up with a date they would never consider for a long-term relationship, providing a false expectation of that one’s “league” is.