Anonymous wrote:My hang-up is that my parents' home is full of legit heirlooms. Like, the 12-person dining set of some ancestress from the 1840s, lovingly maintained and handed down through the generations. Multiple almost-but-not-quite-complete sets of silver and china. High end porcelain clutter from rich colonial forebears. A bedroom set handmade by some great-great someone who was a renowned artisan. And oh my god the art. SO much art.

And I just. don't. want it. (Ok, maybe the bedroom set, though it needs a new custom sized mattress...) I know I can sell it, but I feel like I'd be breaking the chain. I would be the bad person who let the cherished items pass out of the family. It's been literally hundreds of years with some of this stuff. But it's all too big for my house, or requires storage space I don't have, or time I don't have to maintain it (silver needs to be polished. I had to do it all through my childhood and I vowed never again.)

So yeah. I'm stressed. And the time is coming.

I say this with kindness. Free yourself. Absolutely no one cares if you keep the stuff. Have an estate sale.

I just did this for parents living in house 44 years. My sibling and I do not live in the area and we completed our portion of the task in a long weekend.

Step 1 (from a distance): Got two real estate agents to go through and advise whether estate sale was worth the bother. It wasn't in our case. But for those of you with parents with nice sh**, this is the way to go. A good agent will coordinate this for you and you don't even need to be present.
Step 2 (from a distance): In the days/weeks/months leading up, identify anything of large of value that wouldn't go in an estate sale and get someone to come take it. We had a neighbor with a key who was happy to facilitate giving away a medical bed and medical chair and some medical supplies. My sibling and I networked through friends in town and friends of our parents to find takers.
Step 3 (in town): Sibling, one spouse, and myself spent 2 partial days and one full day going through the house and mining for items of personal value. We took things we wanted. (Like a PP we're not terribly sentimental.) Many runs to Goodwill to donate items by spouse throughout. Neighbor with key grabbed any items he wanted.
Step 4 (after we left): Walk away and let the junk people clear it out and pay for cleaning. My parents lived in a low COL area and this wasn't even that expensive.

It will fill the time you let it fill. My sibling and I have busy lives, kids, jobs, etc. And we're not local. The above worked fine.

Anonymous wrote:

3. Post open house on neighborhood listserve and buy nothing. People come and take what they want. No holds; first come first serve. I don’t respond to questions about what it is still available.

This is the best idea on thread, for those upset/confused about how to handle.

My hang-up is that my parents' home is full of legit heirlooms. Like, the 12-person dining set of some ancestress from the 1840s, lovingly maintained and handed down through the generations. Multiple almost-but-not-quite-complete sets of silver and china. High end porcelain clutter from rich colonial forebears. A bedroom set handmade by some great-great someone who was a renowned artisan. And oh my god the art. SO much art.

And I just. don't. want it. (Ok, maybe the bedroom set, though it needs a new custom sized mattress...) I know I can sell it, but I feel like I'd be breaking the chain. I would be the bad person who let the cherished items pass out of the family. It's been literally hundreds of years with some of this stuff. But it's all too big for my house, or requires storage space I don't have, or time I don't have to maintain it (silver needs to be polished. I had to do it all through my childhood and I vowed never again.)

So yeah. I'm stressed. And the time is coming.

I’ve cleaned out 2 parents house and 2 grandparents. It helps that I’m not sentimental.

1. All family are invited to come and take what they want. It must leave with them. I do not store.

2. Call donation company. All big furniture items are taken away. Decent clothes are donated.

3. Post open house on neighborhood listserve and buy nothing. People come and take what they want. No holds; first come first serve. I don’t respond to questions about what it is still available.

4. Hire dumpster. Whatever is left in the house goes into the dumpster.

Takes about a week or so.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - DH and I just moved, so this has been on my mind because although we were moving to a larger home, we got rid of SO MUCH STUFF by donating/using buy nothing/even sold a handful of items. I try to be pretty ruthless about that, but it was funny when I read what PP wrote about her mom saying her dad will take things out of the trash. My husband literally does that (except the donate pile, not the trash). I have to sneak things out of the house sometimes that I know he won't miss.

I have to do that also!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t mean to offend anyone but spending time with elderly parents and in laws (80s) has me very concerned about what will happen when they pass. One set has moved around a lot and has pared down their belongings along the way which is helpful but the other set has been in the same home 50 years and keeps and attaches sentimental value to everything. How do we (a) kindly suggest that they start paring things down and (b) prepare ourselves for having to do it ourselves in the future?

Just let them live and consider it a right of passage. If my child asked me to clean my house so they don’t have to I would be insulted. And at the same time I’m 62 and am attempting to downsize some. Too much stuff and I am trying to get rid of unnecessary papers and documents. Not for my child but so I have less clutter.

My father passed and my sister and I moved what we wanted to spare to a storage unit. Sold the rest - made my mother over 5K

Anonymous wrote:To everyone saying — hire junk removal people to get rid of it quickly — what about usable things in good condition? Like, working computers or televisions? A good sofa, dining room table, or dresser? I wouldn’t want stuff like that to be thrown away.

Give away your own stuff while you can still find takers. Accept that no one wants your parents' old stuff, even if you can imagine how it could be useful in theory

Very concerned. Mother is a hoarder. Has repair bills from cars she has not owned in years and cleared checks written when I was in HS (in my 60s). To get her to throw all this out is impossible.

OP here - DH and I just moved, so this has been on my mind because although we were moving to a larger home, we got rid of SO MUCH STUFF by donating/using buy nothing/even sold a handful of items. I try to be pretty ruthless about that, but it was funny when I read what PP wrote about her mom saying her dad will take things out of the trash. My husband literally does that (except the donate pile, not the trash). I have to sneak things out of the house sometimes that I know he won't miss.

Anonymous wrote:To everyone saying — hire junk removal people to get rid of it quickly — what about usable things in good condition? Like, working computers or televisions? A good sofa, dining room table, or dresser? I wouldn’t want stuff like that to be thrown away.

Sometimes Goodwill will send a truck for furniture. You can also ask local assisted living places if they want them. But the sad fact is nobody really wants even “good” used furniture.

Electronics - straight to Goodwill.

Anonymous wrote:To everyone saying — hire junk removal people to get rid of it quickly — what about usable things in good condition? Like, working computers or televisions? A good sofa, dining room table, or dresser? I wouldn’t want stuff like that to be thrown away.

Maybe schedule a donation truck to come by first.

To everyone saying — hire junk removal people to get rid of it quickly — what about usable things in good condition? Like, working computers or televisions? A good sofa, dining room table, or dresser? I wouldn’t want stuff like that to be thrown away.

Also, think now about your own stuff and how you are dealing with stuff.

Hire someone. It could take months.