Anonymous wrote:You don’t need a script or alternative date. Just say next year we are not hosting, we are keeping it small (immediate family).

Yup, all this.

Stand strong for your family and yourself.

You've done a lot already. No need to feel guilty, just remember your family comes first.

While it may solve the problem next year, I don't think you have to take a trip to accomplish this.

I'd simply email family to let them know that your family can no longer host all the Christmas celebrations. You can also say you need to simplify and will host one event only (obviously up to you).

Kudos to you for recognizing this. PLEASE ACT on it. You'll be doing yourself and your children a huge favor. There's no fun in choosing to make it a stressful season; and it IS a choice to host all these people. You are not obligated, your family and health come first.

Does anyone in your immediate family have any big anniversary/birthday coming up next year?

We've been to Paris during Christmas before and it was cold and rainy.

Ideally you could say, Next year we're going to (some place warm) for Christmas to celebrate our 15th anniversary, or something.

I wouldn't do it yet, since that's a clear sign that you didn't enjoy their company.

But in a few months I would say something. Then the following year I'd say This year we are doing a smaller Christmas.

Can you go to them?