Anonymous
12/28/2023 22:18
Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
No. Because my kid got into a very good school with a 35,000 merit scholarship. I guess they could have probably gotten into the very top tier SLACs but I’ll take one tier below and wayyyyy less money. They are very happy.
Anonymous
12/28/2023 21:08
Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
There is something to be said for having a bird in the hand. From what we have seen, and heard this admissions cycle those who treated amtheir ED as a target instead of a high reach, had a much better acceptance rate.
Anonymous
12/28/2023 21:08
Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you care more than your kid, and you’ve probably been egging them on. Give it a rest. The “top 20” ED admit that your kid got is surely good enough for you to hold your head up at cocktail parties.
OP here. Hahaha, of course someone on DCUM had to go there and blame the poster (me). I was almost waiting for this. Be assured if I really had been egging my kid on, DC would have probably applied early to the HYPSM school where I went and where my kid had a double legacy hook.
But so many other responses here were empathetic and helpful, so I appreciated those very much.
You weren’t almost waiting for this. It’s the reason you posted.
Your daughter was smart enough to know that HYPSM wasn’t the right fit for her. What changed her mind? Why would she suddenly value prestige over fit when she knows better?
You don’t need to crowdsource this. All that you need to tell her is to trust her gut, because her gut was right.
You just wanted to be nasty didn't you?
NP. Didn't sound particularly nasty to me. A bit abrupt, maybe.
Mine is over the moon with ED acceptance (lottery winner). But, even she kind of had a moment wondering if it is the right choice with it all being over so fast. She got over that pretty quickly, but I think the fact that they work so hard with other plans while they are waiting makes it a little weird when it's all over so suddenly.
But, so glad my kid can relax and just do school and fun. Phew!
I think this is part of it - DC didn't want to rely on getting that ED acceptance so while waiting for that decision DC was working on other apps and got increasingly excited about one in particular.
PP here. Hopefully with a little time, it will blow over. I think it's good to keep emphasizing the fit of her ED school. And remind her that legacy counts for little now, and I'm guessing the school hasn't published that data for this year. Just keep reminding her of all she loved that made her want to ED in the first place.
Anonymous
12/28/2023 21:06
Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Your kid will have no regrets in March when he sees the rejections rolling in for his friends.
Anonymous
12/28/2023 21:05
Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So I know this is kind of an odd post and a very first world problem. DC applied ED1 to a top 20 LAC and got in! Yeah! DC is thrilled and so are we. The ED1 school was DC's self-professed #1 choice all the way through the college process.
But... DC had a high reach school on their list too (where they were a legacy), and after submitting the ED1 app to the other school, DC had become increasingly interested in the high reach. The high reach had moved up to #2 and even maybe rivaled the #1 choice. Now that DC got into the ED1 school, they will never even submit their app to the high reach (it was nearly ready to go). DC told me the other day that a part of them wonders if they would have gotten into the high reach and now they will never know. I said, well would that have changed anything? You wouldn't have gone to high reach over ED right? DC's answer surprised me... for the first time they said maybe. (The high reach is one of those schools that basically no one turns down).
FWIW, I think the ED1 school is a much much better fit for DC than the legacy high reach, I just wasn't anticipating this slight regret at not taking their shot at the high reach. I really wish there wasn't so much pressure on ED so kids could apply RD everywhere and actually have choices.
Anyone else experience this?
Dear OP,
This is us. Our kid just got into a great top LAC in the ED round but had the SAT scores and legacy hook for HYP. I personally have some buyers remorse but I think this is natural. A top LAC is a far superior education than undergrad at HYP but of course the name recognition will never be there. Our friend down the street had a kid with similar stats and the legacy hook and he decided to apply to HYP and did not get in the ED round. Now they are sad they wasted their ED. It's truly a tough game of probability we are all playing. There is a lot of strategy and a little bit of luck.
OP here - thank you! I too steered my kid towards LACs from early on for the very same reason. Knowing what I know now, I think the undergrad experience will be much superior to my own.
(Contrary to what some posters on here seems to think not all of us from name brand schools nudge our kids to our alma maters.)
Anonymous
12/28/2023 21:01
Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you care more than your kid, and you’ve probably been egging them on. Give it a rest. The “top 20” ED admit that your kid got is surely good enough for you to hold your head up at cocktail parties.
OP here. Hahaha, of course someone on DCUM had to go there and blame the poster (me). I was almost waiting for this. Be assured if I really had been egging my kid on, DC would have probably applied early to the HYPSM school where I went and where my kid had a double legacy hook.
But so many other responses here were empathetic and helpful, so I appreciated those very much.
You weren’t almost waiting for this. It’s the reason you posted.
Your daughter was smart enough to know that HYPSM wasn’t the right fit for her. What changed her mind? Why would she suddenly value prestige over fit when she knows better?
You don’t need to crowdsource this. All that you need to tell her is to trust her gut, because her gut was right.
You just wanted to be nasty didn't you?
NP. Didn't sound particularly nasty to me. A bit abrupt, maybe.
Mine is over the moon with ED acceptance (lottery winner). But, even she kind of had a moment wondering if it is the right choice with it all being over so fast. She got over that pretty quickly, but I think the fact that they work so hard with other plans while they are waiting makes it a little weird when it's all over so suddenly.
But, so glad my kid can relax and just do school and fun. Phew!
Yes it is more than a little weird to work so hard on so many applications and then never send them in the end.
Anonymous
12/28/2023 20:59
Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Your kid probably wasn’t getting into the high reach and now doesn’t have to go through the rejection. It’s a win win.
+1.
Unless you donated a wing to the school, the high reach would have been unlikely. But that's a tough thing to communicate to your kid. This outcome is a win-win for their self-esteem.
OP here - yes I told my kid that they probably wouldn't have gotten into the high reach because it's a low single digit admit rate. Kid responded that the admit rate for legacies at the high reach school was nearly identical to the unhooked admit rate at the ED LAC.
Of course we are not the donate-a-wing type of legacy family so I don't know how much the big donors slant the legacy admit rate at the high reach, but I can't argue with the pure numbers.
Anonymous
12/28/2023 20:56
Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you care more than your kid, and you’ve probably been egging them on. Give it a rest. The “top 20” ED admit that your kid got is surely good enough for you to hold your head up at cocktail parties.
OP here. Hahaha, of course someone on DCUM had to go there and blame the poster (me). I was almost waiting for this. Be assured if I really had been egging my kid on, DC would have probably applied early to the HYPSM school where I went and where my kid had a double legacy hook.
But so many other responses here were empathetic and helpful, so I appreciated those very much.
You weren’t almost waiting for this. It’s the reason you posted.
Your daughter was smart enough to know that HYPSM wasn’t the right fit for her. What changed her mind? Why would she suddenly value prestige over fit when she knows better?
You don’t need to crowdsource this. All that you need to tell her is to trust her gut, because her gut was right.
You just wanted to be nasty didn't you?
NP. Didn't sound particularly nasty to me. A bit abrupt, maybe.
Mine is over the moon with ED acceptance (lottery winner). But, even she kind of had a moment wondering if it is the right choice with it all being over so fast. She got over that pretty quickly, but I think the fact that they work so hard with other plans while they are waiting makes it a little weird when it's all over so suddenly.
But, so glad my kid can relax and just do school and fun. Phew!
I think this is part of it - DC didn't want to rely on getting that ED acceptance so while waiting for that decision DC was working on other apps and got increasingly excited about one in particular.
Anonymous
12/28/2023 20:54
Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you care more than your kid, and you’ve probably been egging them on. Give it a rest. The “top 20” ED admit that your kid got is surely good enough for you to hold your head up at cocktail parties.
OP here. Hahaha, of course someone on DCUM had to go there and blame the poster (me). I was almost waiting for this. Be assured if I really had been egging my kid on, DC would have probably applied early to the HYPSM school where I went and where my kid had a double legacy hook.
But so many other responses here were empathetic and helpful, so I appreciated those very much.
You weren’t almost waiting for this. It’s the reason you posted.
Your daughter was smart enough to know that HYPSM wasn’t the right fit for her. What changed her mind? Why would she suddenly value prestige over fit when she knows better?
You don’t need to crowdsource this. All that you need to tell her is to trust her gut, because her gut was right.
You just wanted to be nasty didn't you?
DP: how is that nasty? The daughter was smart enough to pick ED that was NOT the legacy HYPSM. That means she already knew which was a better fit for her. The kid already made that choice---without the parental nudging I doubt there is "what if " concerns.
OP here - PP is accusing the parent (me) of planting the doubts about the ED LAC when that could not be further from the truth. I have encouraged LACs including this one from the very start of DC's search because I think they are the best fit for this kid. I don't know where DC's slights doubts came from. I think it was a combination of doing more research on the HYPSM school as they put together their application, coming up with a Plan B that they got increasingly excited about, and seeing some friends chase prestige (with mixed results) in the REA/ED rounds.
Anonymous
12/28/2023 20:50
Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you care more than your kid, and you’ve probably been egging them on. Give it a rest. The “top 20” ED admit that your kid got is surely good enough for you to hold your head up at cocktail parties.
OP here. Hahaha, of course someone on DCUM had to go there and blame the poster (me). I was almost waiting for this. Be assured if I really had been egging my kid on, DC would have probably applied early to the HYPSM school where I went and where my kid had a double legacy hook.
But so many other responses here were empathetic and helpful, so I appreciated those very much.
You weren’t almost waiting for this. It’s the reason you posted.
Your daughter was smart enough to know that HYPSM wasn’t the right fit for her. What changed her mind? Why would she suddenly value prestige over fit when she knows better?
You don’t need to crowdsource this. All that you need to tell her is to trust her gut, because her gut was right.
You just wanted to be nasty didn't you?
NP. Didn't sound particularly nasty to me. A bit abrupt, maybe.
Mine is over the moon with ED acceptance (lottery winner). But, even she kind of had a moment wondering if it is the right choice with it all being over so fast. She got over that pretty quickly, but I think the fact that they work so hard with other plans while they are waiting makes it a little weird when it's all over so suddenly.
But, so glad my kid can relax and just do school and fun. Phew!
Anonymous
12/28/2023 20:45
Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you care more than your kid, and you’ve probably been egging them on. Give it a rest. The “top 20” ED admit that your kid got is surely good enough for you to hold your head up at cocktail parties.
OP here. Hahaha, of course someone on DCUM had to go there and blame the poster (me). I was almost waiting for this. Be assured if I really had been egging my kid on, DC would have probably applied early to the HYPSM school where I went and where my kid had a double legacy hook.
But so many other responses here were empathetic and helpful, so I appreciated those very much.
You weren’t almost waiting for this. It’s the reason you posted.
Your daughter was smart enough to know that HYPSM wasn’t the right fit for her. What changed her mind? Why would she suddenly value prestige over fit when she knows better?
You don’t need to crowdsource this. All that you need to tell her is to trust her gut, because her gut was right.
THIS^^^^ Listen to your kid when they tell you which school is a good fit for them. DOn't make them apply ED (or at all really) to a school just for it's prestige. Just look at the parents on here who attended T20 schools/HYPSM 20-30 years ago and mention how it wasn't the best fit and they wished they'd attended the SLAC or their other choices that were better fits.
I want my kid to enjoy their undergrad experience. I recognize that what they do, their level of engagement while at college has much more to do with their success than the "prestige" of the school. So we let our kids pick the best fit for them schools.
Your reply makes zero sense. Did you even read the original post before you piled on?
Anonymous
12/28/2023 18:23
Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:Your kid probably wasn’t getting into the high reach and now doesn’t have to go through the rejection. It’s a win win.
+1.
Unless you donated a wing to the school, the high reach would have been unlikely. But that's a tough thing to communicate to your kid. This outcome is a win-win for their self-esteem.
Anonymous
12/28/2023 18:17
Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:So I know this is kind of an odd post and a very first world problem. DC applied ED1 to a top 20 LAC and got in! Yeah! DC is thrilled and so are we. The ED1 school was DC's self-professed #1 choice all the way through the college process.
But... DC had a high reach school on their list too (where they were a legacy), and after submitting the ED1 app to the other school, DC had become increasingly interested in the high reach. The high reach had moved up to #2 and even maybe rivaled the #1 choice. Now that DC got into the ED1 school, they will never even submit their app to the high reach (it was nearly ready to go). DC told me the other day that a part of them wonders if they would have gotten into the high reach and now they will never know. I said, well would that have changed anything? You wouldn't have gone to high reach over ED right? DC's answer surprised me... for the first time they said maybe. (The high reach is one of those schools that basically no one turns down).
FWIW, I think the ED1 school is a much much better fit for DC than the legacy high reach, I just wasn't anticipating this slight regret at not taking their shot at the high reach. I really wish there wasn't so much pressure on ED so kids could apply RD everywhere and actually have choices.
Anyone else experience this?
Dear OP,
This is us. Our kid just got into a great top LAC in the ED round but had the SAT scores and legacy hook for HYP. I personally have some buyers remorse but I think this is natural. A top LAC is a far superior education than undergrad at HYP but of course the name recognition will never be there. Our friend down the street had a kid with similar stats and the legacy hook and he decided to apply to HYP and did not get in the ED round. Now they are sad they wasted their ED. It's truly a tough game of probability we are all playing. There is a lot of strategy and a little bit of luck.
Anonymous
12/28/2023 11:27
Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:UMDCP has an excellent economics department, which is T20 for that field and is not a stretch like HYPS.
without hooks HYPS is a crapshoot
But DC actually had a hook, that's part of the regret. Not many have a hook to HYPSM and DC did but didn't use it.
If DC's the one bringing up that hook now, well, it's water under the proverbial bridge, and I'd gently steer DC away from that thinking. Why did DC prefer the ED school to begin with? What programs/majors caught DC's attention? What about the campus or campus life was attractive enough to merit that ED? And so on.
Does the ED college have an "accepted students day" in the spring? Look now and see if one is scheduled; if not, keep checking, get on the mailing list for it and register for it ASAP. Make the trip there to attend it. It'll be worth the effort. Your DC needs a shot of rah-rah and a fun visit to campus, and at an accepted students' weekend or day, will meet other rising freshmen who will be there in the fall. That could help a lot.
I've actually been wondering this - do ED students get invited to admitted students day? or is that just for students accepted RD who are trying to decide?
It depends on the school. Some schools do not invite ED students to admitted student day. Some schools have an admitted students day just for the ED students (often, before RD announced). Some schools invite everyone to the same admitted students day. And some schools start inviting ED students to admitted students day (meant for all) before RD so that they get priority in choice. I saw all of these play out last year.
Anonymous
12/28/2023 11:26
Subject: Any regrets on applying and getting accepted ED?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Mine is over the moon with ED acceptance (lottery winner). But, even she kind of had a moment wondering if it is the right choice with it all being over so fast. She got over that pretty quickly, but I think the fact that they work so hard with other plans while they are waiting makes it a little weird when it's all over so suddenly.
^^^This. DC did not go ED route, but I think it's also a matter of personality and coming at a time where feelings of anxiety are very high, both due to age and circumstance. And some people are just second-guessers. Some are not. Higher-anxiety types will second-guess college choice, dorm choice, dress for prom, color/make of car. If that describes your DC or you, maybe point out that it's not the college but a trait to recognize (and hopefully embrace!) and, yes, trust the gut but it's not the end of the game if it doesn't work out--change majors, transfer, grad school, so many opportunities in life to change life track. I still second-guess college choice after all these years, even though it's all worked out in the end, oddly enough.