Anonymous wrote:It’s hard to do this, but don’t be a martyr. Tell your husband you are burnt out and you will be ordering takeout a few nights a week. It doesn’t have to be expensive- pizza night, chipotle, whatever.

Fastest way to get overweight ever:
Order out more or eat out more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a family of 4 and DH and I both work FT. I cook dinner for everyone 28 days per month and we get take out once night every other week. I also make everyone's breakfast most mornings unless the kids just want a bagel or yogurt or something else easy.

This morning, we've been up since 6am and kids ate then. DH and I haven't eaten yet. He just spent 30 mins in the kitchen sautéing vegetables and making a big omlette with a side of fresh fruit. Then proceeded to sit down and eat it all by himself, never even asking if I'd like something.

How can people be like this?

Yeah you need to be direct and tell him how you feel. “Next time you’re making a meal, please ask me if I’d like some, too.”

+1 see if he is capable of the “next time” request

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it. He probably assumes you are eating with the kids. Why don’t you just ask him to make extra for you of whatever he is making, you sit down with the kids while they eat, then you guys can both enjoy a quiet breakfast when the kids are done.

I’d ask ONCE.

And if he didn’t communicate after that’s therapy

Anonymous wrote:Your DH sounds like the “I’m not a mind reader” type of guy. Men like this often appreciate direct instructions and won’t ever pick up on passive aggression or resentment.

Step 1 is actually communication.

Hey, I’m making an adult omelet. Want one too?

Done. Step 1 in a marriage or family is never doing something for only yourself whilst your spouse does all the household or kid stuff.

Step 1 is also a NOT being self centered and ignorant into your adult spouse asks for something basic or reminds you, each and every time .

Communicate. Hey I’m cooking this now. Hey I’m going to the store. Hey I’m reading the school emails;

And if that’s one ONE WAY, see a couples therapist stat.

It’s not fair. Don’t make this more complicated than it needs to be. Simply tell DH you are burnt out cooking every night and tell him you’d like him to cook dinner on Tues/Thurs. I don’t know budget or health concerns but maybe you could cover Mon/Wed and do takeout or something Friday? He might stumble through it for a few nights but stick to the schedule and he’ll get used to it.

So many PPs who blame this on the woman! Why do you have such low expectations if husbands that they can’t figure out after watching their wives cook the lion share of meals that it is simply the fair thing yo cook or offer to cook once in a while? Are you raising your sons to be at all observant and considerate? The men in your lives must to stupid or oblivious for since you all seem ti need to point out the obvious to them.

TBH this sounds like a communication issue to me…given this was outside a family meal time he may have assumed you’d already eaten. DH and I both cook and would offer if the other is standing right there, but may not offer is the spouse is in a different part of the house and we assume they’ve eaten. Our household is busy- our kids are older- and are sometimes on different schedules. We don’t always know if someone has eaten yet or not. Just say “oh what are you making? Sounds great, could you make me one too? Ooh thanks!”

No need to cook as often as you do. Most people do not. Simple things or leftovers/make ahead are fine at times. A cold breakfast is also fine. Certainly it is more than fine to ask DH to cook some of the time- I’m surprised you have not. He may think you actually enjoy it- who knows?

OP, cook him some tough turkey and if he doesn't like it, tell him to order a case of beef jerky! ROTFLMAO

I agree with the PP that these are two unrelated issues in your post.

If you don't want to cook as much, don't. I assume you meal plan each week? Tell DH - hey, can you make the quesadillas on Tuesday? -- or whatever, and go from there.

For this breakfast, almost certainly your DH assumed you already ate, because you always make breakfast. Just communicate and point it out. I had something really similar with DH over a certain lunch -- I always made 2x and offered him some, he never did the same -- and this on top of me doing all to cooking. But we talked about it and I pointed it out and it doesn't happen any more.

It’s hard to do this, but don’t be a martyr. Tell your husband you are burnt out and you will be ordering takeout a few nights a week. It doesn’t have to be expensive- pizza night, chipotle, whatever.

OP, you essentially are an unpaid short order cook.

I am so glad I am not married!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just stop cooking. Tell your family to fend for themselves. And stop being a doormat and use your words in the meantime.

We don't know the ages for the kids. For the dh sure

Even little kids can put cereal and milk in a bowl

1 or 2 year olds?

How much effort is it to make breakfast for a 1-2 year old?

Anonymous wrote:We are a family of 4 and DH and I both work FT. I cook dinner for everyone 28 days per month and we get take out once night every other week. I also make everyone's breakfast most mornings unless the kids just want a bagel or yogurt or something else easy.

This morning, we've been up since 6am and kids ate then. DH and I haven't eaten yet. He just spent 30 mins in the kitchen sautéing vegetables and making a big omlette with a side of fresh fruit. Then proceeded to sit down and eat it all by himself, never even asking if I'd like something.

How can people be like this?

Yeah you need to be direct and tell him how you feel. “Next time you’re making a meal, please ask me if I’d like some, too.”

I don’t get it. He probably assumes you are eating with the kids. Why don’t you just ask him to make extra for you of whatever he is making, you sit down with the kids while they eat, then you guys can both enjoy a quiet breakfast when the kids are done.

Anonymous wrote:I’m 45. My mom cooked dinner probably 364 days every single year and she had a full time job as well.

If my wife did the same, she would have divorced my ass after 1 year. Men need to understand that what their mothers endured is a thing of the pas. Modern women expect you to pull your weight.

+1. And the best men don't wait to be asked. They'll just say, "Hey, I'm planning to cook X for dinner tomorrow." And they do it (taking ownership of making sure they have all the ingredients, or going shopping for them ahead of time).