Anonymous
02/09/2024 23:36
Subject: Sexless marriage
A husband here. Pick a good time and tell him calmly and in a non-threatening way that you have a sensitive topic that is important to you that you would like to discuss. Tell him that you love him but that you are concerned that the two of you are not having sex as often as you would like. Ask him if he would please make an effort with you to make this a more regular practice. Tell him that doing this can only be beneficial to your long term relations and that you need this. Thais is IMPORTANT to you.
Anonymous
02/09/2024 23:34
Subject: Sexless marriage
Anonymous wrote:‘Happily married’ with 2 kids. both
In early forties - good looking. We have sex once in 2 months and even then I fake. Sex is not good. I am on AD but still can have and achieve orgasms. Husband does not seem to bothered if we don’t have sex often. I am attractive looking so that’s not a problem.
We sleep in different bedrooms because of snoring. Sometimes I don’t care but sometimes it gets me too hard.
He is loyal and all perfect otherwise. I am not leaving him bc of the kids
Physical sex is so old-fashioned. Sounds like you’re in a fine situation.
Anonymous
02/09/2024 23:22
Subject: Sexless marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is not sexless. That is defined as no sex for 10 months or longer. I had a sexless marriage: literally nothing for 7 out of 10 years.
Incorrect.
Marriage counselors define a sexless marriage as “fewer than 11 instances of coitus over one year.”
LOL, if that's the case my spouse and I haven't had sex in over ten years. Yeah, you read that right. We're basically roommates raising our kids. That's it. We still sleep in the same bed, but we both have separate covers because one is cold and one is hot at night. But, yeah it's been ten years since we had sex and I'm not exaggerating because the last time we had sex was when we had our last kid who is ten.
Ten years….same bed….no sex….really? One or both of you must be getting it elsewhere.
I went 7 years no sex. No one was getting it elsewhere. This happens more than you think.
True.
Someone with better search skills could easily compile dozens and dozens of cases where people lived in sexless marriages for years, and that’s just on DCUM alone.
It is fairly common, obviously.
Yes its very common i dont need to have sex with my husband to show i love him. We have a great marriage with sex off the table.
If he shares your perspective, I think you've found a unicorn of a man.
I bet if you ask him and he’s honest he doesn’t. No man would.
He’s either getting it from somewhere else or he’s not happy. This is one reason men won’t get married. I’m divorced and have more sex than never did as a married man. I’m having sex at least once a week and most tines more. One week I had sex every day…never got that when I was married
I won’t get married again. No reason to. I own my own place, doing well financially and when I don’t have kids I’m shake to do what I want and have no one yelling at me about spending time and money on things I like to do. And women easily give it up so why get into a relationship with someone and put my life and assets at risk again? Nope.
You are living a sinful life. Protect your assets by doing a prenuptial, hire a lawyer and get married
Anonymous
02/09/2024 23:02
Subject: Sexless marriage
You're lucky for getting sex every 2 months. We are 41 and haven't had sex for going on 6 years at this point.
Marriage = no sex. I'm still horny all the time too.
Marriage = no sex. I'm still horny all the time too.
Anonymous
02/09/2024 22:45
Subject: Sexless marriage
I don't think I have a super high sex drive, but my DH never initiates and has a tough time maintaining an erection, and I finally just stopped trying. No sex for five f*ing years. I am not happy about that. I would be perfectly happy with once a week. Even once a month, for god's sake. But never is not okay for me.
Despite all this I would probably just live with it if everything else in the marriage was great. However, everything else is not great: numerous other serious issues (he is depressed, unemployed, does not help much, leaves me with the whole mental load, and is often hostile and unpleasant to the kids). And, no surprise, feeling unhappy about all this does not make me feel more attracted to him, so even if he suddenly became far more sexual, I don't think I would want sex with him anymore.
We are now separated, trying to decide if we are just getting divorced. And I told him that if we are staying together, I want an open marriage.
Despite all this I would probably just live with it if everything else in the marriage was great. However, everything else is not great: numerous other serious issues (he is depressed, unemployed, does not help much, leaves me with the whole mental load, and is often hostile and unpleasant to the kids). And, no surprise, feeling unhappy about all this does not make me feel more attracted to him, so even if he suddenly became far more sexual, I don't think I would want sex with him anymore.
We are now separated, trying to decide if we are just getting divorced. And I told him that if we are staying together, I want an open marriage.
Anonymous
02/08/2024 09:38
Subject: Sexless marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is not sexless. That is defined as no sex for 10 months or longer. I had a sexless marriage: literally nothing for 7 out of 10 years.
Incorrect.
Marriage counselors define a sexless marriage as “fewer than 11 instances of coitus over one year.”
LOL, if that's the case my spouse and I haven't had sex in over ten years. Yeah, you read that right. We're basically roommates raising our kids. That's it. We still sleep in the same bed, but we both have separate covers because one is cold and one is hot at night. But, yeah it's been ten years since we had sex and I'm not exaggerating because the last time we had sex was when we had our last kid who is ten.
Ten years….same bed….no sex….really? One or both of you must be getting it elsewhere.
I went 7 years no sex. No one was getting it elsewhere. This happens more than you think.
True.
Someone with better search skills could easily compile dozens and dozens of cases where people lived in sexless marriages for years, and that’s just on DCUM alone.
It is fairly common, obviously.
Yes its very common i dont need to have sex with my husband to show i love him. We have a great marriage with sex off the table.
If he shares your perspective, I think you've found a unicorn of a man.
I bet if you ask him and he’s honest he doesn’t. No man would.
He’s either getting it from somewhere else or he’s not happy. This is one reason men won’t get married. I’m divorced and have more sex than never did as a married man. I’m having sex at least once a week and most tines more. One week I had sex every day…never got that when I was married
I won’t get married again. No reason to. I own my own place, doing well financially and when I don’t have kids I’m shake to do what I want and have no one yelling at me about spending time and money on things I like to do. And women easily give it up so why get into a relationship with someone and put my life and assets at risk again? Nope.
Even as a man, my response is "ew".
Anonymous
02/08/2024 07:34
Subject: Sexless marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is not sexless. That is defined as no sex for 10 months or longer. I had a sexless marriage: literally nothing for 7 out of 10 years.
Incorrect.
Marriage counselors define a sexless marriage as “fewer than 11 instances of coitus over one year.”
LOL, if that's the case my spouse and I haven't had sex in over ten years. Yeah, you read that right. We're basically roommates raising our kids. That's it. We still sleep in the same bed, but we both have separate covers because one is cold and one is hot at night. But, yeah it's been ten years since we had sex and I'm not exaggerating because the last time we had sex was when we had our last kid who is ten.
Ten years….same bed….no sex….really? One or both of you must be getting it elsewhere.
I went 7 years no sex. No one was getting it elsewhere. This happens more than you think.
True.
Someone with better search skills could easily compile dozens and dozens of cases where people lived in sexless marriages for years, and that’s just on DCUM alone.
It is fairly common, obviously.
Yes its very common i dont need to have sex with my husband to show i love him. We have a great marriage with sex off the table.
If he shares your perspective, I think you've found a unicorn of a man.
I bet if you ask him and he’s honest he doesn’t. No man would.
He’s either getting it from somewhere else or he’s not happy. This is one reason men won’t get married. I’m divorced and have more sex than never did as a married man. I’m having sex at least once a week and most tines more. One week I had sex every day…never got that when I was married
I won’t get married again. No reason to. I own my own place, doing well financially and when I don’t have kids I’m shake to do what I want and have no one yelling at me about spending time and money on things I like to do. And women easily give it up so why get into a relationship with someone and put my life and assets at risk again? Nope.
Anonymous
02/08/2024 07:29
Subject: Sexless marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:‘Happily married’ with 2 kids. both
In early forties - good looking. We have sex once in 2 months and even then I fake. Sex is not good. I am on AD but still can have and achieve orgasms. Husband does not seem to bothered if we don’t have sex often. I am attractive looking so that’s not a problem.
We sleep in different bedrooms because of snoring. Sometimes I don’t care but sometimes it gets me too hard.
He is loyal and all perfect otherwise. I am not leaving him bc of the kids
Is there a question?
That is a low-sex marriage, not a “sexless” one.
Where do you think he’s getting laid if it isn’t with you?
OP, is your husband out of shape? Is he tired? Have his T checked. What is his workload? He maybe overworked and stressed. Do you have sex on vacation? If so it’s the fact he’s overworked and stressed. If not then maybe it’s low T. Oh and porn..if he’s watching porn have him stop. It ruins men’s ability to have sex. It has so many detrimental effects and should be treated as a drug
Anonymous
02/08/2024 07:28
Subject: Sexless marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:‘Happily married’ with 2 kids. both
In early forties - good looking. We have sex once in 2 months and even then I fake. Sex is not good. I am on AD but still can have and achieve orgasms. Husband does not seem to bothered if we don’t have sex often. I am attractive looking so that’s not a problem.
We sleep in different bedrooms because of snoring. Sometimes I don’t care but sometimes it gets me too hard.
He is loyal and all perfect otherwise. I am not leaving him bc of the kids
No it’s a sexless marriage by a clinical definition.
OP, is your husband out of shape? Is he tired? Have his T checked. What is his workload? He maybe overworked and stressed. Do you have sex on vacation? If so it’s the fact he’s overworked and stressed. If not then maybe it’s low T. Oh and porn..if he’s watching porn have him stop. It ruins men’s ability to have sex. It has so many detrimental effects and should be treated as a drug
Is there a question?
That is a low-sex marriage, not a “sexless” one.
Where do you think he’s getting laid if it isn’t with you?
Anonymous
02/07/2024 22:55
Subject: Sexless marriage
Went through that in my last relationship and I believe it is said that a portion of humanity while I'm sure in the minority and that is a portion of people are just naturally asexual
Anonymous
02/01/2024 16:26
Subject: Sexless marriage
He’s using porn in his own room. Ask him to stop.
Anonymous
02/01/2024 12:39
Subject: Sexless marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is not sexless. That is defined as no sex for 10 months or longer. I had a sexless marriage: literally nothing for 7 out of 10 years.
Incorrect.
Marriage counselors define a sexless marriage as “fewer than 11 instances of coitus over one year.”
LOL, if that's the case my spouse and I haven't had sex in over ten years. Yeah, you read that right. We're basically roommates raising our kids. That's it. We still sleep in the same bed, but we both have separate covers because one is cold and one is hot at night. But, yeah it's been ten years since we had sex and I'm not exaggerating because the last time we had sex was when we had our last kid who is ten.
Ten years….same bed….no sex….really? One or both of you must be getting it elsewhere.
I went 7 years no sex. No one was getting it elsewhere. This happens more than you think.
True.
Someone with better search skills could easily compile dozens and dozens of cases where people lived in sexless marriages for years, and that’s just on DCUM alone.
It is fairly common, obviously.
Yes its very common i dont need to have sex with my husband to show i love him. We have a great marriage with sex off the table.
If he shares your perspective, I think you've found a unicorn of a man.
Or someone who is hiding a porn addiction and is letting sleeping dogs lie.
Anonymous
02/01/2024 12:27
Subject: Sexless marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is not sexless. That is defined as no sex for 10 months or longer. I had a sexless marriage: literally nothing for 7 out of 10 years.
Incorrect.
Marriage counselors define a sexless marriage as “fewer than 11 instances of coitus over one year.”
LOL, if that's the case my spouse and I haven't had sex in over ten years. Yeah, you read that right. We're basically roommates raising our kids. That's it. We still sleep in the same bed, but we both have separate covers because one is cold and one is hot at night. But, yeah it's been ten years since we had sex and I'm not exaggerating because the last time we had sex was when we had our last kid who is ten.
Ten years….same bed….no sex….really? One or both of you must be getting it elsewhere.
I went 7 years no sex. No one was getting it elsewhere. This happens more than you think.
True.
Someone with better search skills could easily compile dozens and dozens of cases where people lived in sexless marriages for years, and that’s just on DCUM alone.
It is fairly common, obviously.
Yes its very common i dont need to have sex with my husband to show i love him. We have a great marriage with sex off the table.
If he shares your perspective, I think you've found a unicorn of a man.
Anonymous
02/01/2024 09:24
Subject: Sexless marriage
Anonymous wrote:I’m so fearful of this happening. I can’t imagine being with someone who doesn’t want to have sex.
It's truly torture
Anonymous
02/01/2024 08:42
Subject: Sexless marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is not sexless. That is defined as no sex for 10 months or longer. I had a sexless marriage: literally nothing for 7 out of 10 years.
Incorrect.
Marriage counselors define a sexless marriage as “fewer than 11 instances of coitus over one year.”
LOL, if that's the case my spouse and I haven't had sex in over ten years. Yeah, you read that right. We're basically roommates raising our kids. That's it. We still sleep in the same bed, but we both have separate covers because one is cold and one is hot at night. But, yeah it's been ten years since we had sex and I'm not exaggerating because the last time we had sex was when we had our last kid who is ten.
That’s… not awesome? I don’t understand how you can sleep in the same bed with someone and not happen to have sex for 10 years. I feel like no matter who was in bed with me, once in awhile I would get in the mood and start touching them. It just seems impossible.
Completely possible. I'm at 8 years.
King sized bed. One person either goes to bed real early or real late so as to avoid the other. Inability to admit there's an issue much less try and fix it.
Both sides wanting to keep their kids in an intact home.
There's 90% of the recipe.
This is the way
We build a little wall of pillows between us.