Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad got into a top 5 law school by showing up the month before classes began and chatting with the dean and showing them his LSAT score. No, it wasn't a perfect score. That's how easy it was to get into school back then. The generation gap has 100% to do with scare resources. We millennials go nuts trying to optimize kids to get into college because it's now impossible. That leads to all sorts of parenting decisions that seem baffling and wrong and pathetic to previous generations who weren't under this pressure.

No, it’s not. You just can’t fathom that one can have a fulfilling life without always being at the top. GMAFB with your scarce resources. If you have the luxury to ponder parenting philosophies and optimize children, you’re doing fine.

I’m the one who wrote that and you’re wrong. I went to a mediocre state school because I got a scholarship there, paid my own way by working shitty jobs at the expense of the glamorous unpaid internships I now know you need to get a good job later, and it took me over a decade to pay off my debt and claw my way up from scratch to a job anyone on DCUM would consider decent and white collar. I don’t want that for my kids! It was too hard. Meanwhile my friends who got Cs at Stanford waltzed into Deloitte and made 6 figures with no student debt and partied around the world while they got their MBAs. I know exactly what I missed out on and what the differences in your life and opportunities are if you go to a top20 or not.

Well I still don’t feel sorry for you, but I kind of do for your kids now. That’s a lot to put on them when the prize is getting to party around the world with a bunch of losers from Deloitte. But I wish them well. May they one day have a job that DCUM considers white collar. Goals!

The "prize" isn't the job but the stability and security it provides. Money doesn't buy happiness but it sure does buy a way out of stress. Being able to get my child speech therapy without worrying about the copays, pay for the childcare I need without tradiing off cost for quality, replace worn out shoes, buy warm winter clothing, and in general not be one unexpected major expense away from financial stress sure does make it easier to be happy.

I had a relatively nice childhood but will always remember having to drop out of dance class because I got sick for a couple weeks and my parents could no longer afford the recital costumes with the medical co-pays and missed work. And that was minor. My husband's family had 4 people living in a one bedroom apartment and every $10 school extra for him was a strain on his parents. So yeah a path to a stable well paying job is a prize

NP. Your childhood was fine. Your life now is fine. Your kids will be fine. Stop complaining and focus on all of the good things you (and your kids) have going on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad got into a top 5 law school by showing up the month before classes began and chatting with the dean and showing them his LSAT score. No, it wasn't a perfect score. That's how easy it was to get into school back then. The generation gap has 100% to do with scare resources. We millennials go nuts trying to optimize kids to get into college because it's now impossible. That leads to all sorts of parenting decisions that seem baffling and wrong and pathetic to previous generations who weren't under this pressure.

No, it’s not. You just can’t fathom that one can have a fulfilling life without always being at the top. GMAFB with your scarce resources. If you have the luxury to ponder parenting philosophies and optimize children, you’re doing fine.

I’m the one who wrote that and you’re wrong. I went to a mediocre state school because I got a scholarship there, paid my own way by working shitty jobs at the expense of the glamorous unpaid internships I now know you need to get a good job later, and it took me over a decade to pay off my debt and claw my way up from scratch to a job anyone on DCUM would consider decent and white collar. I don’t want that for my kids! It was too hard. Meanwhile my friends who got Cs at Stanford waltzed into Deloitte and made 6 figures with no student debt and partied around the world while they got their MBAs. I know exactly what I missed out on and what the differences in your life and opportunities are if you go to a top20 or not.

Well I still don’t feel sorry for you, but I kind of do for your kids now. That’s a lot to put on them when the prize is getting to party around the world with a bunch of losers from Deloitte. But I wish them well. May they one day have a job that DCUM considers white collar. Goals!

The "prize" isn't the job but the stability and security it provides. Money doesn't buy happiness but it sure does buy a way out of stress. Being able to get my child speech therapy without worrying about the copays, pay for the childcare I need without tradiing off cost for quality, replace worn out shoes, buy warm winter clothing, and in general not be one unexpected major expense away from financial stress sure does make it easier to be happy.

I had a relatively nice childhood but will always remember having to drop out of dance class because I got sick for a couple weeks and my parents could no longer afford the recital costumes with the medical co-pays and missed work. And that was minor. My husband's family had 4 people living in a one bedroom apartment and every $10 school extra for him was a strain on his parents. So yeah a path to a stable well paying job is a prize

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad got into a top 5 law school by showing up the month before classes began and chatting with the dean and showing them his LSAT score. No, it wasn't a perfect score. That's how easy it was to get into school back then. The generation gap has 100% to do with scare resources. We millennials go nuts trying to optimize kids to get into college because it's now impossible. That leads to all sorts of parenting decisions that seem baffling and wrong and pathetic to previous generations who weren't under this pressure.

No, it’s not. You just can’t fathom that one can have a fulfilling life without always being at the top. GMAFB with your scarce resources. If you have the luxury to ponder parenting philosophies and optimize children, you’re doing fine.

I’m the one who wrote that and you’re wrong. I went to a mediocre state school because I got a scholarship there, paid my own way by working shitty jobs at the expense of the glamorous unpaid internships I now know you need to get a good job later, and it took me over a decade to pay off my debt and claw my way up from scratch to a job anyone on DCUM would consider decent and white collar. I don’t want that for my kids! It was too hard. Meanwhile my friends who got Cs at Stanford waltzed into Deloitte and made 6 figures with no student debt and partied around the world while they got their MBAs. I know exactly what I missed out on and what the differences in your life and opportunities are if you go to a top20 or not.

Well I still don’t feel sorry for you, but I kind of do for your kids now. That’s a lot to put on them when the prize is getting to party around the world with a bunch of losers from Deloitte. But I wish them well. May they one day have a job that DCUM considers white collar. Goals!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad got into a top 5 law school by showing up the month before classes began and chatting with the dean and showing them his LSAT score. No, it wasn't a perfect score. That's how easy it was to get into school back then. The generation gap has 100% to do with scare resources. We millennials go nuts trying to optimize kids to get into college because it's now impossible. That leads to all sorts of parenting decisions that seem baffling and wrong and pathetic to previous generations who weren't under this pressure.

No, it’s not. You just can’t fathom that one can have a fulfilling life without always being at the top. GMAFB with your scarce resources. If you have the luxury to ponder parenting philosophies and optimize children, you’re doing fine.

I’m the one who wrote that and you’re wrong. I went to a mediocre state school because I got a scholarship there, paid my own way by working shitty jobs at the expense of the glamorous unpaid internships I now know you need to get a good job later, and it took me over a decade to pay off my debt and claw my way up from scratch to a job anyone on DCUM would consider decent and white collar. I don’t want that for my kids! It was too hard. Meanwhile my friends who got Cs at Stanford waltzed into Deloitte and made 6 figures with no student debt and partied around the world while they got their MBAs. I know exactly what I missed out on and what the differences in your life and opportunities are if you go to a top20 or not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Social media now going off about how terrible millennials tend to be as parents, letting their kids run around like wild untamed animals. Boomers were already lax, now it has snowballed with millennials basically acting as their kids' best friends rather than act as their parents. Is millennial parenting as bad as they say? It does seem like a ton of kids these days could use a good ass whoopin'.

Seriously, cut it with the BOOMER shit.

My grand children are like animals with rabies. Their mothers did this not us old people. It comes from I will give my kids whatever they want and never teach them basic manners.
For example
Last year I got our grand daughter 2 beautiful necklaces. Instead of just saying thank you she said I'm not into that and I'm not about that. REALLY ? And her mother straight up asked me for the receipt. I told her to give it to someone that might appreciate it. GD then said she'll take the money I spent on it instead. She was 9 at the time. After that we never saw her again. Her mother's choice.

Current grand daughter is 11. She told us she wanted some headphones. She texted her grandfather a picture. When I saw the price I said hell no. A child does not need expensive headphones. Her mother said we had the means to buy those headphones so it's our duty to make the child happy. I said no. Pick something else or not. Yesterday that witch had the nerve to text Grandpa asking for $1000 to finish her Christmas shopping for the grandchild.

So yes, parenting 101 is a FAIL.

Your grandkids might be brats but you’re also a mess. Just give them $50 if that’s all you want to spend and let them pick. Stop getting things they don’t want. Even my 7 year old would be disappointed with headphones she didn’t want. (She’d want sparky unicorn ones not AirPods, but same thing). Who gives two ugly necklaces and then gets upset that the grandkid doesn’t like it?! That’s childish

DP. Just give them the money? Lol no. This isn’t a stick up.

Anonymous wrote:My dad got into a top 5 law school by showing up the month before classes began and chatting with the dean and showing them his LSAT score. No, it wasn't a perfect score. That's how easy it was to get into school back then. The generation gap has 100% to do with scare resources. We millennials go nuts trying to optimize kids to get into college because it's now impossible. That leads to all sorts of parenting decisions that seem baffling and wrong and pathetic to previous generations who weren't under this pressure.

No, it’s not. You just can’t fathom that one can have a fulfilling life without always being at the top. GMAFB with your scarce resources. If you have the luxury to ponder parenting philosophies and optimize children, you’re doing fine.

I’m an old millenial/Xennial and I do notice this among parents my age and younger. Their kids just run wild in public and they stand there saying nothing. It’s really weird. I think part of it is the shift to more child centered parenting. They’ve been told to dote on their kids and build them up so the kids don’t end up with low self esteem, and that a lot of the behaviors that annoy adults are developmentally normal for kids and we need to let kids express themselves. But then they don’t understand that others aren’t going to think their kid is so cute and that kids acting in these normal ways is still a problem when it’s not the right setting for it. And of course some people are just oblivious because they’re too busy looking at their phone.

I also wonder if people feel self conscious disciplining their children in public because we live in such a judgmental society these days. I definitely remember feeling nervous about that when my kids were a it younger. Like if some random person would think I was being too mean by speaking sternly to a toddler or preschooler who frankly needed it in that moment. We get a lot of mixed messages these days thanks to the Internet and everyone feeling like their opinions are equally valid. I’m not surprised that some millennials have come away with the idea that what we used to consider appropriate discipline is too harsh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused. My parents/ILs (older than my folks) are Boomers, DH and I are Gen X. Our kids are 20 and 16, so Z? Why do so many Boomers have Millennials? And both sets of grandparents have been interested in the kids from day 1.

My parents were young boomers (1957.) I am young Gen X (1980) and my sister is Millenial (1985.) My kids are Z and Alpha and her kids are all Alpha.

Ok, what’s an alpha and why?

Gen Alpha is anyone born 2010 or later. Current babies to 13 year olds.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused. My parents/ILs (older than my folks) are Boomers, DH and I are Gen X. Our kids are 20 and 16, so Z? Why do so many Boomers have Millennials? And both sets of grandparents have been interested in the kids from day 1.

My parents were young boomers (1957.) I am young Gen X (1980) and my sister is Millenial (1985.) My kids are Z and Alpha and her kids are all Alpha.

Ok, what’s an alpha and why?

Anonymous wrote:My dad got into a top 5 law school by showing up the month before classes began and chatting with the dean and showing them his LSAT score. No, it wasn't a perfect score. That's how easy it was to get into school back then. The generation gap has 100% to do with scare resources. We millennials go nuts trying to optimize kids to get into college because it's now impossible. That leads to all sorts of parenting decisions that seem baffling and wrong and pathetic to previous generations who weren't under this pressure.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Social media now going off about how terrible millennials tend to be as parents, letting their kids run around like wild untamed animals. Boomers were already lax, now it has snowballed with millennials basically acting as their kids' best friends rather than act as their parents. Is millennial parenting as bad as they say? It does seem like a ton of kids these days could use a good ass whoopin'.

Seriously, cut it with the BOOMER shit.

My grand children are like animals with rabies. Their mothers did this not us old people. It comes from I will give my kids whatever they want and never teach them basic manners.
For example
Last year I got our grand daughter 2 beautiful necklaces. Instead of just saying thank you she said I'm not into that and I'm not about that. REALLY ? And her mother straight up asked me for the receipt. I told her to give it to someone that might appreciate it. GD then said she'll take the money I spent on it instead. She was 9 at the time. After that we never saw her again. Her mother's choice.

Current grand daughter is 11. She told us she wanted some headphones. She texted her grandfather a picture. When I saw the price I said hell no. A child does not need expensive headphones. Her mother said we had the means to buy those headphones so it's our duty to make the child happy. I said no. Pick something else or not. Yesterday that witch had the nerve to text Grandpa asking for $1000 to finish her Christmas shopping for the grandchild.

So yes, parenting 101 is a FAIL.

Your grandkids might be brats but you’re also a mess. Just give them $50 if that’s all you want to spend and let them pick. Stop getting things they don’t want. Even my 7 year old would be disappointed with headphones she didn’t want. (She’d want sparky unicorn ones not AirPods, but same thing). Who gives two ugly necklaces and then gets upset that the grandkid doesn’t like it?! That’s childish

Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused. My parents/ILs (older than my folks) are Boomers, DH and I are Gen X. Our kids are 20 and 16, so Z? Why do so many Boomers have Millennials? And both sets of grandparents have been interested in the kids from day 1.

My parents were young boomers (1957.) I am young Gen X (1980) and my sister is Millenial (1985.) My kids are Z and Alpha and her kids are all Alpha.

Anonymous wrote:Millennials feel that their shelves filled with participation trophies are their pathway to financial success.

So a 8 year old child chose to receive a participation trophy?

Who handed those out? (Boomers and perhaps see gen x coaches, though I don’t blame gen x)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused. My parents/ILs (older than my folks) are Boomers, DH and I are Gen X. Our kids are 20 and 16, so Z? Why do so many Boomers have Millennials? And both sets of grandparents have been interested in the kids from day 1.

Our Boomer parents were born 1957-60. DH and I were born mid 80s (millennials). Our kids are 7, 5, 3.

Same. My boomer parents and ILs were born mid to late 1950s. DH and I were born mid-80s, and our kids are 8 and under.

Generations tend to span about 20 years, so I can see how older boomers could have Gen X kids.

NP. People also have kids over really wide ranges of time. I'm 40, same as one of my cousins. I've got a seven year old and she's both currently pregnant and a grandmother. We're the same generation, our parents were the same generation, but our kids ended up very far apart.

Millennials feel that their shelves filled with participation trophies are their pathway to financial success.