Anonymous wrote:This is so weird to me as a parent of 17 year old twins.
My kids are very social but neither has a boyfriend/girlfriend and neither do any of their friends. I'm sure some have had a random sexual experience but no one is breaking up over not getting sex. They're not even having sex. Or kissing. Or anything. These are different times for teenagers.

I don't think I'm off base on this. My friends with slightly older teenagers talk about the same thing. Several sent sons to college last year who (to their knowledge) had never kissed anyone. I'm sure that not all of them know their son's every move but some of them probably have an accurate picture. And to they're knowledge they're not having sex. Let alone putting down sexual ultimatums. And these are well adjusted, social, popular kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell her to be less absolute. She’s 16, that’s like 2 years from now. She can be firm that she doesn’t want to do anything anytime soon without making a statement that could change.

2 years without any sexual action (not just sex but you said nothing I assume past kissing?)is a long time to wait at 16-17 - it’s ok to not be ready but I do think it sounds like your daughter might not be ready to have a boyfriend, which is also ok.

Ew you’re creepy. Why are creeps allowed to comment on the private lives of 16 year olds? You sound like a pedophile

Anonymous wrote:Teen girl 16 wants to tell her boyfriend (also 16) she’s not up for sex (of any kind) while she’s in high school. She’s worried she’s going to lose him and she’s not sure how to approach it.

I want to offer her helpful advice, but I’m not sure what to say.

Anonymous wrote:why is she not up for sex of any kind? not saying she should do it for the boyfriend. however, i also had a friend who was very attractive but kept avoiding sex and ended up unmarried.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only helpful advice is that it's okay to lose him.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The underlying assumption in many posts is that a girls virginity is valuable by itself and she shouldn’t compromise her purity, values or morals by having sex too early. Somehow that argument is never made for the boy.

Sorry, but we’re not living in the 1950s anymore. Plenty of teenagers start their sex life in high school and end up as well functioning adults.

That is NOT the same interpretation I came away with from this thread. At all.

This has nothing to do with this girl’s virginity value and everything to do with the fact that she doesn’t want to have sex right now.

But this is not about "right now". She is ruling it out completely until some arbitrary point in time. She has a right to do so, obviously, but it is unusual for a girl who nevertheless wants to have a boyfriend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The underlying assumption in many posts is that a girls virginity is valuable by itself and she shouldn’t compromise her purity, values or morals by having sex too early. Somehow that argument is never made for the boy.

Sorry, but we’re not living in the 1950s anymore. Plenty of teenagers start their sex life in high school and end up as well functioning adults.

That is NOT the same interpretation I came away with from this thread. At all.

This has nothing to do with this girl’s virginity value and everything to do with the fact that she doesn’t want to have sex right now.

Anonymous wrote:The underlying assumption in many posts is that a girls virginity is valuable by itself and she shouldn’t compromise her purity, values or morals by having sex too early. Somehow that argument is never made for the boy.

Sorry, but we’re not living in the 1950s anymore. Plenty of teenagers start their sex life in high school and end up as well functioning adults.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell her to be less absolute. She’s 16, that’s like 2 years from now. She can be firm that she doesn’t want to do anything anytime soon without making a statement that could change.

2 years without any sexual action (not just sex but you said nothing I assume past kissing?)is a long time to wait at 16-17 - it’s ok to not be ready but I do think it sounds like your daughter might not be ready to have a boyfriend, which is also ok.

Ew you’re creepy. Why are creeps allowed to comment on the private lives of 16 year olds? You sound like a pedophile

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve known too many teenage girls who found themselves pregnant, and the boy who swore he loved her and would never leave her suddenly vanished.

At 16, don’t risk it. The consequences are too great for a few moments of pleasure.

Be firm and break up now if he doesn’t agree with a non sexual relationship. It will hurt, but a lot less than potentially being a teen mom.

wow where did you grow up? i never knew anyone.

Anonymous wrote:why is she not up for sex of any kind? not saying she should do it for the boyfriend. however, i also had a friend who was very attractive but kept avoiding sex and ended up unmarried.