Anonymous wrote:It’s bizarre how defensive people are about this. Any mental health professional will tell you that OP’s version of childhood beats daycare from 3 months, extended day, organized activities every weekend and on and on.

It’s not about optimization. It’s about giving your kids and their nervous systems the best chance amidst a youth mental health crisis. It’s about resisting all the commercialism and trends.

Sad that this is considered some sort of fancy or condescending perspective. It’s like the people who think organic food is pretentious. All food should be organic or at least not hyper processed. I guess it makes people who overschedule their kids and feed them junk feel better. At least we’re not pretentious!

You can talk about any of these in a way that is smug, condescending, and pretentious, or you can talk about it in a matter-of-fact way. OP chose the former.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, the knots some insecure parents of only kids will twist themselves into to fee better about their child’s loneliness and boredom.

Wow. What a nasty thing to say. I hope you’re a better human being than this comment makes you seem to be.

Anonymous wrote:My kids are so lonely in their mansion

I don't know what's so absurd about saying kids should have some free time? It's highly underrated and good for them.

OP, my suggestion is to focus your vacations on accomplishing some of what you are seeking.

Obviously it’s not the same as kids having free rein in a community they know. But we’ll do an Airbnb with lots of land or a collection of cabins and stay long enough to allow the kids more independence. City touring is tightly controlled in comparison. Funnily, some friends have suggested that cruise ship trips are great for independence, if not nature

Anonymous wrote:It’s bizarre how defensive people are about this. Any mental health professional will tell you that OP’s version of childhood beats daycare from 3 months, extended day, organized activities every weekend and on and on.

It’s not about optimization. It’s about giving your kids and their nervous systems the best chance amidst a youth mental health crisis. It’s about resisting all the commercialism and trends.

Sad that this is considered some sort of fancy or condescending perspective. It’s like the people who think organic food is pretentious. All food should be organic or at least not hyper processed. I guess it makes people who overschedule their kids and feed them junk feel better. At least we’re not pretentious!

Well said!

In addition to the mental health and social aspects, there are also many physically therapeutic elements of the childhood OP endorses—interacting with dirt and animals, being grounded and barefoot, playing in spaces other than playgrounds and having the sun on your face.

These activities protect children’s gut health, regulate their circadian rhythm, improve dexterity and so much more. Is it hard to accomplish in my urban neighborhood? Yes. But it’s much more important to me than exposing my kids to every fun coding or martial arts class (which are indeed tempting!)

I suggest all the cynical parents on this thread look into programs like The Elements DC. They help families accomplish this stuff even in the city

Please. In DC it’s much, much more work (and generally more expensive) to facilitate a screen-free childhood full of free play and nature than to sign them up for a bunch of stuff! Parents need lots of time and capacity to accomplish it. I empathize with those for whom it’s too much and I have had stages like that. It’s also much harder to deal with the judgment of others when you let them take moderate risks and do more on their own.

Of course there’s room for music lessons or similar in OP’s worldview and in mine. My kids do activities that matter to them. But that’s a few hours a week. It’s not every weekend day in addition to daily institutionalized care from infancy through middle school. They need some free will and to get out of compliance-based environments.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s bizarre how defensive people are about this. Any mental health professional will tell you that OP’s version of childhood beats daycare from 3 months, extended day, organized activities every weekend and on and on.

It’s not about optimization. It’s about giving your kids and their nervous systems the best chance amidst a youth mental health crisis. It’s about resisting all the commercialism and trends.

Sad that this is considered some sort of fancy or condescending perspective. It’s like the people who think organic food is pretentious. All food should be organic or at least not hyper processed. I guess it makes people who overschedule their kids and feed them junk feel better. At least we’re not pretentious!

No. It’s lazy if you can not to encourage activities that your kids are interested in. It’s lazy parenting.

It's not lazy parenting at all. There are lots of reasons can't do activities and some don't even want to do them. It's way better than forcing kids to do activities

Anonymous wrote:It’s bizarre how defensive people are about this. Any mental health professional will tell you that OP’s version of childhood beats daycare from 3 months, extended day, organized activities every weekend and on and on.

It’s not about optimization. It’s about giving your kids and their nervous systems the best chance amidst a youth mental health crisis. It’s about resisting all the commercialism and trends.

Sad that this is considered some sort of fancy or condescending perspective. It’s like the people who think organic food is pretentious. All food should be organic or at least not hyper processed. I guess it makes people who overschedule their kids and feed them junk feel better. At least we’re not pretentious!

No. It’s lazy if you can not to encourage activities that your kids are interested in. It’s lazy parenting.

It’s bizarre how defensive people are about this. Any mental health professional will tell you that OP’s version of childhood beats daycare from 3 months, extended day, organized activities every weekend and on and on.

It’s not about optimization. It’s about giving your kids and their nervous systems the best chance amidst a youth mental health crisis. It’s about resisting all the commercialism and trends.

Sad that this is considered some sort of fancy or condescending perspective. It’s like the people who think organic food is pretentious. All food should be organic or at least not hyper processed. I guess it makes people who overschedule their kids and feed them junk feel better. At least we’re not pretentious!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up putting my kids in lots of activities because I realized all of the kids my kids want to play with are in extended day or other activities. There is literally nobody around for my kids to play with. It is sad.

Because they're off doing what they enjoy instead of being home in case your kids want to play.

It's kind of odd to me that kids don't want any free play, hang out time in the neighborhood. It was a highlight of my childhood.

So you aren’t capable of understanding that different things make different people happy?

Of course I am, what I can't understand is a kid not wanting free play/hang out with other kids.

My kids love the classes they're signed up for. That have other kids in them.

Unless you are moving to Kansas or a remote Colorado farm, where your kids won't have friends, how are you going to turn back time?
I had an even better childhood, all running amok in the orchard, picking strawberries, riding bikes...
And then in third grade, I decided I wanted to play an instrument. Got me and my sister on a bus and auditioned for music school(it was free, former Yugo) and from then on, I attended two school parallel and had not a moment free. Hind sight and all that.

Anonymous wrote:I doubt this thread would get the amount of hate if the op would have said that they lived the happiest childhood but instead of playing/hanging outside with neighborhood friends op would have said a billion sports and activities or tons of screen time. Nothing gets more hate on here than suggesting kids have unorganized fun.

No it's the smug tone and lightly smeared Vaseline on the lens that is getting stuck in the craw of people.

I doubt this thread would get the amount of hate if the op would have said that they lived the happiest childhood but instead of playing/hanging outside with neighborhood friends op would have said a billion sports and activities or tons of screen time. Nothing gets more hate on here than suggesting kids have unorganized fun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up putting my kids in lots of activities because I realized all of the kids my kids want to play with are in extended day or other activities. There is literally nobody around for my kids to play with. It is sad.

Because they're off doing what they enjoy instead of being home in case your kids want to play.

It's kind of odd to me that kids don't want any free play, hang out time in the neighborhood. It was a highlight of my childhood.

So you aren’t capable of understanding that different things make different people happy?

Of course I am, what I can't understand is a kid not wanting free play/hang out with other kids.