I am an immigrant with graduate degrees from Europe and I would have taken advice from someone like OP with both hands.

A lot of people seem to come off success in the college app process convinced they have it figured out. But one there's no separating dumb luck, and two if it is all that parent's doing the untold hours that were required can't be replicated in a consultant setting even for a niece. The reality is, even if the family did ask for advice in the end they wouldn't take it. They have their own goals, they may be heading for disappointment in places, but they'll get somewhere by round two they'll be as smug as OP.

Look, I have a BIL that I think very little of, but I would never just expect that he would come to me looking for advice on his kids' college choices just because he's very blue collar.

I've actually been navigating college choices with my own child that most of you would scoff at because she has struggled horribly in school and may not even get into a 4 year. I will be thrilled if the options we came up with (that I spent 18 months researching) actually gave her ONE viable option, but we also know that community college is there and perfectly reasonable.

In the situation presented here, I would drop the superior attitude, maybe offer some helpful advice once, then back off.

Lots of very defensive people here. To answer op’s question, same experience they don’t ask or seek advice.

Anonymous wrote:For everyone offended by OPs attitude, you may not get it. A lot of people think that applying to any college is the same; it isn’t. A successful application to George Mason can be ripped out in moments, but not one for a highly selective school. Successfully applying to a highly selective school takes advanced planning and careful application work. Most average families have no clue about this. That’s why they keep going to the same schools and repeating the same patterns of their parents. Half the job of doing better in life is to expand your worldview to know what is possible and how to achieve it.

You sound like you have no clue and no life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For everyone offended by OPs attitude, you may not get it. A lot of people think that applying to any college is the same; it isn’t. A successful application to George Mason can be ripped out in moments, but not one for a highly selective school. Successfully applying to a highly selective school takes advanced planning and careful application work. Most average families have no clue about this. That’s why they keep going to the same schools and repeating the same patterns of their parents. Half the job of doing better in life is to expand your worldview to know what is possible and how to achieve it.

Eh. Our family does quite well going to state schools. We aren’t driven by name brands or someone else’s definition of success. Perhaps if a family is trying to break into some perceived higher social circle, this may matter. For many of us, our worldview doesn’t include impressing others and making more money than we need.

The OP’s post is insufferable to me.

Agree.

Anonymous wrote:For everyone offended by OPs attitude, you may not get it. A lot of people think that applying to any college is the same; it isn’t. A successful application to George Mason can be ripped out in moments, but not one for a highly selective school. Successfully applying to a highly selective school takes advanced planning and careful application work. Most average families have no clue about this. That’s why they keep going to the same schools and repeating the same patterns of their parents. Half the job of doing better in life is to expand your worldview to know what is possible and how to achieve it.

Wow, how incredibly condescending you are.

What makes the whole college application process so difficult for first-timers is that it involves logic that is unique to higher education. Like buying a car & buying a house are fairly similar processes. Except for one usually appreciating & one depreciating, you look around, find one you like & can afford, negotiate a price, get a loan, etc. Nobody cares if you are in-state, play the oboe, or can long jump 24 feet. And you generally get what you pay for.

But with American colleges, suddenly you find yourself in this weird universe where being in-state is sometimes good, but if it’s a private it might be better to be from North Dakota. All sorts of odd skills & attributes might mean a lot (my kid got a scholarship for being of Serbian descent—ever get $10k knocked off your car price for having an unspellable last name?). And especially the whole concept that it might be cheaper to go to Notre Dame than the little Catholic school down the street. Holy crap! Need-based aid & the donut hole create a pocket of insanity in already wacky situation. So much for “you get what you pay for.”

There is nothing you can do except tell them you are available if your niece wants any help.