Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are making a huge deal out of nothing. Your husband is making a turkey and you said you are ok with making a few sides. So - dinner us planned. You seem to be putting the expectation on yourself that you need to be some kind of super host. You do not.

No she’s bracing for the rude comments , judgements toward her not her husband and demands from in laws that what they did wasn’t enough. If in laws were kind, gracious, normal people she wouldn’t be venting.

No one can make you feel bad if you feel good about yourself.

HA. I'd like to see you with some of my miserable, angry, unfulfilled relatives who try to bate you at every turn, argue absolutely everything said to them, mix politics into every conversation all while trying to impress you with "how smart they are". And then tell me no one can make you feel bad.

I felt this way recently too. I host every year and I do almost all of the work.

I’m about the prep my dining room and set the table ahead of time but all I can think of is blah.

Yes, the years I felt that way I just purchased most of it. If mom is miserable, everyone is miserable. Heck there were 2 years, we just ordered take out and it was great! We mo longer invite the family members who are high maintenance and think something is wrong if you don't slave away.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you all, I appreciate your perspective and advice. You all make sense. I think I’ll just go along, do what I need to do, skip what I don’t want to do and let someone else worry about ordering pizza or whatever, and focus on doing some fun things with my kids! Thank you.

And then think ahead for next year! It's a little late to duck out on too much this year, but if you don't want to do this again, then tell them whenever you start discuss plans for Thanksgiving 2024 that you don't want to do this again. And that's ok!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP. Because of this thread I started really considering catering this year when his parents come over for Thanksgiving. We were anticipating a lot of stress so DH and I discussed and thought, why not. If it doesn't work out, we'll do differently next time. This seriously lifted a big weight off us.

OP here. Wow, I’m glad to hear it! I’ve started not caring about things I usually care about. The house will be clean and there will be a holiday dinner on the table. If that’s the extent of our hosting this time, so be it. I think catering sounds great. Please let me know how it goes!

We get it!

So. Much. Drama.