Anonymous wrote:If I were you, I'd start. doing a better job with my marriage. You are always going to see threats from the outside, because your marriage is unhealthy.

Well put!

Anonymous wrote:I’d be so annoyed at this! OP will have major anxiety if the woman ends up getting a job at her husband’s place of work. My DH hired someone who I think he has a crush on and it’s very stressful on a daily basis.

Yes the proximity all the time is the most concerning factor.

Anonymous wrote:
OP,

My husband has been helping a good (female) friend with something that he can provide due to his profession. He's happy to do it, he likes her, and I'm perfectly OK with it. I know it won't lead to an affair. She's not that type, and he's not either.

But maybe here you're feeling a different vibe?

This is why there is a Pence rule. People see a man helping/mentoring a woman and tongues will wag. At this point everyone know this happens so you really have to question why is the man doing this?

Anonymous wrote:If a man has an IQ higher than a potato he is not going to be so obvious.

There's a lot of low IQ men ( women) out there then so many folks are obvious with their affairs.

Anonymous wrote:Do not avoid her. Try to befriend her. It'll make it easier to keep an eye on her. When/if she gets the job, invite her to a celebratory dinner with your husband. Tell her she can bring a significant other.

That will only make the husband keener.

What is a family friend, exactly? There are people estranged from their parents and siblings and you can’t manage to put a little distance between a family friend overtly flirting with your husband? Peculiar.

I'm honestly alarmed that you know for a "FACT" that they will cheat given the opportunity. There should be more good faith and trust in your relationship.

It's OK to recognize that we all experience attraction and to talk about how you are protecting your marriage. But if you're sure your spouse would cheat if the opportunity was there, then your marriage's fidelity is just based on happenstance. And it should be based on personal choices and communication and integrity and trust.

Anonymous wrote:Do not avoid her. Try to befriend her. It'll make it easier to keep an eye on her. When/if she gets the job, invite her to a celebratory dinner with your husband. Tell her she can bring a significant other.

+1.

If a man has an IQ higher than a potato he is not going to be so obvious.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP,

My husband has been helping a good (female) friend with something that he can provide due to his profession. He's happy to do it, he likes her, and I'm perfectly OK with it. I know it won't lead to an affair. She's not that type, and he's not either.

But maybe here you're feeling a different vibe?

Yes Very strong vibe.
He has other v good female friends.

If there's a very strong vibe, I would express your concerns, point out that it feels different than the relation with his other female friends, and tell him to rein it in, because he might make mistakes he will regret for ever.

On the other hand, if your marriage is in a rocky place, and you end up separating... maybe you'd find a better partner too!

Anonymous wrote:
OP,

My husband has been helping a good (female) friend with something that he can provide due to his profession. He's happy to do it, he likes her, and I'm perfectly OK with it. I know it won't lead to an affair. She's not that type, and he's not either.

But maybe here you're feeling a different vibe?

Yes Very strong vibe.
He has other v good female friends.

OP,

My husband has been helping a good (female) friend with something that he can provide due to his profession. He's happy to do it, he likes her, and I'm perfectly OK with it. I know it won't lead to an affair. She's not that type, and he's not either.

But maybe here you're feeling a different vibe?

Mine did this, led to cheating immediately. He got his in the subsequent divorce. These kind of people think the rest of us normies are idiots until they get stone cold busted. Happy trails to them! I’ve never looked back!!!

Join in the fun

OP, there is a saying for spouses who have been cheated on and are deciding whether to stay in the marriage, but it applies here, too - you have to be willing to lose the marriage in order to save it. In your case, that means having discussions and setting boundaries that YOU observe. You can't set boundaries for him, but you can tell him that your boundary is, for example, you won't be with someone who flirts with other women in front of you.