Anonymous
Post 11/08/2023 11:12     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Imho women put too much emphasis on men's ability to earn, cook, clean and do chores.


Well someone has to do these things. Who would you suggest do them?


I’m a woman and agree.

I think some women’s need for the whole house to be clean every night before they go to bed is unrealistic and killing tgem and their marriage.

Shoes in the living room is not a big deal.
Wipe the stove top once a week.
Wipe the counter every other day.

Dishes in the sink is not the end of the world.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2023 11:12     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:Imho women put too much emphasis on men's ability to earn, cook, clean and do chores.


It's not really about their ability. It's about their willingness to do it-- caring, fairness, thoughtfulness, responsibility, and realism. Do they understand and engage in the work that goes into these things, or do they expect someone will do it for them? It's also a filter to keep out men who have ADHD or poor executive functioning. Someone who can't juggle working full-time plus doing some chores and cooking evenings and weekends is a poor choice as a husband.

As for the earnings, it's a question of whether they understand that adult life and children are costly? If a man can't afford the future life *he* wants, he's a clueless idiot and not someone to date.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2023 11:10     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Men want someone attractive (subjectively to them, however that looks), kind, can hold a conversation beyond reality tv, has a degree, doesn’t insult them and likes sex a lot.

Really it’s that simple. Be nice. Be more easy going. Don’t nag and harangue too much. And just bone.

I’m probably getting divorced soon, so don’t listen to me, but as a man, that’s my advice.


You don't say?


What is wrong with what he said?


He wants a unicorn
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2023 11:00     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:Imho women put too much emphasis on men's ability to earn, cook, clean and do chores.


Well someone has to do these things. Who would you suggest do them?
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2023 10:58     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:If you want a peaceful life, don't depend on husband for money or household help or childcare. If you want a family, be capable to handle all that like a capable single mom.

However, pick a man who loves and respects you and wants to share life's responsibilities with you.


LOL that pretty much sums it up, doesn’t it. Sad but true.

Anonymous
Post 11/08/2023 10:55     Subject: Re:As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The most important thing to know about men is - the apple rarely falls far from the tree. Like father, like son- and exceptions to that are rare. When getting serious with a man, always take a very careful look at his dad (temperament, lifestyle and habits, personality traits, emotional IQ etc). He may seem very different from his dad at age 25, but that probably won’t be the case at 45.

Also- men who have bad relationships with their fathers are are almost always emotionally messed up.

So my advice to a daughter would be: look at the guy’s dad, and his relationship with his dad.





Couldn’t you say the same about women and their mothers? As much as I try to be different from my mother, we largely have the same emotional landscape.


Yes-Of course. But this thread asked about men.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2023 10:52     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
I would recommend avoiding mentioning to your daughters that men are visual. They already know. Emphasizing the point will increase any insecurities they already feel.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2023 10:47     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:They are not mind-readers; if you want them to know you you feel, tell them. Don't play games eg 'you should KNOW why I am mad'. Don't reinforce the negative by being unclear. That is lunacy.

They are very visual. wocka wocka.

Compliments work. Reinforce the positive. Be sure to tell them how wonderful they are. If you aren't hearing it at home, it starts to mean more when strangers with ulterior motives say it.



Man here. Totally agree. I would boil it down to one thing: they want you to demonstrate that you accept them.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2023 10:46     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
If you want a peaceful life, don't depend on husband for money or household help or childcare. If you want a family, be capable to handle all that like a capable single mom.

However, pick a man who loves and respects you and wants to share life's responsibilities with you.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2023 10:44     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Men want someone attractive (subjectively to them, however that looks), kind, can hold a conversation beyond reality tv, has a degree, doesn’t insult them and likes sex a lot.

Really it’s that simple. Be nice. Be more easy going. Don’t nag and harangue too much. And just bone.

I’m probably getting divorced soon, so don’t listen to me, but as a man, that’s my advice.


I believe the above. But the question was what have you learned about men, not how to get or keep one.



If you want my honest opinion, men are more emotionally consistent than women. For example, I don’t just wake up and spit out rude comments, because something internally is bothering me, but instead of saying it in a straightforward way, women will express anger through passive aggressive gestures and harsh words. It’s catty. It’s insane.

Men are more quick to move forward and not hold long term grudges. We don’t bring things up from 10 years ago in argument. We let the past go more easily.

Women are better at forming consensus and can just sort of listen and agree with each other. Whereas men, try to drive home a point in their conversations. It’s more of a jokeying for the upper hand when we communicate.

Women make better CEOs most probably. They are more meticulous. However, they can be rude to their female counterparts and subordinates at work because women have a natural competitiveness with each other.

Men cannot stand their character being disrespected.

We’d rather reach a concrete resolution to an issue rather than hold a listening session. We don’t need to vent as much. We simply are not inately programmed with a need to verbalize our emotions as much.

We express connection and love through sex. What else is the most base form of expressing love? It’s sex. Also, it feels good. Why not do it all the time? We basically jerk off all the time anyway.

Men don’t need to dates or you take us out to dinner. Who fking cares? We live with you. We see you everyday. Why not just bang as a gift or treat? We enjoy plays and movies, but we aren’t butt hurt if you don’t set up a time every week to do some activity. Especially once we are married. I mean do you know how much a fking nanny costs? School? Sports for the kids? Why don’t we just watch a Netflix movie and then bang and go to bed at 10pm???? It’s that simple.



My husband is the one holding on to grudges and has big mood swings, and he's not the only man to do so... by very far! There's a reason it's usually men who have the anger management issues, PP.


Anonymous
Post 11/08/2023 10:44     Subject: Re:As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:The most important thing to know about men is - the apple rarely falls far from the tree. Like father, like son- and exceptions to that are rare. When getting serious with a man, always take a very careful look at his dad (temperament, lifestyle and habits, personality traits, emotional IQ etc). He may seem very different from his dad at age 25, but that probably won’t be the case at 45.

Also- men who have bad relationships with their fathers are are almost always emotionally messed up.

So my advice to a daughter would be: look at the guy’s dad, and his relationship with his dad.





Couldn’t you say the same about women and their mothers? As much as I try to be different from my mother, we largely have the same emotional landscape.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2023 10:44     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Men want someone attractive (subjectively to them, however that looks), kind, can hold a conversation beyond reality tv, has a degree, doesn’t insult them and likes sex a lot.

Really it’s that simple. Be nice. Be more easy going. Don’t nag and harangue too much. And just bone.

I’m probably getting divorced soon, so don’t listen to me, but as a man, that’s my advice.


I believe the above. But the question was what have you learned about men, not how to get or keep one.


Realizing that 98% of what men care about when choosing a spouse/ romantic partner is looks is something that I wish I would have learned earlier.


This might be true for 98% of the men that you attract.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2023 10:42     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:Imho women put too much emphasis on men's ability to earn, cook, clean and do chores.


LOL sums up a lot of what I have learned about men. They still want a servant. Also make $300k and give great bjs regularly.

I'll pass.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2023 10:35     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:Imho women put too much emphasis on men's ability to earn, cook, clean and do chores.


Are you the guy getting divorced?
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2023 10:34     Subject: As a woman what have you learned about men?
Anonymous wrote:If men or women who are cast in role of keepers of their parents(emotionally, logistically or financially), don't expect that to change after signing for marriage license. If its a problem for you, don't marry them. If you tried to change it, their guilt and anger over it would eat them up and sour your relationship.


+1

Agree. Also, replace "keepers" with "scapegoat" or any plethora of descriptive nouns, and that is also true.