DS is 14 and will talk to me about girls he likes, but everything is still very much in the casual and innocent stages of things. I don't know how open he will be when hes say 17 and older. I never had a relationship with my mom where I could talk to her. She was very critical and judgemental and I have worked hard to foster an environment where DS is comfortable to talk to me.

Anonymous wrote:LOL, if my son was openly sharing about his love life to me I’d assume he was going to eventually realize he was gay. It’s extremely atypical for boys to be chitchatting with their moms about their girlfriends.

Yeah, that's a huge red flag.

Yes

I have two DSs, one in college one out of college. DS1 tells me a lot about his love life. DS2 tells me almost nothing.

I am friends with the mother of one of DS2's friends (let's call her Ann), and occasionally in the past Ann has said to me, "Larlo tells me your DS2 is seeing someone new" and I have to say, "Oh that's interesting, I had no idea." So now I have a standing request with DS2 that if there is something to tell, please tell me before I hear it from Ann, LOL. (The best part is that since making this request, I received a text from DS2 that said, "Before you hear it from Ann, I have a new girlfriend." Then he went back to radio silence. )

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, if my son was openly sharing about his love life to me I’d assume he was going to eventually realize he was gay. It’s extremely atypical for boys to be chitchatting with their moms about their girlfriends.

For the toxic boys, yes. Of course they won’t talk.

And the fact you think only gay boys talk to their moms just makes me realize your family is highly toxic.

I don't know about toxic, but it's sad that the ^PP doesn't have a close relationship with their son.

My son doesn't tell me everything, but he told me about the breakup, and what lead up to it. Prior to, he would tell me some things, like what they were planning for the future.

I'm grateful that he feels comfortable and close enough to me that he can talk to me about it.

Anonymous wrote:LOL, if my son was openly sharing about his love life to me I’d assume he was going to eventually realize he was gay. It’s extremely atypical for boys to be chitchatting with their moms about their girlfriends.

For the toxic boys, yes. Of course they won’t talk.

And the fact you think only gay boys talk to their moms just makes me realize your family is highly toxic.

LOL, if my son was openly sharing about his love life to me I’d assume he was going to eventually realize he was gay. It’s extremely atypical for boys to be chitchatting with their moms about their girlfriends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, he will not talk about it with you. This is normal behavior for a teen. Back off.

+1 These posts lately are making me nostalgic for my 90s upbringing when parents had no clue what their kids were thinking or doing.

80s too. And here we all are.

Anonymous wrote:No! In fact I heard from a friend’s mom that my son has a girlfriend. But he’s 12 and doesn’t have a phone and isn’t in any extracurriculars through school. He has never even asked to meet up with her! Not exactly sure what “girlfriend” means at this age.

Just talking at school.

Anonymous wrote:No

I have zero idea if they have ever kissed anyone. Neither had had a gf or bf for that matter

17 and 19

^ and we are a very close family—open up about all kinds of things. I was the same way as a teen/college—very secretive about my private life

No

I have zero idea if they have ever kissed anyone. Neither had had a gf or bf for that matter

17 and 19

No! In fact I heard from a friend’s mom that my son has a girlfriend. But he’s 12 and doesn’t have a phone and isn’t in any extracurriculars through school. He has never even asked to meet up with her! Not exactly sure what “girlfriend” means at this age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son does some but not a lot. I actually get more out of his girlfriend about him than I do him about his girlfriend. LOL

I found my son to be more open when he was in a secure relationship. He clams up when he is single.

I wish. My son’s GF is so needy and clingy and accuses him of anything and everything. She isn’t supportive of his basketball and gets jealous when he is out with any friends, even when he is just playing sports. He has a few friends since ES that are girls and she hates them. He seems to think that means she really likes him and I am like RED FLAG!!! But if I put my 2 cents in, he would probably like her more. Sigh

So here’s a good reason to talk.

My DDs basketball playing BF was actually cheating on her with the so-called “friend” from elementary school that she often asked him about. And that female “friend” of his was bullying my DD on social media. So she had good reason to not like them.

So before as mother of the BF you accuse the GF of being needy and accusational maybe it should occur to you your son isn’t so perfect. Maybe you should make an effort to inquire.

Think about that the next time you are at the club pool and see him hanging with his girl “friends” that are there this summer. And while you’re at it maybe think about what male role model closest to him taught him that behavior. It good to talk to your kids about their relationships so they learn how to treat each other with decency.

THIS

My DD is finally away from a very toxic boy who she tried very much to tell us he was good but had personal and family troubles and was really trying to better himself. But in reality he was cheating, gaslighting her into thinking it was her fault or just telling her she is lying/psycho for even thinking that. He was giving her the silent treatment and blocking her when she was “too much” but then constantly trying to get her back and saying how much he loved her when she would try and move on. I couldn’t believe my very strong willed, smart, and athletic daughter was drawn into this. Anyone can be.

She wasn’t fully honest with all of the manipulation but I could see and feel it. We never liked him. And after a bad night, I thoroughly went thru her phone and saw how he talked to her and demeaned her and was shocked. He also was into a lot of drugs and saying she is the only one that can help him. She felt a ton of guilt and not being good enough and I can be the only person who can help him, etc… We demanded no more contact and a lot of therapy and she is FINALLY recovering and learning to love herself again.

So be very diligent about these teen relationships and talk to your kids. Boys or girls and make sure their relationships are healthy and not toxic. No thinking boys will be boys. No thinking your smart girl won’t fall for a narcissist. Parent and guide them.

One of my sons spills all the beans. Definitely talks about stuff I never would have discussed with my very involved loving parents. My other one keeps things much closer to his chest.

I encourage him by not over reacting, empathizing instead of offering too much direct advice, and using humor. He tells me a lot while walking the dog. He’s pretty level headed and thoughtful, and seems to value our guidance, which I think makes it easier to discuss things on his terms.

I don’t think I’ll ever have those same conversations with his brother so I try to encourage that kind of talk with older brother when younger brother is nearby so he can absorb my quality relationship advice from a distance!

Mine talks to me about his crushes. He has been on a couple dates here and there but most girls don't seem interested in having a boyfriend. Some toy with him for a while before calling it off.