Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks. So how do private schools handle students with special needs? Do they have separate classes and separate special-ed teachers?

What kinds of extra curriculars? As in more math clubs and things like?

They don’t accept kids with special needs.

That’s not true! Three kids in my child’s first grade class of 14 were dyslexic and had other learning disabilities! In this case, they had special tutoring every single day. I can’t comment on it because I don’t know the quality of the tutoring for special needs. But I really hope that it was better than what my child got in the enrichment group (4 kids). The school made it sound like they were differentiating, but in practice, it was no different (in pace or depth) than what the rest of the class learned.

I’m amazed at the comments that assume that special needs kids don’t get accepted into privates. Maybe not for elite high schools, but otherwise, that’s just not true.

I teach in a public school and my kids attend the same school, and it is depressing as heck. But we can’t afford anything else.

90% of my day is dealing with behaviors while the rest of kids just sit there, and this is first grade.

There are no consequences. My own children and plenty of kids in my class want to learn but they can’t because the kids are already checked out and goofing off.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks. So how do private schools handle students with special needs? Do they have separate classes and separate special-ed teachers?

What kinds of extra curriculars? As in more math clubs and things like?

They don’t accept kids with special needs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have to justify that they are spending $30,000 a year. We recently switched from private to public because the private couldn’t meet the needs of my SN daughter. Both of my kids are thriving in public and we are fortunate that our public schools are best in class. We don’t live in DMV.

My kids are not SN. I think most people would agree that public is better for SN, unless it is an SN-specific private.

That said, I do not know why OP is asking this question. If she cannot afford private then what is the point? It would be like me asking if flying in private jets is really all that compared to flying commercial.

OP here. I asked the question to understand the differences between public vs private and what my kids are missing that we could make up through other means if possible.
I don't think your private jet and commercial analogy is really relevant.

No school is perfect, public or private. Regardless of where you student goes, it is your job as parent to keep on top of what they are doing at school and where their deficiencies are. Then actively work on those, among other enriching activities outside of school. Low screen time at home, no video games, talk to your kids, play with them, teach them interesting things, go to the library often.

Encourage friendships with kids that are a positive influence and activities that tend to have a higher percentage of those kids, or individual sports

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No better outcome for college comes from private. FULL STOP

This is a myth fueled anecdotally, not by actual data. Sure, you “know” tons of public school kids who got into Harvard. But the percentage of public school kids is astronomically larger than private. Adjust for those numbers.

https://www.entrepreneur.com/en-in/news-and-trends/study-shows-public-school-students-do-better-than-private/354897#:~:text=Sheils%20responds%2C%20%22Our%20findings%20from,admissions%20process%20at%20top%20colleges.%22

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No better outcome for college comes from private. FULL STOP

This is a myth fueled anecdotally, not by actual data. Sure, you “know” tons of public school kids who got into Harvard. But the percentage of public school kids is astronomically larger than private. Adjust for those numbers.

I’m sure this pp is actually correct if you control for family socioeconomic level, race, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have to justify that they are spending $30,000 a year. We recently switched from private to public because the private couldn’t meet the needs of my SN daughter. Both of my kids are thriving in public and we are fortunate that our public schools are best in class. We don’t live in DMV.

My kids are not SN. I think most people would agree that public is better for SN, unless it is an SN-specific private.

That said, I do not know why OP is asking this question. If she cannot afford private then what is the point? It would be like me asking if flying in private jets is really all that compared to flying commercial.

OP here. I asked the question to understand the differences between public vs private and what my kids are missing that we could make up through other means if possible.
I don't think your private jet and commercial analogy is really relevant.

No, you cannot make up for having reasonable class sizes, low screen time, and well-behaved peers. You can do all the enrichment and tutoring you want but that does not make up for having a better experience during the 7 hour school day. There is no point delving into this. Do not think about what you are missing in private, since it is not an option. Think about what could help your own child.

There is a point. Stop making yet OP feel like her child is missing out on something special when she is not.

Your first fallacy is to assume that most independents offer low screen time. Unless you’re at a classical academy (Christian school), a Waldorf or a Montessori, there is plenty, and I do mean plenty of screen time. In fact, I was shocked at the huge amount of screen time my kids spent at their NAIS darling. At our former fancy schmancy private, my child spent hours on EPIC, with guided reading. It’s essentially the same as watching tv with subtitles all day.

As for well-behaved peers, that was not my experience at private. A lot of the kids were dealing with all sorts of emotional issues, which is why their parents bucked up to pay for privates. No, it’s not your fault that mommy left daddy for another man, but it shows up in your emotions at school, regardless of whether or not you’re at a public or private.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have to justify that they are spending $30,000 a year. We recently switched from private to public because the private couldn’t meet the needs of my SN daughter. Both of my kids are thriving in public and we are fortunate that our public schools are best in class. We don’t live in DMV.

My kids are not SN. I think most people would agree that public is better for SN, unless it is an SN-specific private.

That said, I do not know why OP is asking this question. If she cannot afford private then what is the point? It would be like me asking if flying in private jets is really all that compared to flying commercial.

OP here. I asked the question to understand the differences between public vs private and what my kids are missing that we could make up through other means if possible.
I don't think your private jet and commercial analogy is really relevant.

No, you cannot make up for having reasonable class sizes, low screen time, and well-behaved peers. You can do all the enrichment and tutoring you want but that does not make up for having a better experience during the 7 hour school day. There is no point delving into this. Do not think about what you are missing in private, since it is not an option. Think about what could help your own child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They talk about it a lot because they need to justify spending that much money. But look, if you live in an area with a high low-income/non-English speaking population, then just know that public school resources will focus on getting those kids up to speed and a below average English speaker will be ignored or there may not be enough resources to focus on your kid who has an IEP or 504 for ADHD or dyslexia. If you live in a high SES area, then all the resources will be spread across all the students, and all the children will thrive. I know this from personal experience having moved and switched public schools within the same school district.

I would never send my child to private though, there are all sorts of social issues that come with that, plus the math instruction is pretty terrible.

Uh…considering in 2022 only 22% of 8th graders nationally met grade level proficiency in math, it looks like most schools are terrible at teaching math or kids are terrible at learning or both

PISA data and NAEP data all say that the US is terrible at teaching math, nationwide, and also that there is no meaningful difference in outcomes between public and private. I work in an Applied Physics Lab and I am sad to see these outcomes.

This is why there are so many math afterschool centers (AoPS, Kumon, Mathnasium, RSM) in this area and also why local bookstores have ready stock of the associated DIY math workbooks (Beast Academy, Kumon, et alia) for parents to use at home. The common thread among students who are high achievers in math at our W public or at the nearby privates is that most of those kids had supplemental math outside whichever (public or private) school they attend.

Before someone says regular public HSs offer more range of math offerings, I will note that at least the better privates (e.g., StA/NCS, GDS, Potomac) offer equally advanced math as a W high school or as McLean/Langley HSs - even if the private school’s class size for the most advanced math topic sometimes is tiny. StA/NCS will combine girls/boys together for such classes, although ordinarily each is a single-gender school. The exception here (i.e., having the most math offerings of all) would be TJ, for those in VA, and only because it is a selective magnet school.

Bottom line is that if one wants one’s DC to end up in a STEM career, rather than business/law/finance/medicine/dentistry/other, then one probably ought to actively supplement math instruction, regardless of which school one’s DC attends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my niece and nephew's Catholic school, the boys can't have hair that touches the collar of their uniform and no one can dye their hair an unnatural color.

All colors appear in nature.

Not in human hair they don’t.

Anonymous wrote:No better outcome for college comes from private. FULL STOP

This is a myth fueled anecdotally, not by actual data. Sure, you “know” tons of public school kids who got into Harvard. But the percentage of public school kids is astronomically larger than private. Adjust for those numbers.

Anonymous wrote:At my niece and nephew's Catholic school, the boys can't have hair that touches the collar of their uniform and no one can dye their hair an unnatural color.

All colors appear in nature.

Anonymous wrote:Our kids go to public school and they are really young now. I have always seen parents whose kids go to private schools passionately talk about private schools and how public schools are bad, but I have never known the exact reasons from them. We can't afford private schools, but I wanted to know what exactly are we missing by not sending kids to private schools. Are the academics different? Are there more extra-curricular activities that public school kids are missing? Does the difference become more evident with middle and high school age?

NOTE: This is not for getting anyone to fight. I just need some genuine facts. Thank you!

If you want people with the most experience with private schools commenting, post this in the private school forum.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very district and school dependent. I've worked in both public and private schools. I used to say that I didn't see the value in private elementary... but now I absolutely do. A LOT of teachers' and administrators' time and energy is spent dealing with the 3-4 kids in class with behavioral, psychological, and academic issues. Kids are pushed to mainstream when they have significant needs. The top kids get ignored. The middle kids get by.

There are also plenty of problematic private schools.

That said, I have my elementary child in public. I don't want to spend $20k a year and have him be snooty. I have kept him in public and tell him to be kind, help other kids, listen to the teachers, and to do his best. We add more math and literacy at home, as we learned way back in kindergarten that he wasn't getting nearly enough of it.

Ok, this just made me laugh a bit at the hypocrisy. So let me get this straight PP ... you want your child to be kind but do not hesitate to deal in generalizations and unkind comments about people you do not even know? Your opinion, PP, is not one that carries much weight if you ask me.

The private near me is fully of people who present as snooty. I’ve met people who send their kids there and met their kids. It’s not based on people I don’t know. Are ALL of them snooty? No.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have to justify that they are spending $30,000 a year. We recently switched from private to public because the private couldn’t meet the needs of my SN daughter. Both of my kids are thriving in public and we are fortunate that our public schools are best in class. We don’t live in DMV.

My kids are not SN. I think most people would agree that public is better for SN, unless it is an SN-specific private.

That said, I do not know why OP is asking this question. If she cannot afford private then what is the point? It would be like me asking if flying in private jets is really all that compared to flying commercial.

OP here. I asked the question to understand the differences between public vs private and what my kids are missing that we could make up through other means if possible.
I don't think your private jet and commercial analogy is really relevant.