DH is 56, and we have a bit more than a 10-year gap. Thus far, it's not an issue as he still works out a lot (more than ever now that our kids are in school and his career is established), has a full head of hair with a little grey, high energy, and he's around younger people due to my age and our kids' ages. I expect this will change someday and plan accordingly.

Anonymous wrote:Everyone would say 19 and 29 is inappropriate. But is 29 and 39 better or still too much of an experience gap?

But 39 and 49 seems okay too me, still a 10 year gap, but the life experience doesn't seem so drastic. Of course other things such as health concerns may arise

Thoughts?

AT 30 plus you can do what you want. If you are under 30, it is better to stick within a 2-5 year gap.

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Anonymous wrote:My grandparents had about a 20 year age difference and my grandfather died in his 80s, plus they had 8 children.

My grandmother never had to take care of an old man. My grandfather was active and a working physician until the last day of his life. He was never sick or incapacitated. She never had to be a nurse or purse. He went to work one day and died in his sleep. But he was obsessively vigilant about his health and his diet.

So sometimes these things shake out differently.

Are you not bothered by the fact your grandmother was marrying and impregnating someone barely legal when he was pushing 50

50 minus 20 is not barely legal.

Almost 50 is not 50 40 something minus ,20 is 30 something. In my world 20 something is barely legal especially when compared to someone in their 40s.
But I guess you're cool with that kinda thing

People in their 20s are adults and they were happily married for 40+ years so I guess I am ok with it?

At least you own being a creep.

Most people prefer not to introduce their SO as they are adults and mature for their age but you do you

It's Also okay to look at things with discernment my grandma married at a young age to an old ass man. They were married a long time but doesn't make the grooming okay

LOL is this trolling? she wasn’t a teen, she was in her 20s. No one even pressured her to get married. There was no grooming.

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Anonymous wrote:It’s all a crapshoot. My DH was gravely ill in his mid 40’s, with an autoimmune disease attacking his organs. He previously had zero health issues. His family has crazy longevity.

I have for sure aged a million years. We are only six years apart.

Exactly. My late DH and I had a 2-yr age gap. He dropped dead at 36. No guarantees.

It's not a crapshoot and while bim sorry for your losses people don't regularly die in their 30s or 40s.

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Anonymous wrote:My grandparents had about a 20 year age difference and my grandfather died in his 80s, plus they had 8 children.

My grandmother never had to take care of an old man. My grandfather was active and a working physician until the last day of his life. He was never sick or incapacitated. She never had to be a nurse or purse. He went to work one day and died in his sleep. But he was obsessively vigilant about his health and his diet.

So sometimes these things shake out differently.

Are you not bothered by the fact your grandmother was marrying and impregnating someone barely legal when he was pushing 50

50 minus 20 is not barely legal.

Almost 50 is not 50 40 something minus ,20 is 30 something. In my world 20 something is barely legal especially when compared to someone in their 40s.
But I guess you're cool with that kinda thing

People in their 20s are adults and they were happily married for 40+ years so I guess I am ok with it?

At least you own being a creep.

Most people prefer not to introduce their SO as they are adults and mature for their age but you do you

It's Also okay to look at things with discernment my grandma married at a young age to an old ass man. They were married a long time but doesn't make the grooming okay

My DH is 60, I’m 51. He’s still incredibly fit and energetic. No issues at all. It’s annoying actually that most people assume we’re the same age LOL The only thing I’ve noticed is a tiny decline in sexual behavior but his needs were off the charts until recently. I think a lot of men get old by 60. You need to find someone committed to being fit and healthy. It also helps that my DH loves his work and is very successful. It energizes him. My father was prematurely old and gray because his work was high stress.

Your question assumes the issue dissipates over time.

I think that past middle age, it could accelerate. One spouse still active and wants to travel. The other us declining physically or mentally and is ready for assisted living.

Seriously people. A big age gap could get really depressing and ugly over time.

What if the woman is older? Men seem to age faster…

Anonymous wrote:I think 35-45 up to 45-55 is good and then it gets bad again as aging really kicks in.

Agree with this. I'm 53, my husband 61 and he's starting to get lots of injuries anytime he tries to exercise in a serious way. I can already imagine that in 10 years he could seem "old" whereas I don't feel anywhere close to that yet. Of course you never know when a precipitous health downturn is going to strike, but I agree that when aging kicks in is where you start to see the gap. A mature 20-something with a 30-something is fine, and all those iterations in the middle but 50 or 60+ is when it gets evident. There are always exceptions, like Harrison Ford is ridiculous for 80!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s all a crapshoot. My DH was gravely ill in his mid 40’s, with an autoimmune disease attacking his organs. He previously had zero health issues. His family has crazy longevity.

I have for sure aged a million years. We are only six years apart.

Exactly. My late DH and I had a 2-yr age gap. He dropped dead at 36. No guarantees.

Well you would've been 26 and widowed, ready to mingle! Instead you're 34.

I think 35-45 up to 45-55 is good and then it gets bad again as aging really kicks in.