Anonymous wrote:70s kid here, and we worked on scary decorations to put in the yard (homemade spiderweb, zombie scarecrow, etc) a few weeks ahead of time and planned elaborately gruesome costumes with our friends (most of which we ended up not making) for much of October. We had a school party sometime during the runup, too, and carved pumpkins a day or two ahead of time. It was fun. It's fun doing the same with my kid now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do think leaving a bucket of candy on the porch so all the adults can head out is lame. It’s a small thing, but yet another reason kids don’t develop social skills.

The grownups can deal with their FOMO and take turns handing out candy.

I put a bucket on my porch and watch TV with my dog in the back of the house. It’s not FOMO. It’s just annoying.

Speaking of developing social skills….

I don’t need to socialize with random preschoolers who don’t even live on my street.

It’s a start for a hermit like you

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid Halloween was one day only: a party at school, then TOTing in the neighborhood with our parent/siblings. Past 4th grade-ish maybe being allowed to go alone with friends from the neighborhood. The only “decor” was pumpkins. A couple of Halloween-loving homes would do more.

By the time Halloween rolls around, everyone seems sick of Halloween already and has attended multiple parties, Trunk or Treats etc.

Big TOTing groups/parties were not a thing. It wasn’t really a big social event- definitely not for parents. The parents just walked with us to supervise and that was it.

Same with Christmas. It’s sad. Everyone starts so early that by the time Christmas Day rolls around everyone is tired of it and ready to take the tree down. Christmas Day is the 1st day in the 12 days of Christmas.

Anonymous wrote:
Not only that, but the more kids that get together, the more kids there are that feel excluded. Its a lot of hurtful feelings but the parents don't care and just get defensive saying its not their fault their kid is so popular or some other garbage response.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid Halloween was one day only: a party at school, then TOTing in the neighborhood with our parent/siblings. Past 4th grade-ish maybe being allowed to go alone with friends from the neighborhood. The only “decor” was pumpkins. A couple of Halloween-loving homes would do more.

By the time Halloween rolls around, everyone seems sick of Halloween already and has attended multiple parties, Trunk or Treats etc.

Big TOTing groups/parties were not a thing. It wasn’t really a big social event- definitely not for parents. The parents just walked with us to supervise and that was it.

Same with Christmas. It’s sad. Everyone starts so early that by the time Christmas Day rolls around everyone is tired of it and ready to take the tree down. Christmas Day is the 1st day in the 12 days of Christmas.

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid Halloween was one day only: a party at school, then TOTing in the neighborhood with our parent/siblings. Past 4th grade-ish maybe being allowed to go alone with friends from the neighborhood. The only “decor” was pumpkins. A couple of Halloween-loving homes would do more.

By the time Halloween rolls around, everyone seems sick of Halloween already and has attended multiple parties, Trunk or Treats etc.

Big TOTing groups/parties were not a thing. It wasn’t really a big social event- definitely not for parents. The parents just walked with us to supervise and that was it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do think leaving a bucket of candy on the porch so all the adults can head out is lame. It’s a small thing, but yet another reason kids don’t develop social skills.

The grownups can deal with their FOMO and take turns handing out candy.

I put a bucket on my porch and watch TV with my dog in the back of the house. It’s not FOMO. It’s just annoying.

Speaking of developing social skills….

I don’t need to socialize with random preschoolers who don’t even live on my street.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do think leaving a bucket of candy on the porch so all the adults can head out is lame. It’s a small thing, but yet another reason kids don’t develop social skills.

The grownups can deal with their FOMO and take turns handing out candy.

I put a bucket on my porch and watch TV with my dog in the back of the house. It’s not FOMO. It’s just annoying.

Speaking of developing social skills….

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m with you OP. Halloween is by far my least favorite holiday because of the social stress. My oldest is with his dad every other year on Halloween (and every other weekend), plus he plays a travel sport outside of the community, so he gets forgotten in Halloween. My younger kids have a great time with a solid friend group and we’re close with their parents’ friends, but I feel terrible about how Halloween went down for my older kid this year. I think he’s aging out of trick or treating (7th grade) or at least almost to a point where it’ll be kids organizing it rather than parents.

I think this is the biggest factor in whether Halloween is fun or not. I didn't have a solid friend group when I was a kid so Halloween was stressful and I was happy to outgrow it. Fortunately, my kids both have great friend groups in our neighborhood and we have a great ToT neighborhood so I was surprised at how fun it is. As DD's gotten older and loves crafting elaborate costumes the only downside is that she gets stressed out about finishing her creation on time.

Our neighborhood has 1 acre plus lots and is hilly, so kids or their parents have to arrange ToT with friend groups in nearby neighborhoods, which I think contributes to why I dislike Halloween as it relates to my tween. He is generally a social kid and gets invited to birthday parties and other things, but he had no one this year to ToT with and just had to follow around with our group of much younger kids. I feel like a failure as a parent for not figuring it out for him, but he's in that in-between stage right now where it's not clear to me when I should get involved in social planning versus letting it work itself out among the kids. I am an introvert, and arranging social things is the hardest part of parenting for me, especially for his peer group. It made me think we've failed him by focusing so much on sports so far outside of the community rather than just staying local and building friendships. Maybe having a wholesome social life is more important than chasing success in a sport.

So much self-inflicted angst. Maybe your kid is completely fine and just didn't have anyone to ToT with this year and then had a good time with the younger kids. It doesn't have to be such a big deal.

Anonymous wrote:I do think leaving a bucket of candy on the porch so all the adults can head out is lame. It’s a small thing, but yet another reason kids don’t develop social skills.

The grownups can deal with their FOMO and take turns handing out candy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do think leaving a bucket of candy on the porch so all the adults can head out is lame. It’s a small thing, but yet another reason kids don’t develop social skills.

The grownups can deal with their FOMO and take turns handing out candy.

I put a bucket on my porch and watch TV with my dog in the back of the house. It’s not FOMO. It’s just annoying.