I am really most sad when my favorite authors die. It means no more of their books. I suspect it is the same with any artist that people admire. And its not difficult to comprehend this.

Anonymous wrote:I hope this doesn’t sound too callous. With Matthew Perry’s death I am seeing all these people posting about how much they loved him - people who have never met him. If you’re one of these people, what drives your attachment to pop culture figures you don’t actually know?

I am not posting about how much I loved him but did listen to tributes respectfully.

1. Collective rather than individual consciousness - I think in our society we are often a little too skewed to individual experiences - but we are mammals/ social animals needs. This is a low stakes way to feel connected to a recognizable herd of Friends Fans.

2. Reminder of earlier stages in my life when Friends was popular. Some people knew every episode.

3. Admiration for creative and comedic talents and empathy for mental health challenges that often accompany many creative gifts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope this doesn’t sound too callous. With Matthew Perry’s death I am seeing all these people posting about how much they loved him - people who have never met him. If you’re one of these people, what drives your attachment to pop culture figures you don’t actually know?

I fully agree with you, OP. It's so fake. If sooo many people actually cared about Matthew Perry, then they would've prevented his s**cide. No, let's all engage in pearl-clutching and concern-trolling now that the unfortunate man is gone.

I mean, I felt for him because it's not fun being a human being on this Earth and Matthew Perry was a human like me, but I also just went about my day without too much further thought. I have actual crises in my own life and actual loved ones who died. I don't give energy to celebrities because they are usually narcissists.

I find it very telling that this society needs to splash a celebrity s**cide all over the news, but says nothing for all the abandoned, neglected homeless people and poor people who die every day.

My work involves caring for the poor and disenfranchised and I don't give a f*** about celebrity deaths, for the most part.

NP. Zero evidence at this point that he committed suicide, PP. Stating it with such definitiveness, as you do, is making a huge assumption. The coroner's office has said that they can't pinpoint a cause of death or the circumstances at this point and will say more when they have toxicology reports, which are not ready yet. And a set of weird IG posts, mostly about a character he has been known for decades to enjoy, does not add up to a suicide note.

Since you and OP are in your own ways being "performative" here to show off how much you don't care about celebrity deaths: If you say, why am I bothering to correct you? Well, I haven't ever made it through an entire episode of "Friends" and have seen Perry in exactly one thing (West Wing). But I will call it out when people post as if they have inside knowledge about someone, when all they have is their own assumption based either on rumors, or based on nothing at all.

Anonymous wrote:I hope this doesn’t sound too callous. With Matthew Perry’s death I am seeing all these people posting about how much they loved him - people who have never met him. If you’re one of these people, what drives your attachment to pop culture figures you don’t actually know?

I fully agree with you, OP. It's so fake. If sooo many people actually cared about Matthew Perry, then they would've prevented his s**cide. No, let's all engage in pearl-clutching and concern-trolling now that the unfortunate man is gone.

I mean, I felt for him because it's not fun being a human being on this Earth and Matthew Perry was a human like me, but I also just went about my day without too much further thought. I have actual crises in my own life and actual loved ones who died. I don't give energy to celebrities because they are usually narcissists.

I find it very telling that this society needs to splash a celebrity s**cide all over the news, but says nothing for all the abandoned, neglected homeless people and poor people who die every day.

My work involves caring for the poor and disenfranchised and I don't give a f*** about celebrity deaths, for the most part.

This explains it nicely. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPR7TcAmo/

Anonymous wrote:I hope this doesn’t sound too callous. With Matthew Perry’s death I am seeing all these people posting about how much they loved him - people who have never met him. If you’re one of these people, what drives your attachment to pop culture figures you don’t actually know?

I have only seen people post general things about Perry's death ("how sad!" / "watching Friends will never be the same" / etc.), so I don't think it's over the top.

But when Michael Jackson died I had this same reaction - the wailing and gnashing of teeth was shocking to me. Yes, he was a generational talent, but he was also clearly an unhealthy person and I'm not sure why people expected him to live to 100. I didn't say anything about it because the reactions seemed genuine as opposed to performative, but the depth of emotion was baffling to me.

Anonymous wrote:I hope this doesn’t sound too callous. With Matthew Perry’s death I am seeing all these people posting about how much they loved him - people who have never met him. If you’re one of these people, what drives your attachment to pop culture figures you don’t actually know?

I suspect because we watch the show/shows they are in and the characters they play become real people to us. Of course, we are devastated by "Chandler Bing" aka Matthew Perry's death.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope this doesn’t sound too callous. With Matthew Perry’s death I am seeing all these people posting about how much they loved him - people who have never met him. If you’re one of these people, what drives your attachment to pop culture figures you don’t actually know?

\


I always wonder why people like op post on the very day that we find out that someone we watched for so long died. Sure strangers die but, this person is a shared experience. For those of us who watched Friends it is a shared loss.. I am not in mourning but, I am saddened..

Op are you AI? Do you not have any feelings for others?

OP you do sound weird/cold. Are you one of those strange people who prefers animals to people?

I was sad about this one because of his apparent cries for help a week prior. It’s a pretty sad story. If there was a movie with that plot it would probably make people sad too.

I would never make a rambling Facebook post about it, but if that’s what helps someone else process then move on, go for it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope this doesn’t sound too callous. With Matthew Perry’s death I am seeing all these people posting about how much they loved him - people who have never met him. If you’re one of these people, what drives your attachment to pop culture figures you don’t actually know?

\


I always wonder why people like op post on the very day that we find out that someone we watched for so long died. Sure strangers die but, this person is a shared experience. For those of us who watched Friends it is a shared loss.. I am not in mourning but, I am saddened..

Op are you AI? Do you not have any feelings for others?

OP here. I posted because my social media was absolutely flooded by people saying they loved him and it felt very performative to me. I guess I could have phrased my question better and asked why people post about it, as if the death of a celebrity who is not even aware of their presence is somehow about them.

People post about it because people post every thought and feeling they have. It’s as performative as everything else on social media. I immediately texted a close friend who I watched Friends with growing up, because I wanted to express the particular feeling I was having. Which is that it was sad! Friends jokes are a part of my vernacular. Through his character, Matthew Perry gave me so many years of laughter. We were all rooting for his to have many years of laughter, too.

Most of us can feel many things for people we don’t know. Because stories move us. That’s what makes us human versus, say, a dog.

We can read books and movies and be moved to tears by characters. Celebrities are real people, and we grew up watching them and knowing their own stories. This person’s story has a really sad ending, so we feel sad. And he had a huge platform in Friends, so there are lots of people feeling sad at once.

Everything about our culture preys on our ability to imagine things and be moved by other people’s stories. Commercials. Books. TV. Social media. Religion. Politics.

NP.
Why? Because people feel connections to certain celebrities. This is not new.

Just fill in the blank:
Why do people care when _______ pass away?

Kobe Bryant
Prince
Aretha Franklin
...

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it part of the human condition to care?

A lot of people have memories connected to Friends. I have memories of crowding around a tv in a dorm room on Thursday nights and watching Friends. I think people also turned to Friends when they needed to be comforted or needed a laugh.

Saying that, I often feel upset when people I don't know. Murder, cancer, animal cruelty, child abuse, etc. It comes from a place of feeling that this shouldn't have happened and it shouldn't be this way. I don't have to know someone to feel something for them.

I really love Friends and I have the kind of memories that PP is referring to. It's still a pick-me-up when I am feeling a little down. It's just a very warm and funny show and has a huge nostalgia factor. So it does feel "end of an era" that one of the Friends is gone.