Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, have you been with your DH since college or grad school? I'm asking because it seems like you may be hesitant to leave due to your history.

Yes. He is my first boyfriend and we met right after graduate school. I do not know what I would do single!

Are you both overspenders? Seems odd that you are both graduate school grads can’t afford a single family house together.

Anonymous wrote:Op, have you been with your DH since college or grad school? I'm asking because it seems like you may be hesitant to leave due to your history.

Yes. He is my first boyfriend and we met right after graduate school. I do not know what I would do single!

I don’t think the relevant question is what’s reasonable to want. The relevant question is what you want, what’s attainable, what you’re going to do to attain it, then how you’re going to make peace with the things you wanted but couldn’t get.

I wanted a husband and kids in a big house too, but my husband cheated on me and left me before we had kids. Post divorce I had a baby on my own and we live in a small apartment and will never have a SFH. (And won’t have a husband any time soon because man I’m tired.) You get some of what you want if you make it happen, but not all of what you want probably, and then you just have to deal.

Anonymous wrote:It's always about money with you women, isn't it?

Comfortable life cost money did you hear that ?

Op, have you been with your DH since college or grad school? I'm asking because it seems like you may be hesitant to leave due to your history.

It's always about money with you women, isn't it?

Anonymous wrote:This except the go to Prague bit clearly ridiculous if you aren’t rich like this poster assumes.

Anonymous wrote:Freeze your eggs. (Do 2 cycles at your age. Go abroad to Prague if you can’t afford it here.)

Get divorced.

Go to therapy, the gym, the salon etc. Find the right partner and pursue your dreams as a more self-aware, strong, and attractive person.

Airfare plus accommodation and paying for ivf put together in Prague is way cheaper than here if you are self pay.

Anonymous wrote:You can create those things for yourself. Dutch the DH, but or rent a small, cozy home, have kids on your own. He’s deadweight.

Do this, and quickly. You’re not 40 yet, so move move move!

You get to create the life and lifestyle you want. You can’t expect someone else to create your life for you. If you want a house instead of an apartment, go buy one.

You are almost 40. Clock running out on kids without help. Time to ditch this loser guy and get the life you want. Today not soon enough. Pack now.

This except the go to Prague bit clearly ridiculous if you aren’t rich like this poster assumes.

Anonymous wrote:Freeze your eggs. (Do 2 cycles at your age. Go abroad to Prague if you can’t afford it here.)

Get divorced.

Go to therapy, the gym, the salon etc. Find the right partner and pursue your dreams as a more self-aware, strong, and attractive person.

it's easy to get stuck ... but you can make changes that will make you happier. If you have a baby with this guy, it's going to be so, so much harder to leave when you want to. Leave him now while you both don't have a lot of money and then work on your career. Without him dragging you down, you'll have the energy and time you need.