Anonymous wrote:I cancelled on someone for trick or treating plans. I think it’s ok because the family we were going with can still trick or treat. It’s not like a playdate that just doesn’t happen if we don’t come. They will go without us. (They live in the “good” neighborhood and we were going to join them.) I cancelled because our older boys keep getting into tiffs and could use some time apart. I’m not spending Halloween night mediating. Especially when the mom from the other family gets super upset every time the kids get into it. I think our family and their family aren’t good candidates to be family friends anymore. The younger siblings are in school together and can keep seeing each other at school, and that will be plenty.

The point is, sometimes it’s all more complicated than you think.

I didn’t say all of this to the other mom because she gets hurt so easily.

Anonymous wrote:Kids can sometimes dig their heels in, as we all now. If it was my kid I would have had them call or write OPs kid and share the change in plans.

Anonymous wrote:I cancelled on someone for trick or treating plans. I think it’s ok because the family we were going with can still trick or treat. It’s not like a playdate that just doesn’t happen if we don’t come. They will go without us. (They live in the “good” neighborhood and we were going to join them.) I cancelled because our older boys keep getting into tiffs and could use some time apart. I’m not spending Halloween night mediating. Especially when the mom from the other family gets super upset every time the kids get into it. I think our family and their family aren’t good candidates to be family friends anymore. The younger siblings are in school together and can keep seeing each other at school, and that will be plenty.

The point is, sometimes it’s all more complicated than you think.

I didn’t say all of this to the other mom because she gets hurt so easily.

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Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I miss the days when you just walked around with whoever was in the neighborhood. Now, like everything else in their lives, it’s an orchestrated production.

I turned down an invite for one of my kids for this reason. Halloween doesn’t need to be play date-ified. I don’t want to drive my kids to another neighborhood to ToT there and then go back and pick them up. It’s supposed to be an organic neighborhood thing- you walk out of your house, ToT at your own neighbors’ houses, walk with the kids who live near you, then walk right back into your own house to plunder your loot. No dates. No driving elsewhere.

At a certain age, the kids want to go with their actual friends. That’s probably what happened to OP. The other kid made plans with friends from school and his parents weren’t aware when they agreed to the traditional plan.

They clearly knew or they never would’ve texted OP about it.

Or they texted OP when they found out about the plans. They were telling her the kid made other plans. OP viewed it as them cancelling, which they did. But maybe the kid never knew his parents were still planning on this with an old friend from a different school.

That all is possible. They still should own it (op’s friends)

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Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I miss the days when you just walked around with whoever was in the neighborhood. Now, like everything else in their lives, it’s an orchestrated production.

I turned down an invite for one of my kids for this reason. Halloween doesn’t need to be play date-ified. I don’t want to drive my kids to another neighborhood to ToT there and then go back and pick them up. It’s supposed to be an organic neighborhood thing- you walk out of your house, ToT at your own neighbors’ houses, walk with the kids who live near you, then walk right back into your own house to plunder your loot. No dates. No driving elsewhere.

At a certain age, the kids want to go with their actual friends. That’s probably what happened to OP. The other kid made plans with friends from school and his parents weren’t aware when they agreed to the traditional plan.

They clearly knew or they never would’ve texted OP about it.

Or they texted OP when they found out about the plans. They were telling her the kid made other plans. OP viewed it as them cancelling, which they did. But maybe the kid never knew his parents were still planning on this with an old friend from a different school.

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I miss the days when you just walked around with whoever was in the neighborhood. Now, like everything else in their lives, it’s an orchestrated production.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I miss the days when you just walked around with whoever was in the neighborhood. Now, like everything else in their lives, it’s an orchestrated production.

I turned down an invite for one of my kids for this reason. Halloween doesn’t need to be play date-ified. I don’t want to drive my kids to another neighborhood to ToT there and then go back and pick them up. It’s supposed to be an organic neighborhood thing- you walk out of your house, ToT at your own neighbors’ houses, walk with the kids who live near you, then walk right back into your own house to plunder your loot. No dates. No driving elsewhere.

At a certain age, the kids want to go with their actual friends. That’s probably what happened to OP. The other kid made plans with friends from school and his parents weren’t aware when they agreed to the traditional plan.

They clearly knew or they never would’ve texted OP about it.

Anonymous wrote:Just to offer a different perspective, did HIS parents know about and confirm the plans ahead of time? Or is this something you only assumed they had approved?
7/8 year olds still need supervision.
If your kid “arranged” for this on his own (and it wasn’t you arranging directly with other kid’s parents), it is possible that their family got an invite from another group and when the kid said “but I’m already going with Larlo”—there was a discussion about how to handle and the mom just said she’d text larlo’s mom and let her know he has other plans.

Maybe that didn’t happen this way.
But if it was firm in YOUR eyes but ambiguous (or even unknown) in their eyes, then that is a possible explanation.

If they knew and confirmed WITH YOU directly and then pulled the switcher op for a better invitation, then they suck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I miss the days when you just walked around with whoever was in the neighborhood. Now, like everything else in their lives, it’s an orchestrated production.

I turned down an invite for one of my kids for this reason. Halloween doesn’t need to be play date-ified. I don’t want to drive my kids to another neighborhood to ToT there and then go back and pick them up. It’s supposed to be an organic neighborhood thing- you walk out of your house, ToT at your own neighbors’ houses, walk with the kids who live near you, then walk right back into your own house to plunder your loot. No dates. No driving elsewhere.

At a certain age, the kids want to go with their actual friends. That’s probably what happened to OP. The other kid made plans with friends from school and his parents weren’t aware when they agreed to the traditional plan.

Anonymous wrote:Very rude. My child was invited by a group and he said yes. Another group asked him today that he would probably prefer but he told them he already told another group he would go with them.

My daughter got invited by a few girls. She wants to go with a different group. The kids aren’t old enough to have phones. I have not yet reached out to the ones my daughter wants to go with so I have not answered the other requests yet. Not responding is also rude but I think it is less rude than saying yes and canceling for new plans.

I hate adults who do this as well.