Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've left my 6yo at home when she's been home sick to go pick up my son from preschool. It's 15 minute walking round trip. She was on the couch watching TV the whole time. I felt totally fine with it (we live in a small apartment building, she could get a neighbor if she needed). That said, I can't imagine letting my son do the same at her age. Very different kids.

This is fairly common in my neighborhood, at least among people I've confessed this to. Lots of dogs being walked around the block, quick trips to the corner store, etc while 6-7yo are content at home. I'd say 20 mins would be my maximum comfort level, and no driving involved, but that may just be bc I'm in a city and driving feels risky vs walking.

What kind of lazy kids are these. The 6-7yo should be helping to walk the dog and make the corner store runs.

Dp is your 6 year old ready to face an unleashed dog attacking your dog? Your dog pulling your child down? Dealing with homeless and mentally unwell people on the walk to the corner store? Bad things happen and six year olds are babies!

PP said HELPING, like going with the parent. Not walking a dog on their own at 6 years old.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way and I can’t believe how people are saying they would. They must not understand brain development. You might think your kid is “mature” for 6 (a ridiculous concept) and that you have done such a great job teaching them life skills, but there is going to be an element of unpredictability to their behavior and decision making simply due to their age. Especially if something unexpected happens to you or in the home while you’re gone. You aren’t teaching a 6 year old independence and life skills leaving them home alone. You’re making them feel unsafe whether they verbalize it or not.

There’s a reason it’s illegal. I can’t believe this has to be explained to some of you. Having kids isn’t always convenient. Did you not think about this type of thing when you decided to have multiple children?

It is shocking to me that people are getting this dramatic about people leaving kids alone for 10-20 minutes. They’re alone that long if I’m mowing the lawn! I mean I would not drive a half hour away to go to the grocery store and leave a kid alone but my god, walking the dog? Picking up a sibling? Going to a nearby shop for a gallon of milk? Kids, when taught and believed in, are more competent and smart than anyone gives them credit for (asterisk for depends on the kid here)

+1

NEVER

Anonymous wrote:No way and I can’t believe how people are saying they would. They must not understand brain development. You might think your kid is “mature” for 6 (a ridiculous concept) and that you have done such a great job teaching them life skills, but there is going to be an element of unpredictability to their behavior and decision making simply due to their age. Especially if something unexpected happens to you or in the home while you’re gone. You aren’t teaching a 6 year old independence and life skills leaving them home alone. You’re making them feel unsafe whether they verbalize it or not.

There’s a reason it’s illegal. I can’t believe this has to be explained to some of you. Having kids isn’t always convenient. Did you not think about this type of thing when you decided to have multiple children?

It is shocking to me that people are getting this dramatic about people leaving kids alone for 10-20 minutes. They’re alone that long if I’m mowing the lawn! I mean I would not drive a half hour away to go to the grocery store and leave a kid alone but my god, walking the dog? Picking up a sibling? Going to a nearby shop for a gallon of milk? Kids, when taught and believed in, are more competent and smart than anyone gives them credit for (asterisk for depends on the kid here)

No, a child this age is not equipped to deal with an emergency.

No way and I can’t believe how people are saying they would. They must not understand brain development. You might think your kid is “mature” for 6 (a ridiculous concept) and that you have done such a great job teaching them life skills, but there is going to be an element of unpredictability to their behavior and decision making simply due to their age. Especially if something unexpected happens to you or in the home while you’re gone. You aren’t teaching a 6 year old independence and life skills leaving them home alone. You’re making them feel unsafe whether they verbalize it or not.

There’s a reason it’s illegal. I can’t believe this has to be explained to some of you. Having kids isn’t always convenient. Did you not think about this type of thing when you decided to have multiple children?

I would probably say "if you listen and learn, you can be ready to do this when you turn 7" and now that you've got a captive audience, focus in on critical skills before then. Does she know:

Her full name, address, your full names, both your phone numbers, all by heart?
Presumably she'd have access to a phone. Does she know how to call you both? Does she know how/when to call 911?
Do you have a list of emergency numbers? Does she know where they are?

What to do in a variety of situations:
1) Fire alarm goes off
2) There's a fire
3) Someone is trying to break in
4) A stranger knocks on the door
5) A neighbor knocks on the door
6) She slips and falls in the house and hurts her ankle and can't walk
7) What if you lock yourself out?

Then, yes, I'd let her stay home once I felt good about all her responses to these sorts of things and a bunch of varieties. Think even bigger than what would happen this year in 10 minutes, but use this as an excuse to teach a bunch of life skills (phone/door manners, problem solving, etc).

Yes but only in a pinch (eg illness), not as a general practice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t this illegal? No way would I drive away and leave my 6 or 7 year old home alone. You all are out of your mind.

Agree
Lazy and negligent

If your 7yo would literally be in immediate physical danger if you left them unsupervised that is entirely on you and your poor parenting/unsafe home. You’re failing your kids if you aren’t equipping them to handle even mildly difficult life situations. My 7 and 9 yo get themselves to school on the subway every day and your 7yo needs to be in your direct line of sight at all times or something terrible will happen? You probably need anxiety meds, sorry

A fire could happen, choking, medical emergency, a robbery....sorry you are lazy.

I valued my kids and never cut corners. My kids are older now.

Subway?? How lazy are you? I drove my kids to and from school especially at that age. You kinda suck.

I mean if you live in an area where there are regular robberies I agree that you should not leave the kids home alone. But age 6/7 is when kids can in fact start to be alone sometimes. They could choke alone in their bedroom!

I don't think of this as cutting corners, I think of this kind of thing as the first step in learning how to be home alone. A 10 minute period alone where I say, drive up to the school for five minutes to pick up a sibling is a controlled exercise in teaching independence. I'm not gone so long that anything will likely happen. But long enough that the kid feels the weight of being alone for a few minutes and can begin to get comfortable with it. To me these moments are kind of the opposite of cutting corners because they feel uncomfortable for me but help my kids grow.

Although of course this 100% depends on the kid, the neighborhood/building you live in etc.

I also know many kids who take the subway with and without their parents, do you not know any new yorkers?

I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving anyone under 10 alone and unsupervised unless its an acute emergency, they are mature enough and house is secured.

My kids aren't that old yet but we live in IL where just last year the legal age to be home along was FINALLY changed from 14 which was the strictest in the nation.

No, because they have no concept of time and after 5 minutes would probably go outside and start screaming for me…then the neighbors would come over.

No. Just no…but that is my kid.

My 7 yo DD hates being alone, so I personally wouldn't leave her for longer than a walk to the neighbor's and back. We just started leaving DS alone for longer periods of time at 10 once he had an ipad and could contact us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've left my 6yo at home when she's been home sick to go pick up my son from preschool. It's 15 minute walking round trip. She was on the couch watching TV the whole time. I felt totally fine with it (we live in a small apartment building, she could get a neighbor if she needed). That said, I can't imagine letting my son do the same at her age. Very different kids.

This is fairly common in my neighborhood, at least among people I've confessed this to. Lots of dogs being walked around the block, quick trips to the corner store, etc while 6-7yo are content at home. I'd say 20 mins would be my maximum comfort level, and no driving involved, but that may just be bc I'm in a city and driving feels risky vs walking.

What kind of lazy kids are these. The 6-7yo should be helping to walk the dog and make the corner store runs.

Dp is your 6 year old ready to face an unleashed dog attacking your dog? Your dog pulling your child down? Dealing with homeless and mentally unwell people on the walk to the corner store? Bad things happen and six year olds are babies!

NO!!!!

My mom used to leave me in the mornings when I was 6-7 to drop my older sister off at school. It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes. I was very well behaved. I didn’t get killed or maimed. There were no fires or incidents at the house

BUT I WAS TERRIFIED.

Sure, sometimes I’d sleep through the whole thing, but if not, it was ten minutes of pure terror. I was too afraid to even say anything.

Which is why, I’m sure my mom thought she was doing me a favor. She was not.

Six is too young to leave a child at home! Those laws exist for good reason.