Anonymous
09/21/2023 14:09
Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I feel so sorry for your husband. You clearly do not love him. Why on earth would you do anything to please you?
He shouldn’t be taking care of his own children and household to “please her”. He should be doing it because he’s a grown ass adult.
+1. He should absolutely be taking care of his own kids no matter what she does or doesn't do.
And she shouldn't be getting involved with him romantically because he's taking care of his kids. She should be doing it because he's theoretically the person she loves best in the world and who she swore to be with forever.
Sure, but even if you don’t feel like being a good parent or a good spouse, you should still try to fake it.
having sex when you don't feel like it seems a bit rapey, or like duty sex. Gross.
If you are married to the same person for more than 25 years, it's duty sex most of the time. Duh.
Anonymous
09/21/2023 14:08
Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP said "I've also stated the problem fairly clearly to him and he does the half asked "well i asked you about your day yesterday and cleaned up the kitchen once" like that changes years of the dynamic."
Here is the problem: She has not been clear.
Here is what she should say to her husband: "I am still horny and want to have sex all of the time, but not with you. But that can change that. I don't F*** you because you don't pull your weight around here and it is unattractive. Nothing dries out my p*ssy more than a lazy man, which is what your are. If you really put in an effort, I will F*** you five times a week. If you don't, I will eventually look elsewhere. You decide."
Men can't possibly be so dumb you have to be this blunt?
Oh yes. They can.
I can see him pouting about it for a few days but then it will finally click,
Anonymous
09/21/2023 14:03
Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:OP said "I've also stated the problem fairly clearly to him and he does the half asked "well i asked you about your day yesterday and cleaned up the kitchen once" like that changes years of the dynamic."
Here is the problem: She has not been clear.
Here is what she should say to her husband: "I am still horny and want to have sex all of the time, but not with you. But that can change that. I don't F*** you because you don't pull your weight around here and it is unattractive. Nothing dries out my p*ssy more than a lazy man, which is what your are. If you really put in an effort, I will F*** you five times a week. If you don't, I will eventually look elsewhere. You decide."
Men can't possibly be so dumb you have to be this blunt?
Anonymous
09/21/2023 13:02
Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:While you OP (a woman) are fine going sexless, be advised that men don't do that. So he is 100% most definitely getting sex elsewhere. But do carry on with your perfect sexless (for you) marriage OP.
Looooool you think women are just throwing themselves at pot-bellied mid-40s men with sour attitudes? I mean … maybe if he pays for it …
No!! Women don't throw themselves at those kind of men. But... women really don't throw themselves at ANY man.
Agreed, he (like ANY man) needs to do the work to find sex. Maybe he even needs to pay for it.
THE WHOLE POINT IS .. he's a man. So he needs sex. And he will do whatever it takes to meet that need.
Women (like OP) don't work that way. She can easily go about her life as sexless days/weeks/months/years go by.
Weird how "whatever it takes" never includes "his fair share around the house." He'll run through a burning building to get his **** wet. But giving his kids a bath or asking his wife about her day is obviously a bridge too far, let's be serious.
Anonymous
09/21/2023 12:53
Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The title is wrong. You aren't frigid. You just don't want to have sex with a man you have come to resent and look down on (which I don't blame you).
PSA to men: most women don't want to have sex with men that they dislike.
Also most women come to dislike most men if they spend enough time with those men.
This truism ought to be carved in stone someplace.
+100
Anonymous
09/21/2023 12:45
Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I feel so sorry for your husband. You clearly do not love him. Why on earth would you do anything to please you?
He shouldn’t be taking care of his own children and household to “please her”. He should be doing it because he’s a grown ass adult.
+1. He should absolutely be taking care of his own kids no matter what she does or doesn't do.
And she shouldn't be getting involved with him romantically because he's taking care of his kids. She should be doing it because he's theoretically the person she loves best in the world and who she swore to be with forever.
Sure, but even if you don’t feel like being a good parent or a good spouse, you should still try to fake it.
having sex when you don't feel like it seems a bit rapey, or like duty sex. Gross.
On the other hand, I do "duty parenting" all the time!
Right? You ask your kid about their day and play candy land and all of that stuff even when you don’t want to. Why not just do the same for your spouse?
Just sort of be nice and “catch them being good” and do the stuff they like to do sometimes?
weird how some people think parenting is the same as how you treat your spouse.
1. you had kids. Parent them. They are your responsibility. Playing a boardgame with a kid does not include someone using your body when you don't want to.
2. your spouse is not your child. They are not your responsibility.
You people are sick.
Oh come on. You're making quite the leap here. I'm not the one you're responding to.
Have you ever not been pleasant or agreeable because you know that you should not because you necessarily want to. I thnk that's what that poster is trying to say.
Anonymous
09/21/2023 12:40
Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:While you OP (a woman) are fine going sexless, be advised that men don't do that. So he is 100% most definitely getting sex elsewhere. But do carry on with your perfect sexless (for you) marriage OP.
Believe me, this is not 100% definite. It’s not that simple or easy to “get it elsewhere”.
I never claimed it would be easy or simple to get it elsewhere. I do still claim he IS getting it elsewhere. Because he's a man, he needs sex and will do whatever work is needed.
Anonymous
09/21/2023 12:37
Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:While you OP (a woman) are fine going sexless, be advised that men don't do that. So he is 100% most definitely getting sex elsewhere. But do carry on with your perfect sexless (for you) marriage OP.
Looooool you think women are just throwing themselves at pot-bellied mid-40s men with sour attitudes? I mean … maybe if he pays for it …
No!! Women don't throw themselves at those kind of men. But... women really don't throw themselves at ANY man.
Agreed, he (like ANY man) needs to do the work to find sex. Maybe he even needs to pay for it.
THE WHOLE POINT IS .. he's a man. So he needs sex. And he will do whatever it takes to meet that need.
Women (like OP) don't work that way. She can easily go about her life as sexless days/weeks/months/years go by.
Anonymous
09/21/2023 12:33
Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I feel so sorry for your husband. You clearly do not love him. Why on earth would you do anything to please you?
He shouldn’t be taking care of his own children and household to “please her”. He should be doing it because he’s a grown ass adult.
+1. He should absolutely be taking care of his own kids no matter what she does or doesn't do.
And she shouldn't be getting involved with him romantically because he's taking care of his kids. She should be doing it because he's theoretically the person she loves best in the world and who she swore to be with forever.
Sure, but even if you don’t feel like being a good parent or a good spouse, you should still try to fake it.
having sex when you don't feel like it seems a bit rapey, or like duty sex. Gross.
On the other hand, I do "duty parenting" all the time!
Right? You ask your kid about their day and play candy land and all of that stuff even when you don’t want to. Why not just do the same for your spouse?
Just sort of be nice and “catch them being good” and do the stuff they like to do sometimes?
weird how some people think parenting is the same as how you treat your spouse.
1. you had kids. Parent them. They are your responsibility. Playing a boardgame with a kid does not include someone using your body when you don't want to.
2. your spouse is not your child. They are not your responsibility.
You people are sick.
Anonymous
09/21/2023 12:26
Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You sound miserable, OP.
Please do your husband a favor and divorce him; he deserves so much better.
What do you base this on? I understand we only have her side here, but nothing she said about him as a partner or parent makes me pity him so I'm not sure where you got that unless you're just kneejerk Team Guy on every thread.
Plus 1
Anonymous
09/21/2023 12:20
Subject: Re:frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s really hard to be a jerk to someone who loves you completely and unconditionally.
If he’s a good enough guy to want him around your kids, then he probably will try and do what you want if he feels that you love and respect him.
Why don’t you just try acting like a loving wife for a week and see how it goes. Be the kind of wife that you hope your son will have one day.
HAHAHAHAHAHA. Thanks for the laugh.
not OP
LOL. What I would like for my son is a wife who has a backbone and calls him out on his BS. But good luck finding a doormat for yours!
Anonymous
09/21/2023 12:14
Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:While you OP (a woman) are fine going sexless, be advised that men don't do that. So he is 100% most definitely getting sex elsewhere. But do carry on with your perfect sexless (for you) marriage OP.
It’s precious how you think this is some sort of threat. So freaking what?
Anonymous
09/21/2023 12:12
Subject: Re:frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:It’s really hard to be a jerk to someone who loves you completely and unconditionally.
If he’s a good enough guy to want him around your kids, then he probably will try and do what you want if he feels that you love and respect him.
Why don’t you just try acting like a loving wife for a week and see how it goes. Be the kind of wife that you hope your son will have one day.
HAHAHAHAHAHA. Thanks for the laugh.
not OP
Anonymous
09/21/2023 12:10
Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:I feel so sorry for your husband. You clearly do not love him. Why on earth would you do anything to please you?
I feel so sorry for his wife. He is clearly checked out, lazy and selfish. Why on earth would she want to do anything to please him?
Anonymous
09/21/2023 11:53
Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I feel so sorry for your husband. You clearly do not love him. Why on earth would you do anything to please you?
He shouldn’t be taking care of his own children and household to “please her”. He should be doing it because he’s a grown ass adult.
He is probably doing it to her preferences/standards, not his. The big issue is they probably never establish a "their" standard. So resentment has replaced logic.