Anonymous
Post 09/17/2023 09:31     Subject: helping them buy a home
My children just simply can’t figure out how to buy a house with their own brains, resilience or work. I’m going to do it for them. The difficulty of the easiest period to be alive in world history is just too much for them. I also bought them a automatic wiping toilet.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2023 09:27     Subject: helping them buy a home
Of course. We’re aiming to give our 3 kids 300k each for a down payment.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2023 09:06     Subject: helping them buy a home
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH and I want to help DS to purchase his first townhouse, around 1M, but we want DS to have skin in the game. DS has lived at home with us for three years and saved up 95% of his annual salary, after taxes, for the past three years with about 240K in his account. When he officially moved out two months ago, we gave him 600K for his 1M home purchase down payment. IMHO, that is the right approach.


Are you a troll? No one needs a million dollar house as their first home.


In the end the children know deep inside they never did anything on their own and know they are weak lightweights.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2023 12:34     Subject: helping them buy a home
Anonymous wrote:DH and I want to help DS to purchase his first townhouse, around 1M, but we want DS to have skin in the game. DS has lived at home with us for three years and saved up 95% of his annual salary, after taxes, for the past three years with about 240K in his account. When he officially moved out two months ago, we gave him 600K for his 1M home purchase down payment. IMHO, that is the right approach.



Your DS will never reach adulthood, will always be a mama’s boy.
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2023 16:44     Subject: helping them buy a home
Anonymous wrote:My parents passed and were pretty poor (my sibling and I got about 100k each all told). My spouse's parents, alive, have helped us buy a house (with a large down payment gift) and renovation. They are rather odd people, but have really made a point to say they want to help us now, while we actually need it to get ahead, rather than give it to us in 15-20 years after we've lived in too small of a house. It's wrapped up with legacy and seeing our kid (their only grandkid) has an elevated life. We work hard and have a good HHI, but none of us came from legacy money. Everything they gave us was hard earned (and good 1980s-2000 investments).


My sibling and I got nothing when our mother died and about $800 each when our father died. I never thought of my parents as broke, but damn...
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2023 16:40     Subject: helping them buy a home
Anonymous wrote:All these parents helping out their kids, they're boomers, right?

Just wanted to clear that up.


Nope

Gen X
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2023 16:39     Subject: helping them buy a home
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH and I want to help DS to purchase his first townhouse, around 1M, but we want DS to have skin in the game. DS has lived at home with us for three years and saved up 95% of his annual salary, after taxes, for the past three years with about 240K in his account. When he officially moved out two months ago, we gave him 600K for his 1M home purchase down payment. IMHO, that is the right approach.


That's the right approach? Giving him 600K?? You call that having skin in the game? LOL.


The kid lived at home for 3 years post college and saved 95% of his salary---so he lived fairly frugally. That is skin in the game. It shows he's committed to not just blowing all his money on luxury items. He has 240K in savings/emergency fund. Now that he knows he wants to stay in the area (likes his job, etc) he wants to settle down. What parent would not help a responsible kid if they have that much money?

I get it---you are jealous that you can't do that or didn't have that happen. But it doesn't mean the kid does not have "skin in the game"


So, the kid makes around $110k/yr with $400k mortgage and $3000 PITI? $600k gift is the only way he can afford a $1 mil house.
$3000 PITI is pretty tight for $110k salary.



Any parent that is giving 600K for a downpayment would likely also be helping them out otherwise as needed.



Kid could live on 10% of his salary for three years because parents were literally paying for everything else, not just providing housing.


That is obvious. But how many 22-25 yo do you know that would live at home and actually save 95% of their salary? Most who are used to that much money would be spending a lot of it
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2023 16:38     Subject: helping them buy a home
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind co-signing is also a huge help!


It is but I’d rather give some money up front so they can get their own loan and I don’t have the liability. Ideally.


+1000

I do NOT want the liability of co-signing for anything, but would do it for a car if needed to build more credit (we are actually a "liability" according to the credit rating system because we haven't had a mortgage in over 15 years, no car loans in 25 and pay our CCs off in full each month but apparently "carry to high of credit" because we spend a lot and put it all on CC if we can)
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2023 15:55     Subject: helping them buy a home
All these parents helping out their kids, they're boomers, right?

Just wanted to clear that up.
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2023 15:53     Subject: helping them buy a home
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH and I want to help DS to purchase his first townhouse, around 1M, but we want DS to have skin in the game. DS has lived at home with us for three years and saved up 95% of his annual salary, after taxes, for the past three years with about 240K in his account. When he officially moved out two months ago, we gave him 600K for his 1M home purchase down payment. IMHO, that is the right approach.


That's the right approach? Giving him 600K?? You call that having skin in the game? LOL.


The kid lived at home for 3 years post college and saved 95% of his salary---so he lived fairly frugally. That is skin in the game. It shows he's committed to not just blowing all his money on luxury items. He has 240K in savings/emergency fund. Now that he knows he wants to stay in the area (likes his job, etc) he wants to settle down. What parent would not help a responsible kid if they have that much money?

I get it---you are jealous that you can't do that or didn't have that happen. But it doesn't mean the kid does not have "skin in the game"


So, the kid makes around $110k/yr with $400k mortgage and $3000 PITI? $600k gift is the only way he can afford a $1 mil house.
$3000 PITI is pretty tight for $110k salary.



Any parent that is giving 600K for a downpayment would likely also be helping them out otherwise as needed.



Kid could live on 10% of his salary for three years because parents were literally paying for everything else, not just providing housing.
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2023 15:42     Subject: helping them buy a home
Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind co-signing is also a huge help!


It is but I’d rather give some money up front so they can get their own loan and I don’t have the liability. Ideally.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2023 20:02     Subject: helping them buy a home
Anonymous wrote:I think it will be exceedingly difficult for my kids, now in their 20s, to buy a first home without help. We'll be able to help, and plan to, when the time comes. Why should they wait till we die for money to be passed down if it can be put to use now? This "I pulled myself up by my bootstraps by brown-bagging it -- they will, too" attitude only goes so far when housing prices are this insane, yet I hear those kinds of comments frequently. To me it's delusional. Has anyone's young adult bought a house in the past year? Did you help?


Of course we helped? Just like our parents did? What are we supposed to do with all the wealth we accumulated? We can't take it with us when we die. We are passing it on down right now.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2023 19:45     Subject: helping them buy a home
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My parents passed and were pretty poor (my sibling and I got about 100k each all told). My spouse's parents, alive, have helped us buy a house (with a large down payment gift) and renovation. They are rather odd people, but have really made a point to say they want to help us now, while we actually need it to get ahead, rather than give it to us in 15-20 years after we've lived in too small of a house. It's wrapped up with legacy and seeing our kid (their only grandkid) has an elevated life. We work hard and have a good HHI, but none of us came from legacy money. Everything they gave us was hard earned (and good 1980s-2000 investments).


The bolded sentence (“poor” and “sibling and I got $100,000” so $&
200k) confuses me.

I wonder what percentage of the population gets more than a few thousand.

I, and many I know will be lucky if we don’t have creditors chasing after us.


We have given 200k to each child. 3 kids
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2023 18:14     Subject: helping them buy a home
Anonymous wrote:My parents passed and were pretty poor (my sibling and I got about 100k each all told). My spouse's parents, alive, have helped us buy a house (with a large down payment gift) and renovation. They are rather odd people, but have really made a point to say they want to help us now, while we actually need it to get ahead, rather than give it to us in 15-20 years after we've lived in too small of a house. It's wrapped up with legacy and seeing our kid (their only grandkid) has an elevated life. We work hard and have a good HHI, but none of us came from legacy money. Everything they gave us was hard earned (and good 1980s-2000 investments).


The bolded sentence (“poor” and “sibling and I got $100,000” so $&
200k) confuses me.

I wonder what percentage of the population gets more than a few thousand.

I, and many I know will be lucky if we don’t have creditors chasing after us.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2023 17:46     Subject: helping them buy a home
Keep in mind co-signing is also a huge help!